Feeling like the Titanic!

[noppenbd]

I would point out that health care FSAs (different from dependent care FSAs, you can have both) are fairly liberal in what can be reimbursed. For instance, doctor/dentist copays, tylenol, sunblock, Dr. Scholls inserts, band-aids, sudafed, visine, tums, are all reimbursable with our plan, if you save your receipts. These items can add up very quickly. You do need to "use it or lose it" each year, so don't put too much in it the first year.

[scfr]

tcrocker - I'm glad to hear your mortgage has been switched to a fixed. At least now it's a "known quantity" and you don't have to worry about it going up. Work your budget around that monthly payment.

Until you get a paying job, you can give yourself the job of making sure that the money your husband is working so hard to earn does not get wasted.

Dave Ramsey book - I haven't read it, but from what I've heard about him and hearing about your situation, I think it would be a very helpful book for you. If you can't find one of his books at the library, go ahead and check out another basic personal finance book. Look for a book that covers tracking expenses, budgeting, cost-cutting, and saving. [Examples would be books by Suze Orman or David Bach, but there are plenty of others too.]

I'd recommend that you start writing down every penny you spend. Then, you can go back and start questioning those expenses.

Keep questioning the cable and phone companies about your charges, and by all means bundle or switch to less expensive plans if available. Cable companies don't necessarily advertise their least expensive plans. Our former cable company would have you belive that "Basic" cable was their lowest available level, but after some questioning I found out that they also offered a package called "Limited" cable that was only $14.95 per month.

By the way, on the soda pop: If you buy inexpensive frozen juice concentrate and mix it up in a pitcher and keep it on hand in the fridge, you might not only save money but it will be healthier too.

tcrocker - I like your attitude ... You are willing to admit some past mistakes and you want to learn! I hope you'll stick around here and share your experiences and keep asking questions.

[anonymous_saver]

Personally, I don't love the Dave Ramsey book. He goes towards doing things that are psychologically better for you, rather than financially better/faster for you.

Look at Suze Orman's book The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke as an alternative. This book will help you pay off things quicker than Dave Ramsey.

Even though I dislike Dave Ramsey, it doesn't mean that it's a horrible option. I just like going for financial benefits over psychological ones.

I would try going to your local library and picking up each book if you'd like. Then you can make your own decision which is better for your family.

[aida2003]

Originally Posted by Joan.of.the.Arch

(Side note to aida2003: Does anyone need glasses or contacts? That can take up a sizeable chunk of that FSA money.)

Yes, I know about the glasses. That will be the last option. We have a grace period to use medical FSA until March 2009 (submit receipts by the end of May'09). So, we still have a whole year and if nothing I'll just have suck up and get a new pair of glasses.

[tcrocker]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

I just checked Charter's website. The price on that 3-service bundle is $99.97/month. That might be a promo for new customers, but all you should need to do is call customer service and ask to have your rate lowered or else you will cancel the service. They would much rather give you the advertised rate than lose your business.

ETA: To get that rate, you have to have not subscribed to their internet service in the past 30 days. So if they really hassle you (which they probably won't), just cancel for a month and then sign up as a new customer.

Yeah, we were in that $100 package as new customers but it ended this billing cycle. Last year I found out that Charter had been over-billing us for internet modems we did not have, that we had returned. So I complained to the GM and they gave me the special for a whole nother year. The same thing happened with Sprint! I called them questioning our bill and I found out that for TWO YEARS I had been over billed by $80.00. They would not give me a credit but sent me two new phones

I am going to spend a Saturday at the library and look up all of these wonderful books you've mentioned. I have looked online and read various articles on about.com that talk about various budgets and frugal living.

As far as the soda goes ... it's a horrible addiction for me and the kids. I really am just going to have to knuckle down and stop buying it.

The FSA info was very helpful, thank you! I always thought that you lost the money if it wasn't claimed or spent on certain items. It seems like it would be very helpful for us, our little ones are still going through the 'shot' stage when they go to the dr.

It seems doable - keeping the house. I just don't want to end up ten years from now in a pickle because we owe more on the house than it's worth

also -
I just want to say THANK YOU. You guys have been very helpful and not at all condescending like I expected. I am so grateful for your help and advice.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by tcrocker

Last year I found out that Charter had been over-billing us for internet modems we did not have, that we had returned.

for TWO YEARS I had been over billed by $80.00.

These comments concern me somewhat. You need to be very sure that you review EVERY bill for EVERY service that you have. And you need to do it EVERY month. You also need to review and balance EVERY bank statement and EVERY credit card statement you receive.

Mistakes happen. It is your responsibility to catch them and get them corrected. The fact that Sprint over billed you by $80.00/month for 2 years without you noticing certainly suggests that you weren't paying adequate attention to your finances. (That's nearly $2,000 over billed, by the way) I think you clearly are in a better place now and paying a lot more attention to things so hopefully stuff like that won't ever happen again.

[anonymous_saver]

One idea about the soda. Don't buy it with groceries. Only allow yourselves to drink it when you are able to go out to eat. That's what I do now. That way, you still have it occasionally, but you don't have it every day. Just a thought anyways.

[maat55]

tcrocker

I highly reccomend The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey also, it will give you a plan to live by. Good luck

[tcrocker]

Yes, I certainly was not very conscious about our bills. I assumed that our cell bill was that much because we had bad credit. When I signed up I paid a deposit and thought the bill would run about $150 a month - due to bad credit. However when I became aware of the money we were spending on bills etc and started to look at every bill .... well it didn't add up right.

Yeah, about $2,000 dollars. I was so upset. But it was my fault for not monitoring our statements more closely. I have not -even still - been looking at our bills monthly as closely as I should. I will have to do that, normally I go over them about every other month or so if they seem out of whack. Sprint and Charter are ones though that I have been keeping a close eye on.

Thank you guys again so much for the guidance and offerings of advice. I really appreciate it all.

[Raven6]

You got excellent advice from everyone on here. I just have one little tidbit to add. If your older kids (I'm not sure how old they are but) are really into grocery brands you could trick them by buying the store brand and putting it into name brand boxes. A friend of mine said her mom used to do this with cereal. They wouldn't eat the cereal like Malt-o-meal but had to have name brand, like Captain Crunch. Her mom would buy Malt-o-meal and dump it into the Captain Crunch box and they thought they were eating name brand cereal. They never knew the difference until they were much older and she finally told them that they were eating the generic brand. As far as your soda addiction goes, you really should try to get away from soda. It's really bad for you as it's nothing but sugar. Maybe you could try switching to the frozen concentrates in the freezer section of the store. They have frozen orange juice, lemonade and some others I think. When we were tight on money that's what I would buy to make for the kids to drink. It was cheap and a little healthier than soda. Good luck

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by tcrocker

I have not -even still - been looking at our bills monthly as closely as I should. I will have to do that, normally I go over them about every other month or so if they seem out of whack.

I would encourage you to check each and every bill regularly. Even little errors add up over time. For example, I've called AT&T a couple of times because there were text message charges on our cell bill. None of us use texting. These were unsolicited spam incoming texts. I see no reason I should have to pay for those. They are only $0.15 each, but it is the principle. They shouldn't be charging me to receive "junk mail". My internet service doesn't charge me for junk e-mail messages. Why should my phone service?

[gladtobeamommy]

I do not have a lot of advice except to say I totally understand how you must be feeling. About 3 years ago my husband woke up and was completely unable to move. He had some back problems was going for PT, seeing a orthopedic and on meds but nothing seemed to help. Long story short he spent a year out of work barely able to move and get around ( there were days I would come home from picking up my ds from school and wonder if my husband might have taken his life because he was in such unbelieveable pain. My husband does not complain ever so I knew this was bad. He had his own business with his brother and his brother basically just ignored bills so things got shut off ( not good when you are running a business) We had no income coming in and in our own supid move gave the business money to keep it a float. I cried day and night. I rememeber vividly one time sitting at my computer desk crying and my dd at the time was not even walking crawled up to my motioned for me to pick her up just so she could wipe my tears with her bare hand. I am not someone who easily spills there guts to friends/family or strangers. The reason I am telling you all this is things will get better you just need to make certain adjustmets. I too thought how could I work when day care will eat up most if not all of my salary. I lucked out and got a job that is extremely flexable. I have always been a very good worker. July I will be here two years and have received 4 increases and a promotion. I leave to pick up my kids from school drop them off at my MIL and have 1 and 1/2 days off during the week. Just keep hope and make yourself available so that you can have more good things come in to your life. Sorry so long.

[tcrocker]

Originally Posted by gladtobeamommy

I do not have a lot of advice except to say I totally understand how you must be feeling. About 3 years ago my husband woke up and was completely unable to move. He had some back problems was going for PT, seeing a orthopedic and on meds but nothing seemed to help. Long story short he spent a year out of work barely able to move and get around ( there were days I would come home from picking up my ds from school and wonder if my husband might have taken his life because he was in such unbelieveable pain. My husband does not complain ever so I knew this was bad. He had his own business with his brother and his brother basically just ignored bills so things got shut off ( not good when you are running a business) We had no income coming in and in our own supid move gave the business money to keep it a float. I cried day and night. I remember vividly one time sitting at my computer desk crying and my dd at the time was not even walking crawled up to my motioned for me to pick her up just so she could wipe my tears with her bare hand. I am not someone who easily spills there guts to friends/family or strangers. The reason I am telling you all this is things will get better you just need to make certain adjustmets. I too thought how could I work when day care will eat up most if not all of my salary. I lucked out and got a job that is extremely flexable. I have always been a very good worker. July I will be here two years and have received 4 increases and a promotion. I leave to pick up my kids from school drop them off at my MIL and have 1 and 1/2 days off during the week. Just keep hope and make yourself available so that you can have more good things come in to your life. Sorry so long.

Thank you so much. It's a great support to hear from other people who have been in a situation similar to my own. That is my new goal for this upcoming month - check ALL our statements line by line to make sure they are correct. I had an interview today and it went GREAT. The HR person wants me to come back tomorrow to meet with the supervisor of the department I'd be working in. Plus, I had another company call me while I was at this interview to schedule a time to come in and meet with them. So...that's a plus. I'm just praying something comes through soon so that we can try and get back on our feet - whether it be in our home or somewhere else. I just want to be able to sleep at night without tossing and turning and waking up at odd hours to look at bills I've already looked at a million times.

Also, I have a question. I've been reading up on the 'envelope' budget. I believe someone mentioned it in this thread. The one problem I have is my husbands paycheck is DD into our bank ... how would I do this budget? We have a cash w/d limit of $500 so I'd have to take money out over like a 3-4 day time period.

Thanks again everyone, I honestly do appreciate it!!!

Tonya

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by tcrocker

We have a cash w/d limit of $500 so I'd have to take money out over like a 3-4 day time period.

Is that just the ATM limit? Couldn't you actually go inside the bank and take out as much as you want?

[maat55]

Some of the plan is still payed by checks. Your mortgage, utilities etc. I personally while doing the budget never used the envelopes. The important thing is to write down your budget and stick to it. Example: Take cash to the grocery store and only the amount allowed, that will make you very observant of your basket.

I'm debt free and still do this.

[safari]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

Is that just the ATM limit? Couldn't you actually go inside the bank and take out as much as you want?

I never understood why people like paying with cash. I withdraw $200 and it lasts a couple months. I only use cash when credit cards are not accepted, to pay for things like parking, etc. I put everything else on a credit card and pay the balance in full every month.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by safari

I never understood why people like paying with cash. I withdraw $200 and it lasts a couple months. I only use cash when credit cards are not accepted, to pay for things like parking, etc. I put everything else on a credit card and pay the balance in full every month.

I'm exactly the same way. About the only time I spend cash is when I go to the casino, and most times I come back with more than I started with, so I don't really even spend it then.

I see no point in using cash and getting nothing in return when I can use a credit card and get reward points and a nice detailed spending record each month plus a year-end summary of charges.

But I recognize that there are people who feel they can't control their spending with a credit card. They do much better living within their means if they deal with actual physical money. If you can't use a credit card responsibly, I'd certainly agree that you shouldn't be using one, despite all the other advantages it offers.

[tcrocker]

The problem is I have a local bank account with Bank of America. My husband had a bad report from a local bank so he can't get a local 'real' bank account. When his work switched to direct deposit he went through accountnow? Unfortunately he couldn't DD his check into my account because his name is not on it.

I really don't know what happened to me. At one point I was so good with money. Up until I was 23 or so I had saved quite a bit of money. Now I act like I have no sense at all when it comes to managing our money and unfortunately I'm the one responsible for it b/c my dh is worse than I am with cash.

I think with the envelope budget I could do okay....I just need to learn discipline.

[Slug]

Originally Posted by anonymous_saver

One idea about the soda. Don't buy it with groceries. Only allow yourselves to drink it when you are able to go out to eat. That's what I do now. That way, you still have it occasionally, but you don't have it every day. Just a thought anyways.

I'd reverse this because there's so much cost inflation when you eat out. I'd buy a 6-pack per kid and say that's your allotment for the month. Enjoy at your leisure.

[maat55]

Originally Posted by tcrocker

I think with the envelope budget I could do okay....I just need to learn discipline.

Discipline, is the most important ingredient to good money managment. Once you get steady with it, it will get easier.