wow, my wife spends a lot on clothes

[maclover]

533$ for 3 months worth of lunches include taking the girls out at the office, as an appreciation lunch every once (every other month or so) in a while. Lunch is about 7$ when we do go out. Sometimes as high as 10 sometimes as low as 4. I work in an office where all the girls always eat out, even though they run out of money by the end of the month.

As for a debt hole, we do not carry a balance on any of our credit cards, ever. We routinely save 20%++. Last month I made 24K, which was 13.9K take home. We put away 3.5K into retirement. And we'll put 2K into savings. Another 500$ into an HSA. I'm almost done with the taxes and we're taking about 4K back, that will all go into the savings account.

I think our savings rate is good. Took me 18 months of working to get to 130K of assets. Should be more though, cause we lost about 20K so far in the stock market. I had a 40K headstart because it was left over student loan money. And so far the student loans are under control.

If the student loan debt is the biggest thing I should tackle. I'm ready to pay most of it off in cash. Especially when my wife gets her pay as a resident, albeit it'll be small, but it'll help. I just figured that having cash around was a good thing.

[zetta]

What if you approached by saying to your wife, "I don't want us to keep arguing about who is spending too much money on lunches or clothes. Could we sit down together and come up with a plan for our money?" Then read a book on personal finances together. I'd recommend either All Your Worth or The Finish Rich Workbook.

[trvlnut]

Has she always spent this much on clothes? If so, it may be a problem. If not, then she's just replenishing or updating her wardrobe.

IMHO $1600 isn't too much for clothes and shoes. Heck, a decent pair of shoes from Nordstroms is probably $100. I'm one that will only buy nice shoes and clothes since they seem to last the longest. I have a pair of Cole Hahns that are 20 years old. They're just now showing their age.

[maclover]

no it's a habit. she's always spent a lot on clothes. she goes through certain phases. lots of shoes for a session then lots of sweaters. goes with the season. she bought 2 north face jackets recently, I'm going to see if she'll let me return one. Never worn, no intention on wearing, tags and everything still on it.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by maclover

she bought 2 north face jackets recently, I'm going to see if she'll let me return one. Never worn, no intention on wearing, tags and everything still on it.

This is not a financial problem. This is a psychological problem and needs to be addressed accordingly. Sitting down and making a budget will likely get you nowhere. She needs to deal with whatever issues exist that make her go out and spend a fortune on items that she not only doesn't need but also doesn't even want. I would urge her to get professional help.

[ksluis62]

I agree with disneysteve. This sounds like a shopping addiction.
She doesn't even need this stuff, she just likes the rush of the purchase. She's obviously super-intelligent, but don't let that fool you into thinking she couldn't need professional help in this area.

[GREENBACK]

Originally Posted by maclover

Never worn, no intention on wearing, tags and everything still on it.

There is certainly something abnormal about this type of spending. I won't even try to play psychologist but does she display obsesive/compulsive behavior in other areas of her life.

[SavingCash]

You've definitely got a spender on your hands. I really like the all cash idea -- give her $xxx.xx per month to spend on clothes or whatever and once that's gone, it's gone. Also, when the money is physically changing hands, spending cash has a bit more impact that charging everything.

[maclover]

well just spoke to her. she seems to be okay with everything. regarding the jacket, once we find out where her match will be... if it's somewhere warm the jacket is going back. REI has a lenient return policy. Or I might just return it and we'll buy one if we need to.

we're going to start doing cash for clothes. I suggested 200$ a month, she said that's too drastic and would like 300$, we might have to compromise at 250. Basically I told her, lets not buy clothes for a while and you can wear the ones you have. All clothes purchases will be made in cash now. Screw the rewards on our CC.

Hopefully this will work out.

I do agree that she likes the thrill of shopping. I always kid with her, why don't you just pretend to buy it, but not really buy it. It'll have the same effect. I may have been overly drastic, a lot of clothes she will wear, but definitely not enough to warrant their purchase. Her mother and sister are exactly the same way, but in addition to clothing, her sister likes handbags Clothes is a fashion thing for them, they go out of style and it's time for something new.

I haven't noticed any other compulsive behavior in any other areas.

[myrdale]

You have an awsome income. Soon with her working you guys will be though the roof.

I would be careful though. There are alot of very rich people who live paycheck to paycheck in debt up to their eye balls. There is no excuse.

[arthurb999]

I ran into the same problem when I merged finances with my wife... I ran reports on mint.com and was shocked... I printed a nice graph showing that a paycheck a month went to clothes and she got the message. I also started using a cash only envelop system and it seems a lot harder to drop 5 $20s than put $100 on the credit card for clothes