If you can save...why not just finance?

[maat55]

Try adding up the cost for just you and your baby going and staying with your parents.

[AmbitiousSaver]

Originally Posted by maat55

Try adding up the cost for just you and your baby going and staying with your parents.

That would be almost like nothing... I have a free awards ticket, baby could fly on my lap... I don't need/want a rental car since I could ride with my Dad or my best friend wherever I went. My Dad could borrow a car seat from one of my Aunts or Uncles... all I'd have to worry about is food for myself.

Only thing is DH would need to take leave from his job or something cause there would be no one home to watch the kids.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Where are you staying for hotel? $216 seems high. Also in April for sure you can get less than $858. Where are you leaving from? Please mention major city you want to leave from, and I'll kayak you what the prices range from.

Another consideration, is why can't your kids leave school when the eldest is 8? I recall taking trips at that age and leaving school. Why can't your kids miss MORE school? How much are they missing?

Another thing, what island are you staying at? I've rented a car in Honolulu, because my parents lived on an outer island. And you can usually priceline a minivan for less than $530.

Sorry but you are doing this the most expensive way possible. NO WAY in april you should be paying $800 for airline tickets. More like $500 or $600 depending on city, less on the West Coast.

Are you considering cooking at your parents house instead of eating out every meal? $6/per person when you have 4 kids IS high. Children eat less than Adults and that's including the nursing baby. Or baby less than 2 years old if they can sit in your lap.

I've been travelling home from all over the US for 10+ years now, and I know what prices are good or not. I never pay $1k except at Christmas.

$8k for a total trip for 6 is still a lot. I bet I could get your tickets down, like my mom's $475 ticket HNL to BOS. But if you don't want suggestions then don't complain.

But Hawaii doesn't have to be expensive. And if you are flying from anywhere on the West Coast for sure you can get it cheap.

Another time to go is right after new years. That's another cheap time of year. Or Early September. We got married in September and most of our friends flew for $400-500.

[AmbitiousSaver]

We'd be staying at the Hale Koa... 2 rooms cause we need 3 beds (one for DH & I, one for the girls (8&7), one for my son, and a crib for the baby. For his rank, it is $108/nt per room but that is TOTAL... no hotel taxes since its a government hotel... so that is how I arrived at $216 (which is the standard low floor room)

We'd be leaving from ORF to HNL and wanting to travel around April 10th and fly back on April 18th

Not sure about the eating out... we tend to overestimate to be on the safe side. We try to fly with Delta just cause that is who we have mileage awards with them and that is where I have the free ticket and only have to buy 5 tickets then... and they have a flight from Norfolk to Atlanta then Atlanta to Honolulu which is pretty straight forward which makes it easier with 4 kids.

The only reason I am hesitant about the school thing is... we'll be taking the kids out in September for a week to take the trip to Missouri... so they'll be missing 6 days there.... then we'd like to at least be in Hawaii for a week... so they'd miss an additional 6-8 days... and they can only miss so much otherwise we get this nasty letter in the mail saying they may be held back for missing too many days.

Anyhow, if you know how we can do this cheaper than 8K, I'd appreciate any insight since it could make it more within our reach. We don't travel too much... we've never taken a trip to Missouri JUST to see DH's family... we had to move cross country once so we saw them once from VA to CA and then again when we went to CA to VA... but that was it. And we only flew back to Hawaii once in 6 years and only cause my Dad said he'd pay for the airfare.

Oh and cooking at my Dad and Aunt's (he lives with his sister since she takes care of him) isn't really an option cause my Aunt is OCD and anal retentive... I didn't even cook when I lived with them. She made the meals and assigned to me what was okay and not okay to eat (which is probably why I tried to control the fridge when I first got married to DH). When we last went there they invited us out to eat and for breakfast and would cover the meals when they did so, but thats more of an occasional thing.

[maat55]

Originally Posted by AmbitiousSaver

That would be almost like nothing... I have a free awards ticket, baby could fly on my lap... I don't need/want a rental car since I could ride with my Dad or my best friend wherever I went. My Dad could borrow a car seat from one of my Aunts or Uncles... all I'd have to worry about is food for myself.

Only thing is DH would need to take leave from his job or something cause there would be no one home to watch the kids.

Considering the cost of all of you going, he has to take off anyway to go with you, instead he could stay home with the kids. Personally, I would do that before anything else.

It's these type's of decissions that make or break your budget. I'm sure you would have no problem getting your husband to ok this.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Just you and the baby go to Hawaii, while back home you have hired a temp Nanny to take care of the kids for a week or two so that husband does not have to take off work?

If you all go, can you not bring in a cot, or put three kids in a bed? Most hotel beds are queen size and three little kids should be able to fit. Combine that with making sandwiches for several meals, having a several one-pot dinners at your dad's house, scouting around for best air fares and it sounds like you could get by with a lot less than $8000. Maybe make the visit shorter, too.

It may be harsh to mention this, but if your Dad is dying, will you soon be planning another trip for a funeral? In that case, you may have zero choice in arrangements to get the price down and you wouldn't want to be hassled with price comparisons at that time. At very least, you should be saving for emergency trips home (to both MO and HI.).

Our parents are elderly we keep that in mind for our emergency fund. Some of our BILs and SILs live internationally and it was hard to get everyone home for their mother's funeral, as the flights were especially expensive spur of the moment.

So....It might help if you think of going on the cheap now as being a way to add to your savings for being able to go on emergency.

Gosh, this thread has really covered some ground.

[Correction: sorry missed the part about not eating at Aunt's house. Still you could make sandwiches or whatever each day and put them in the van with you. Fill a jug of water and have paper cups. Picnic for your lunch everyday. Sounds like you would be leaving your aunt and dad at meal time anyhow. Make extra for your Dad and bring him along for the picnic if he's able.]

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by DayByDay

Maybe he's a visual learner. Find one of the interest calculators online and show him the actual amount the motorcycle will cost him if he did it his way (cost of motorcyle + interest) vs. your way (cash price of motorcycle - interest earned in savings account).

This is exactly what I was going to suggest. Many people think, "If I can afford the monthly payment I can afford the purchase" but they don't look at the big picture. They don't look at the cost of financing.

Show him the numbers. Let him see that financing will result in a higher actual cost than saving and then paying in cash.

And leave open the possibility that if things are going well with the debt repayment that there could be a compromise along the way. Maybe you'll save the $175/month for 18 months and then buy at that point but only have to finance $80/month (or whatever the numbers work out to be).

Bottom line, as others have said, is that you BOTH need to agree to make debt repayment a priority over spending on luxury items.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

If the baby flies in your lap that is 5 tickets. And here is a picture of the matrix of rock bottom prices in September of this year $600 = $3k for the 5 of you. If you push browse fare history you can see what the average fair is. In May it's around $500-600/per person.

So prices from Norfolk is definitely doable in the $600 range, and if you are paying attention, get on flight alerts you'll be able to hit under $500 like my mom, grandma did. I have flight alerts on my email to help me catch perfect deals like the $422. Also it's not a good idea to try to ride specific airlines. This makes it less likely you'll catch a good deal.

Stay at the ghetto pagoda hotel for $150/night. NOT as nice as hale koa but a good deal. Get the 2 room with kitchen, and bam, I've saved you a bunch of money. Eat breakfast and lunch there, unless you are with family. Invite family over to hotel and eat in the room. Shop at commisary when you are in hawaii because I just got you a hotel with kitchenette. It's walking distance to ala moana, walmart, and the beach. Depending on where your family lives it's not great, but if you were going to stay at hale koa it's the same thing.

Next step priceline your car. Use this website bidding for travel to get an idea of what to pay. I think $30/day should get you a minivan. So $250/8 days. There half the price. Or find a great budget coupon, right now my roomie is renting a car for 14 days for $200 total! Some coupon deals are better than priceline.

I've trimmed a substantial amount from your budget for the trip.

I tend to agree about going alone. Last time I went home I went alone. DH didn't want to spend that much going with me over Christmas when my mom had surgery. Turns out it was the right move.

Less than a month after I got back, my grandfather died and I went right back to hawaii. And yes I had to go, my mom was a single parent for the first 10 years of my life and my grandparents really did help to raise me. And DH went with me because I was quite sad and he knew my grandfather better than his own, who had also recently died.

[AmbitiousSaver]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

If the baby flies in your lap that is 5 tickets. And here is a picture of the matrix of rock bottom prices in September of this year $600 = $3k for the 5 of you. If you push browse fare history you can see what the average fair is. In May it's around $500-600/per person.

So prices from Norfolk is definitely doable in the $600 range, and if you are paying attention, get on flight alerts you'll be able to hit under $500 like my mom, grandma did. I have flight alerts on my email to help me catch perfect deals like the $422. Also it's not a good idea to try to ride specific airlines. This makes it less likely you'll catch a good deal.

Stay at the ghetto pagoda hotel for $150/night. NOT as nice as hale koa but a good deal. Get the 2 room with kitchen, and bam, I've saved you a bunch of money. Eat breakfast and lunch there, unless you are with family. Invite family over to hotel and eat in the room. Shop at commisary when you are in hawaii because I just got you a hotel with kitchenette. It's walking distance to ala moana, walmart, and the beach. Depending on where your family lives it's not great, but if you were going to stay at hale koa it's the same thing.

Next step priceline your car. Use this website bidding for travel to get an idea of what to pay. I think $30/day should get you a minivan. So $250/8 days. There half the price. Or find a great budget coupon, right now my roomie is renting a car for 14 days for $200 total! Some coupon deals are better than priceline.

I've trimmed a substantial amount from your budget for the trip.

I tend to agree about going alone. Last time I went home I went alone. DH didn't want to spend that much going with me over Christmas when my mom had surgery. Turns out it was the right move.

Less than a month after I got back, my grandfather died and I went right back to hawaii. And yes I had to go, my mom was a single parent for the first 10 years of my life and my grandparents really did help to raise me. And DH went with me because I was quite sad and he knew my grandfather better than his own, who had also recently died.

Wow, I don't know what else to say but thanks. You've definitely helped a lot in this respect.

Although, is it bad if I don't think the Pagoda is really ghetto? We used to go there for lunch and dinner a lot... and I always loved it. I actually like going to the Mom & Pop places they have there to eat too... Sekiya's was always pretty popular for us in Kaimuki especially right after school. Not fancy and I'm sure some tourists would snub their nose at some of those places... but I love the food there.

Thanks again

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Pagoda is just well local. My DH hates it but personally I have no issues with it. My parents have a condo in the area, and while it's very touristy, it's convient.

Also Zippy's is pricey now! Ouch! Stay away from there. Shop at the commissary and try to cook simple meals in the room. Cereal for breakfast, etc. I think it's too expensive to eat out in the area, your better deals to eat out are in Kaimuki or Aiea.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

LivingAlmostLarge, you are one smart cookie!

[Tree0164]

If it was me, I would go to see my father myself if he is dying. Will you be able to forgive yourself if something happens.

This way you can also stay with your friend and not hae to worry about staying in a hotel.

You and your husband do sound like you need to mature and stop playing games with the money and the My wants are needier than your wants. If you don't it will cause a ton of stress on the marriage.

[AmbitiousSaver]

Originally Posted by Tree0164

You and your husband do sound like you need to mature and stop playing games with the money and the My wants are needier than your wants. If you don't it will cause a ton of stress on the marriage.

Ok, this quote just pretty much irritated me. What do you know about how mature we are? I think I have done pretty damn good for myself considering when I came to this forum I was $12500 in debt and now I have it down to $9600 in a few days.

Maturity is a comment I never hear of being an issue... I am 26 and have FOUR kids... I have gone without grocery shopping for myself when DH is gone just so I can pay OFF a credit card instead of just paying it down. I finished my bachelor's degree in 2 1/2 years despite becoming a mother at 18 & 19. I had my son the day of my auditing final and we had to move 6 months before I graduated... but I still did.

So we made a few bad choices.... rationalized them for our kids. Part of the CC debt is a water softener we bought because of our son having such bad skin... the other was home renovations... I can account for every single thing that is on that credit card and have a plan in place to pay it off in February at the latest, possibly October of THIS year... considering we are $9K in debt and DH's bonus is ONLY $3K this year... I think that speaks for itself. I just haven't divulged the plan DH and I have talked about on the forum, its in my blog.

Right now we just need some guidance to help us prioritize and know which goals we can/should go for. And how to reach those goals without spending more than we need to. I'm sorry we aren't financially saavy as we should be for others at our age.... its not like we were ever taught about finances as a kid since we didn't talk about them... and my parents, although I love them dearly, certainly weren't great role models.

But tell me my argument doesn't make sense and show me how, tell me I could be doing something better and how/why... I'll actually sit and think about the points you make and will likely even say THANK YOU for it... but don't just judge me. So many people I've known in life have done that to me and did that to me when I got pregnant at 18 just out of high school. I kept hearing I'll never get my degree.

Not only did I get my degree, I had two more kids and still graduated when I was 22 and am going back for my masters. Ambition is one thing I don't lack... and coming across judgemental comments like the above just give me more motivation to prove people wrong.

And I do have to add... my marriage is one thing I am not worried about. Although we may get into a heated first discussion... we keep revisiting it till we come to a resolution we are both fine... nothing is ever a closed discussion. And when push comes to shove DH and I will push back our goals in the interests of our children UNLESS that goal is also seen to be of their benefit (such as buying a different home/neighborhood when our neighborhood started getting tagged by gangs and I found out I was pregnant with a fourth)... or like the water softener or my minivan. Thats when our judgement can get a little faded cause we want them in a good, safe neighborhood... I want them to be safe in a reliable vehicle I can trust... and I don't want my son's skin and allergies so bad as it was before we got the water softener.

[cicy33]

I think you are doing great. You are probably doing better than us and I am 40! Keep going the way you are. You are a little luckier than me in that your husband will actually discuss with you. mine won't. He is so stubborn. God forbid I use the word cutback. Sometimes I think that there are those on this board that are more dedicated or one tracked on their debt than others. And that is great for them, but for others (like me) I will do it a bit slower as I want to enjoy life a little bit now as well as enjoy it later when I may or may not be around. I will still achieve the same result, just not as fast.

[jIM_Ohio]

Originally Posted by AmbitiousSaver

Ok, so after sitting down and figuring out a budget and how we're going to pay for our debts... set aside money every month to account for future goals (buy a car in cash, etc, etc) I figured out to do what we want to do for the next 9 years... we need to save a set amount a month

So I tell DH he can get a motorcycle in 2011

To which he say "Why don't you just tell me I can't get one then? Cause in 3 years something else will come up and I can't get one." He's up in arms about this cause earlier I told him we could use our tax return next year and get him a motorcycle, which with adjusting our withholding to pay down the CC debt... is no longer an option.

So I say "Look, all I'm saying is if you really want one, just set aside $175/mo for 3 years" and he responds "Why can't we just finance one for $175/mo if we can save that $175?"

And I told him "Cause we're paying interest on it every month vs EARNING interest"

Is there a way I can help change his thinking or make him see what I'm trying to do? His thinking doesn't make sense, right? And I'm not good at explaining things like that... he just thinks this is my round about way of saying we'll never get one

I'm just thinking "Jeez, he should be glad I'm thinking about HIS goal of a motorcycle and not MY goal for a horse." At least I'm trying to think of a plan to make it happen vs throwing my hands up in the air and saying "My dreams will never come true"

Ask DH what is short, mid and long term goals are. Financially speaking. I have seen some of the replies already, but wanted to chime in on the OP before seeing all the replies.

Both of you need to align all financial goals together. The debt is a problem, but so are the goals of the other spouse. In my case I want to save for early retirement, where as my wife would like to take more vacations and more family time now. Your husband's need for toys should not be dismissed. But it should be rationalized within a budget both of you agree on.

[jIM_Ohio]

Originally Posted by AmbitiousSaver

We want too much.... I actually suggested he go IA (something he's been suggesting to me to do to get out of debt). He'd be gone for a year in Iraq. We agree on our month to month budget... but can't agree on our goals or what to save for.

He tried equating my masters degree to him wanting a motorcycle, and I said No, my masters can earn me more money. I'm just ARRRRGHHHH!! Frustrated. I love him... but him going to Iraq for a year has suddenly become very tempting since he's not willing to budge on his goals.

He wants to spend $6K on a motorcycle, $1500 to see his family... I want $9000 for my master's degree and $8000 to have my family go back to Hawaii so my Dad can see the baby and I can too.

The conversation was never fully resolved. I told him I'll figure out how to get him a motorcycle if he figures out how to let me see my family in Hawaii. I don't know...

You each believe your own goals trump that of the other. That is a recipe for disaster. The budget needs to account for all financial goals, so my take is you really do not have a budget yet.

Figure out the long term, mid term and short term goals. Make sure the long term goals (debt free and retirement) are funded first, but do not fund all long term goals at expense of some reasonable short term goals.

Maybe let DH take a vacation where he can rent a motorcycle for a weekend. Maybe that delays the itch to get one.

[jIM_Ohio]

Originally Posted by maat55

I think you should look at the possibililty of just you going to see your dad and him his parents. I think your families would understand that, 8 traveling is a problem. These trips alone are a financial disaster. Family visits should never be a huge burden, think about it.

I will second this. I sounds like both of you are independant. Take the trip yourself. In addition demand from your families that they come and see you.

I live 400 miles from my family and best/oldest friend. Huge family- aunts uncles cousins and cousins kids now total close to 70 on my mothers side and we are real close. Our philosophy has been that we do drive in 2-3 times per year. If there is a wedding, then that is one of the 2-3 trips. Otherwise we expect to get visitors here in cincy. Only 3 of my family members have visited us (except for our wedding here). I know everyone is busy, but family is a two way street.

See the family by yourself (to keep costs down). If the families want to see your family (and the kids), they need to make it a point to see you where you live.

[creditcardfree]

Originally Posted by AmbitiousSaver

... maybe we could sell his car and downsize his car to afford a car we can buy in cash and a motorcycle in cash. I mentioned that yesterday and he said it wouldn't work.... but now he's thinking about it.

I think this is an excellent idea, considering that it would take any or much extra cash to get to the goal of a motorcycle. One WANT down without extra cash and you move on to the other goals.

It is definitely worth researching!