cigarettes

Hot dog · #1 (**permalink**) 03-20-2008, 09:20 AM

Where do they fit into your budget? Especially if only one of you smoke. Does it get budgeted like a regular bill or does it come from that particular person's blow money?

Spud · #2 (**permalink**) 03-20-2008, 10:51 AM

IMO, that comes out of blow money. It is certainly not a necessity... it's that person's 'extra.'

That said, if the person asked their Dr. for a prescription for Wellbutrin (Zyban) to help them quit, that cost would come out of Medical budget. As would nicotine gum, or whatever other quit aids. I would want to encourage my partner to quit, and get their fun money back ASAP as a 'reward.'

LuxLiving · #3 (**permalink**) 03-21-2008, 10:07 AM

Spud, we are set up exactly that way.

If Hubster wants to continue to smoke it comes out of blow money, a/k/a his allowance.

If he wanted to quit? I'd go sell my hair, my blood, my plasma, my year's supply of Hellman's mayo, my eye-teeth & gold fillings to help him do it if necessary, otherwise it would come out of our Med/presc/co-pay Fund.

LivingAlmostLarge · #4 (**permalink**) 03-21-2008, 09:36 PM

I hear Chantix is good. And definitely blow money.

Hot dog · #5 (**permalink**) 03-24-2008, 06:23 AM

So do you think it only fair for one to smoke if there is enough for the other spouse to blow the same. It just seems like it is so much to waste for something that is only gonna hurt and cost you more in the long run. Can you tell I am not the one who smokes. I would definitely pay any extra to help stop. They offer free Chantix through our health dept. I am hoping hubby will soon take advantage. He keeps saying he is going too.

Ima saver · #6 (**permalink**) 03-24-2008, 06:59 AM

When I quit, I took the money that I spent on cigarettes every day and put it away into a special savings! Back then, it was only about 70 cents a pack. When I started smoking, cigarettes were $2 a carton or 20 cents a pack. Smoking has killed many in my family!

CouponAddict · #7 (**permalink**) 03-24-2008, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hot dog

So do you think it only fair for one to smoke if there is enough for the other spouse to blow the same. It just seems like it is so much to waste for something that is only gonna hurt and cost you more in the long run. Can you tell I am not the one who smokes. I would definitely pay any extra to help stop. They offer free Chantix through our health dept. I am hoping hubby will soon take advantage. He keeps saying he is going too.

I know what you mean. But smoking is an addiction. If you cant afford the amount he is spending on smoking, maybe set the allowance amount at what you can afford and if he wants/needs more he can go out and earn it. My DH used to donate plasma before I told him to stop, he needed to take a break health wise so I said if he stopped I would increase his blow money, since it was me that wanted him to stop donating plasma for his health.

My DH chews, we have two boxes of regular nicorette type gums in the cabinent, I went out and bought him the flavored nicorette gum since he said he would have used the gum, IF the Pharmacy had not sent him the flavor less stuff. Well 200 pieces of gum ($80) sit on the table because he desided since he may get deployed again in Nov/Dec he is just going to start chewing again. Put Kodiak Chew right on the care package wish list I started for him.

His chew/smoking sticks comes out of his allowance/blow money, I dont get blow money because I am frugle and because he says I always have access to the money...I do always have access I just have a extremely hard time spending money on myself instead of saving.

Smoking is a bad habit, can you not afford the money he is spending? Maybe if he is going to spend $50 a month on smoking you could take the same $50 and take out a life insurance policy on him....You are spending the same amount and planning for the outcome of his addiction!

PrincessPerky · #8 (**permalink**) 03-24-2008, 09:10 AM

I recommend trying to keep track of how much is spent on the cigs (a subheading of his allowance) and I TOTALLY recommend making sure you get a matching allowance..save it, spend it, get gold fillings if you like, but make sure he knows how much he is wasting and how much you deserve at least the same. (prolly deserve more, since you have to put up with the smokes)

maat55 · #9 (**permalink**) 03-24-2008, 04:20 PM

For fun, you should add up a month what you spend on them and run some savings calculations to see just how much they are costing.

Spud · #10 (**permalink**) 03-24-2008, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hot dog

So do you think it only fair for one to smoke if there is enough for the other spouse to blow the same.

Yes, I absolutely think this is fair. If he is spending $100/month on Cigarettes, you get $100/month to do with what *you* want, too. Not that you need to actually spend this money... putting it away for something nice for you, or for a rainy day is fine too, but it should be in the budget and it should be YOURS.

Quote:

It just seems like it is so much to waste for something that is only gonna hurt and cost you more in the long run.

Well, yes. I hope your husband quits soon, too. I always like this site... I used this a lot when I quit. I kept telling myself I could get to the next milestone, and the next, and the next...
Quit Line: When You Quit

CouponAddict - Having access to money is not the same as having a set amount of money that is yours. I give the same advice to you - your husband gets blow-money, you should too. Set it aside in a 'piggy-bank' account, and do something nice for YOU someday -- whether that nice thing is a vacation, a swanky new outfit, or a cushier retirement is up to you, but you need your 'blow money' too even if you are the frugal one.

Hot dog · #11 (**permalink**) 03-25-2008, 08:06 AM

I am the frugle one also and it would be hard for me to just waste money every month. He says it is like $75. I could get my nails done and go out a couple times. I would just feel guilty and really just want to be debt free.

CouponAddict · #12 (**permalink**) 03-25-2008, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spud

CouponAddict - Having access to money is not the same as having a set amount of money that is yours. I give the same advice to you - your husband gets blow-money, you should too. Set it aside in a 'piggy-bank' account, and do something nice for YOU someday -- whether that nice thing is a vacation, a swanky new outfit, or a cushier retirement is up to you, but you need your 'blow money' too even if you are the frugal one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hot dog

I am the frugle one also and it would be hard for me to just waste money every month. He says it is like $75. I could get my nails done and go out a couple times. I would just feel guilty and really just want to be debt free.

I decided yesterday after reading this thread, I am going to use the same amount of his blow money to pay down our mortgage. Most people would say to invest it- not pay down a mortgage. But investing it or saving it is not really an option in my household. (A whole diffferent thread).

By me using "my blow money" to pay extra principle on the mortgage I am decreasing debt which makes me happy (if I keep it up I will take 10 years & 7 months off the loan & save 59,085.50 in interest) but at the same time I am spending money on me---having a paid in full home would bring me a wonderful secure feeling.

Hotdog--You said you really just want to be debt free...Is there a debt reducing way to spend the money ($75??)?

Hot dog · #13 (**permalink**) 03-25-2008, 10:03 AM

I also have access to the money. We don't pool our $. He has his account and I have mine. It probably evens out percentage wise. He makes much more than I make so he pays more. I however always put any extra toward my 2nd mortgage (that is my only debt) beside the regular mortgage. I have just been thinking about putting it all together and how we would figure out blow $ cause he is not good about keeping a check book. I could not share with him. It would be one for bills, one for him, and one for me. It sometimes irks me that he spends that much when for me I don't spend on myself and if I did it would be on the family taking us all out to dinner or a movie.

NDArmyGrrl · #14 (**permalink**) 03-25-2008, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hot dog

I also have access to the money. We don't pool our $. He has his account and I have mine. It probably evens out percentage wise. He makes much more than I make so he pays more. I however always put any extra toward my 2nd mortgage (that is my only debt) beside the regular mortgage. I have just been thinking about putting it all together and how we would figure out blow $ cause he is not good about keeping a check book. I could not share with him. It would be one for bills, one for him, and one for me. It sometimes irks me that he spends that much when for me I don't spend on myself and if I did it would be on the family taking us all out to dinner or a movie.

I want to offer a suggestion and ask a question.

You could maybe open a joint account that you both put bill money into based on both of your income income levels to pay the bills, and joint expenses (dinner and a movie out). If you are both going out to dinner together or a movie together (unless you are inviting another couple and offering to pay for them) then that is a joint expense.

Keep the single accounts for the extra leftover money. Make sure he has overdraft protection on his account since you say he is not good at keeping a checkbook. You would need to figure out how much each of you makes and the monthly bills so you could come up with a % that works for both of you to place in the joint checkbook . I think that maybe once joint expenses (dinner out or a movie) where being paid out of joint money you would maybe not feel so taken advantage of.

I maybe wrong here, but is the overall problem you feel that he has his money to spend how he wants (smoking) and yet you are using your money on him because you are picking up the tab for dinners, movies, entertainment when you feel those types of expenses should be shared without having to do the married person dutch date thing? Or is it that you really wish that the split of the income to pay bills was more concrete say a 70 - 30 split instead of an unknown.

maat55 · #15 (**permalink**) 03-25-2008, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hot dog

I am the frugle one also and it would be hard for me to just waste money every month. He says it is like $75. I could get my nails done and go out a couple times. I would just feel guilty and really just want to be debt free.

You call being frugle, trading ciggerettes for nails and going out? You and my wife.

I look at trading them for a more exciting retirement.

Staceyy · #16 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 05:23 AM

Dh pays for them out of his per diem money. He gets coupons in the mail and saves his points to obtain additional coupons. He just received two $15coupons off a carton, in the mail, and is about to send for two more. We live in PA but he travels each week to VA as a long distance truck driver and buys his cigarettes there as they are a lot cheaper.

disneysteve · #17 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spud

Yes, I absolutely think this is fair. If he is spending $100/month on Cigarettes, you get $100/month to do with what *you* want, too.

I disagree. I don't think that is good money management - "You're blowing money so I should get to blow money, too." Spending by a couple isn't going to be even, dollar for dollar. My wife spends more than me on clothing. Does that mean I should go out and spend that same amount on something else? Of course not.

Here's an idea. He's spending $100/month on cigarettes. Why don't you spend $100/month to buy him Chantix and get him to quit?

Ima saver · #18 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:31 AM

I agree with steve!

mezzchick · #19 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 06:38 AM

Just a thought..would he consider rolling his own cigarettes? It doesn't take long. My husband and I do this and it costs about 30 dollars a month for the two of us.

Spud · #20 (**permalink**) 03-26-2008, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disneysteve

I disagree. I don't think that is good money management - "You're blowing money so I should get to blow money, too." Spending by a couple isn't going to be even, dollar for dollar. My wife spends more than me on clothing. Does that mean I should go out and spend that same amount on something else? Of course not.

Here's an idea. He's spending $100/month on cigarettes. Why don't you spend $100/month to buy him Chantix and get him to quit?

You didn't read the rest of my post. Of course I don't think that if the one person is spending $100 on crap, then the other should spend $100 on crap too. But for one partner to have 'extra' and the other to have nothing, or to feel like they have nothing (which is worse, imo!) isn't fair, and creates disparity in power. If that $100/month went to pay off her bills, or in a piggy bank account for a rainy day, or whatever, that's fine ... but she should feel like she has a little of her own money to do whatever she wants with. Of course, if buying Chantix for her husband makes her feel happy and empowered, then by all means, do that!