How do you budget for kids?

[hopefulfirefly]

My dh and I are doing some "pre-family planning", and I'm curious...how did you anticipate the budget changes that would occur once you started a family?

I know kids are expensive, but, how expensive? I'm sure the answers vary greatly, as everyone spends differently on their children. But, I'm curious to hear your thoughts so I can accurately anticipate the costs associated with children. Thanks.

[tripods68]

Do you have $100K? That's how much it cost to raise a child right through High School from an article I read.

I don't think you can really be prepared for what's to come when deciding to have children. Hindsight 20/20 we would have liked to save somewhere around $20K EF at least. At the same time, we could have waited little longer and rent for a while and perhaps saved $100K in four years renting instead of going to house payment. But that's wish washy in our part. We don't regret any of our decisions though. We live in reality not the past.

But you can do is be prepared, make sure you have a steady job, good income, savings (EF), and develop a family budget if you don't have one. I would also pay all your debts first, if not trim it as much as possible.

[Nate417]

My DW and I just had our first baby, Nathan, 2 months ago. We had a lot of the same questions and had a lot of people tell us different things. Of course I can only speak to the initial costs and realistically it depends on how generous your friends and family are at the showers. We were incredibly fortunate in that we only had approximately $500 worth of things to buy in order to be ready for his arrival and we bought most of it used so save a little (craigslist is a wonderful thing). We have not had to buy a single outfit and will not have to do so until around his 1st birthday or so. We haven't really had to buy many diapers as we had a ton given to us, and my wife breastfed, so we haven't had to buy formula. So far we have been able to keep our expenses well under $100/month.

The most expensive piece was the actual delivery. My wife and Nathan both hit their maximum out of pocket expenses for our healthplan at $2,500 each so we had to stash away $5000 in our FSA. The pre-tax benefit helped a lot.

[tripods68]

Congratulations! $100 a month is pretty good. We average somewhere around 100 - 150 at any given month. Our kids 4 and 2 never breast-fed so the most of our expenses comes from food. But we also set aside $$ family vacations, birthdays, and christmas gifts.

[hopefulfirefly]

So far we have been able to keep our expenses well under $100/month.

That's amazing! I'd be thrilled if I could keep our expense that low!

realistically it depends on how generous your friends and family are at the showers.

Dh and I will be adopting, and for emotional reasons, we won't be having a shower before we have a baby. So, we're hoping to have a shower about 1 month after the baby is born (we'll be dealing with legal issues of adoption for the first 2-3 weeks, and I don't want to have a shower until everything is certain). We'll need to purchase everything that the baby will need the first month of his/her life. Also, we have to have a nursery all set up for our homestudy, so we have to purchase all of that as well. That's part of the reason I'm trying to figure out our costs, because we have a lot more upfront costs of "baby stuff" than most people do when they are expecting, in addition to the costs of adoption.

[MonkeyMama]

The setup cost will be what you make of it. Most baby stuff can be bought used or you can eventually sell for what you paid (since most baby stuff tends to be used so lightly).

I remember there was one baby sling I wanted for travel that I could not find used for the life of me. Paid almost $100 for a dang new one, but sold it for $100 on ebay when we got back from our trip.

Strollers we all bought used, which was nice since it was nice to try out different ones.

I did go a little crazy on the nursery and am not trying to sell the decor/bedding I paid hundreds for. I'll be lucky to get $40 on Craigslist. So all I can say is buy used used used. There is so much stuff for sale that hasn't even been "used."

Likewise, we don't find the "stuff" to be terribly expensive. Though this can really run the gammit. If you are willing to spend thousands, you can easily spend thousands. But their really isn't much a baby needs.

As far as food, our kids eat like adults. But we switched to about 99% home cooking when we dropped to one income, so in the end we probably spend less on food than we used to. Or the same.

Breastfeeding is certainly cheaper than formula BUT a breastfeeding mother eats a lot too. Sounds like won't be an issue for you. But yes, formula is expensive.

Diapers aren't so bad.

Then there's saving for college if it is important to you.

The killers are daycare and/or lost wages if a spouse stays home.

& healthcare.

For the healthcare alone, kids cost us about $500/month.

For the lost wages, they cost us about $50k/year. But we figured after daycare and taxes there wouldn't be much left anyway. So we'd lose most of the $50k either way.

[sounderella]

Cruise yard sales, flea markets, and Craigslist. It's almost certain that you will find baby stuff there. Look at Ebay too...but make sure you know how much what you're looking for costs at the store first. Get a Sam's or Costco membership...it's a lifesaver for formula and diapers. If you're going to be using daycare, shop around now and do comparisons. I think that's are most expensive aspect each month. We pay $589 mth and that's with the discount for paying the month in full.....of course this varies from area to area we just happen to live in a metro area. Good luck!!

[aida2003]

Like MM said the biggest killer is daycare if you both choose to work FT or lost salary if one of you quits work. We are not there yet, but I think after-school care during young years at school can be pricey as well.

I'm due in Aug. and we've been buying boxes of diapers whenever I came across a deal of less than 13-15 cents per diaper. I'll wait and see how breastfeeding goes before buying formula. I also registered for coupons on Similac and Enfamil a month ago, so maybe I'll get some coups soon.

We bought clothes/toys from garage sales or Goodwill. But I think you have to be lucky with garage sales and therefore I quit cruising them due to time, gas and occasional frustrations. I rather check Goodwill and a consignment store before looking for a sale at Target.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Are you asking about budgeting for all of childhood, or just for the first year or so?

Honestly, we budgeted zero for our baby. We had very little income at the time and were used to making do. Though we made little, we also did manage to save. We never felt like there would be a problem providing what our baby would need materially. But we also did not even know that the plethora of baby stuff even existed, so we did not think we needed it. Our friends with children did not have a lot of baby stuff, so it just wasn't something we saw.

Does someone give you a list of stuff they expect to see in the baby's room when they do the home study? I ask because I would not like to have to comply with somebody else's ideas of what is necessary for an infant.

If you did not need to impress some third party, I would advise you to keep it simple. Babies just don't need a lot of material things. And it is hard to know ahead of time which of the baby-oriented material things will make life easier for you as parents. Like---maybe you are sure you need baby monitors because your house is two stories with baby's room on a different room than the kitchen or office. But then, later you may find that you decide to make a sleeping place for baby on the first floor close to where you really are anyway because you do not want to have to dash up the stairs, or just because you want baby close. But I can see how you might want to have that kind of thing to demonstrate for the home study people that you are responsible and anticipate a child's needs.

[hopefulfirefly]

Like MM said the biggest killer is daycare if you both choose to work FT or lost salary if one of you quits work.

We are very blessed to have extremely flexible jobs. I will work from home several days a week and hopefully only need childcare for 1 or 2 days maximum. I'm sure that cost will be expensive because I don't believe in daycare (as an instituion) so we will have someone come to our home or take the baby to someone's home.

Are you asking about budgeting for all of childhood, or just for the first year or so?

I know the inital expenses will be high, but my question was more toward the everyday budget with a child. The increased costs of grocery bills, diapers, formula, etc.

For the healthcare alone, kids cost us about $500/month.

This seems really high! Why is it so expensive?

There is so much stuff for sale that hasn't even been "used."

When I adopted my puppy a few years ago, he had been abused, and they suggested that I get a playpen instead of a crate for the first several months until he was more comfortable with a crate. I went to a childrens resale shop and bought a brand new pack and play for $20! I couldn't believe it, so many things in the store still had tags on it!

Does someone give you a list of stuff they expect to see in the baby's room when they do the home study?

They don't give a list, but, they do want your house to be child proofed and you should have everything "necessary" for a baby. I know that word is subject to different interpretations, but at minimum we would need somewhere for the baby to safely sleep, a carseat, clothes, bottles, etc. Our house has to be properly equipped with fire, co2 detectors, fire extinguishers, etc.

[tripods68]

Ha...Daycare is absolutely the biggest DRAIN in family budget. Fortunately, my wife being a RN have flexibility with her schedule as well. So we don't spend any day care cost at all, which saved us between $15K to $20K a year. That's huge savings

[stressedmama]

Good luck with your adoption!!!

I second everyone with going to yard sales, craigslist, and consignment shops to pick up brand new/slightly used baby gear such as a swing, pack n play, clothes, etc.

When my hubby and I found out we were pregnant, both times, every time I went to Walmart/Target I would pick up 1 package of diapers or wipes. After 9 months I had a stockpile built up and both times didn't purchase a single wipe or diaper for almost 3 months! Formula is very expensive, but buy the powdered type where you add water yourself and not the premix stuff b/c it is a lot cheaper. Plus the Parents Choice (Walmart) brand is half the cost and is the same as the name brand type. They even sell organic, soy, lactose free, etc. if you end up needing it.

Daycare is the biggest expense my husband and I have (3 yr old & 11 month old). For part time care (with a discount) it still runs us $1200 a month (way more then our house payment)! We figure we'll be rich once they start school, if we decide to send them to a public school. Make sure you check with daycares in the area and ask about corporate discounts if you or your hubby works for a larger local employer. Some will give a slight discount if you ask, but they typically don't advertise it. Also if you know about when your adoption will be finalized, get on a waiting list of the daycare of your choice. In our area, it is common for many of the nicer daycares to have up to a year waiting list to get in.

Otherwise, you can visit and call around for what the average cost of daycare will be, budget for diapers/wipes and clothes monthly, and budget some for increase medical costs.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

You know, I should probably not leave the impression that I don't think people need to budget for children just because we didn't. The truth is, we still do not really budget after over 25 years together. We are just ever vigilant, not impulsive with many purchases, and save money in a zillion small ways. We happily coast along like this and provide for the future as well, but I know many people need to put some numbers before themselves in order to reach their goals.

[PrincessPerky]

While I am fuzzy on actual cost (this is my 4th kid, I have everything I need) the total of used 'stuff' amounts to 5 shirts, 3 nightgowns, 3 blankets, a 'castle' (basically a blanket on the floor but it is hers, no other kid is allowed on it) and diapers/wipes oh and backpack (serves as a diaper bag). She hasn't seen the inside of a crib (sleeps in 'castle' or in my bed) hasn't needed any stuff. Though we do own toys they are mainly for the big kids to feel useful. (shake the toy while I change the diaper, keeps your fingers out of the diaper stuff, doesn't hurt little El any)

Diapers/wipes are around 40 a month (projected, she is only 2 weeks old) which goes down as they hold it in longer (and can be greatly reduced by ECing)

The clothes are all half hand me downs I imagine you can find some hand me downs sitting in someone else's closet, that you can transfer to your own closet to use as needed. so you aught to be able to cloth a baby free. (washing them fits in my other loads, no need for separate ones unless baby is sensitive - most are not-they rub against your shirt all the time)

Of course I breastfeed, so add formula/bottles if you wont be.

Medical insurance can be a big add on...though not as big if you already have a family plan. (first three kids were no extra cost-different insurance at the time)...well baby checkups will be your copay at 1 weekish, 1mo, 3mo, 6mo, 9mo, and 1yr. (plus future years)

if you have a healthy kid you will luck out and not have any sick visits (I did three times..we shall see this time)

I was not working and still don't so no costs to care for the kid. Though I do recommend upping the expected food budget..because no woman should try to be superwoman and cook, clean, care for baby, and try not to sink into smelly spitup covered mess every day. So buy some convenience foods for the first month or so (or hire a maid) anything to reduce your own expectations. But make it healthy convenience..you will need your strength.

Oh and the most important device for a nursing mom...a pillow no need for a 50 dollar pillow, one from your bed or couch (or two) will do fine.