Let's talk allowances for tweens and teens

[disneysteve]

Our DD is 12. For years, she has gotten allowance, but it was only up to $4/week most recently. We all realize that the time has come to raise that amount significantly and make her responsible for more things. She's in middle school now and starting to talk about how the other kids have Ugg boots or shop at Hollister or Abercrombie or PacSun or whatever. So I know she is going to start asking to have things that DW and I consider too expensive. Enter the allowance.

We want to give her enough that she can choose to buy some stuff that we don't feel is worth it, but not so much that she doesn't really have to think about it. We want her to need to save up for anything significant.

She also got into the habit of buying a drink at school for lunch rather than packing a drink. She said the packed drinks didn't stay cold enough. So I want to work that into the allowance too. I don't mind paying half, which is about what the from home drink would cost, but think she should pay the rest.

So I've been trying to come up with a number. I'm thinking $10/week would be a good starting point. We could always adjust it from there.

What do you all do? And what costs are your kids responsible for paying out of their allowance? I don't believe in forced savings or forced charity. I encourage both, but think it should be her decision and DW and I lead by example in those departments.

[simpleyme]

edited as I realized that my response did not really fit with this thread ;-)

[Caoineag]

What exactly do you want the allowance to cover? Does it cover clothing, school supplies and anything else she might need? Or is it just for splurging. I came from a really poor family and my allowance covered everything I needed, not just the wants (which means I didn't have anything for wants until I got my own job; once I had a job, obviously no more allowance).

It is a great way to encourage responsibility with money to have your kid pay their own bills. I learned a lot about pennypinching (which helped me get through college since I paid my own way) and the need to save.

However, I guarantee that you average more than $10 per week on your kid so its sounds more like you want to give her just splurge money. In which case, that should be a good starting point. You can always ramp up to an actual expense allowance later so she gains more responsibility before she is on her own.

Just be careful with that, my Dad was pretty traumatized when I didn't want to waste money on Senior Pictures or a Class Ring (I thought the AP Biology Test was a better investment). You may have to still pay for the things she considers a waste of money if you really want them.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Caoineag

However, I guarantee that you average more than $10 per week on your kid so its sounds more like you want to give her just splurge money. In which case, that should be a good starting point.

That's pretty much the plan right now. I don't want, or think we need, to put her in charge of all of her expenses yet. And I wouldn't even know where to start with that.

[moneybags]

DD13(almost 14) gets $25/month. DS11 gets $15/month. The money is direct deposited into their ING savings accounts (so I don't have to remember to pay them) and is theirs to do whatever they want with. When they want cash out of their account, I am the banker. We don't buy them any video games, CDs, toys, etc. other than b-days & x-mas, so the allowance covers that. For DD it also covers her social outings (non-family) - movies, meals, etc. with her friends. DS doesn't really have these expenses yet. I buy their clothes within reason, but if they want a new shirt, just because, they buy it themselves. DD is now spending $5/month of her allowance for a text plan for her phone. We pay the phone bill, but we didn't think text was necessary (I know the phone is debatable as necessary, but with her being out & about, it is my preference that she have a phone).

On a side note regarding the name-brand thing, starts around 6th grade. I refuse to buy a complete wardrobe of Hollister, American Eagle, etc., but I will buy DD a few pieces. I grew up in a house where it wasn't even an option, so I know how it feels to be the only kid without. Since I can afford it, even though I know it is not practical, I do it. That said, I am always showing DD how to get something on sale, a must, and she is happy with her Target Uggs, $17.99 - she even bragged to her friend with the $150 Uggs about her bargain.

[maat55]

I just turn my head while my wife spoiled them. They turned out to be very good adults anyway. They had to learn to be frugal in college.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

$1 = year of age. That was what was policy for me. But around your daughter's age, I got more. Probably like $80/month. But that was for clothes, going out, etc. It was to teach budgeting, that if I grew chubby or taller, I needed to account for it. Or my feet grew, I had to be careful about my money. I learned buy one pair of shoes because I grew quickly.

For school activities I paid as well, unless it was required. So it was a teaching experience, I had a checking account at 12, and a credit card soon after.

Yes all you debt free CC haters, I had a CC at 13. I never paid finance charges or late fees because my mom explained it all. So I wouldn't say I was completely irresponsible. I knew a CC was not free money. For sure I handled CC more responsibly than ANY other college student I meet, I did not sign up for one credit card in college. I had my one credit card that I used and my mom had cosigned with me, and I used responsibly.

By the way, I am a somewhat irresponsible person so I did lose my CC a few times. But if I had a cash system, I'd have lost all my money. I lost my wallet three times in college. I also lost it about 5 times in the past 8 years since college. So it's a trend with me.

I also started working at 14. My mom did not stop my allowance, my extra money was for more stuff like saving for a car (which I didn't get until 20 after college was done).

So what do you want to get out of the allowance? Have her learn to budget for clothes? For fun? For college?

[kilcher]

I agree with $1 x their age. But... $48 a month for a 12 year old seems like a lot so I'd probably make them put part of it (a third?) into savings. That money would only be available if approved by my wife or I.

[project15]

Starting in 7th grade, we had the option of buying hot lunches at school (normally about $4 per day). My parents gave me and my sister $20 a week each to spend on lunches. If we packed our lunch or bought an inexpensive meal, we got to keep the money. What happened was I always packed or bought something cheap and saved my money. I think that worked out very well for me. It taught me the value of being frugal by buying cheaper lunches, and it taught me the value of saving up for something I wanted to buy.

[aida2003]

Originally Posted by project15

Starting in 7th grade, we had the option of buying hot lunches at school (normally about $4 per day). My parents gave me and my sister $20 a week each to spend on lunches. If we packed our lunch or bought an inexpensive meal, we got to keep the money. What happened was I always packed or bought something cheap and saved my money. I think that worked out very well for me. It taught me the value of being frugal by buying cheaper lunches, and it taught me the value of saving up for something I wanted to buy.

This reminds me how I grew up. I did some extra work for dad and he paid me a bit, but that was more for my savings. However, my sister NEVER had anything saved up. Whatever she got, she spent.

[aida2003]

I'd say it's a steep raise from $4 to $10, just so she doesn't get a wrong idea, that in a year or two, it'll go from $10 to $20/$25 a week. But if your DD is very financially savvy already, maybe she'll understand your plan fast. Otherwise, I'd increase the allowance gradually.

I've read somewhere that when kids want to buy brand name clothing, parents cover partially only (the cost a similar item would cost at Target) and the rest would be the child's responsibility.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by aida2003

I've read somewhere that when kids want to buy brand name clothing, parents cover partially only (the cost a similar item would cost at Target) and the rest would be the child's responsibility.

That's what I'd like to do. If she sees a "must-have" shirt for $25 and we feel a comparable shirt can be gotten for $12, we'll pay that much and she'll pay the rest. We've already done that with other purchases with the allowance she has already gotten.

[PrincessPerky]

Err, didn't you post a while back about your daughter having too much money to waste and buying all kinds of stuff on ebay?

On clothing, some parents do a clothing allowance..they budget X amount for clothes bianually or quarterly, then the kid is responsible for making up the difference..kids with good sale skills will have money left over, kids who want name brand now will have to add their own..I think it is a nice balance between mom and dad supporting clothing, and kid getting whatever clothing they want. (some kids want 2 or 3 name brand, and just do wash a lot..or wear off brand around the house, to keep the name brand nice)

IMO the same concept would work for food...budget X amount for school lunches, let her choose what to do with it. She can buy a full meal a couple times a month, or a drink every other day, or fork over her own loot for whichever/whenever. (though nutrition might enter into that one, at her age she is most likely old enough to make her own decisions on that front)

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by PrincessPerky

Err, didn't you post a while back about your daughter having too much money to waste and buying all kinds of stuff on ebay?

Her money is her money. I might not always agree with how she spends it, but it is hers to spend. I think it is important for her to learn that some purchases aren't worth it and hopefully that'll make her more careful with future purchases. I'd rather have her learn those lessons now when she is 12 than be learning them when she is an adult out on her own.

[aida2003]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

Her money is her money. I might not always agree with how she spends it, but it is hers to spend. I think it is important for her to learn that some purchases aren't worth it and hopefully that'll make her more careful with future purchases. I'd rather have her learn those lessons now when she is 12 than be learning them when she is an adult out on her own.

I've missed the post that your DD has too much money already (I'm a rookie here ). So, I think I'd revise my thoughts a bit. I wouldn't jump to the $10 allowance immediately, only gradually, unless you want her to spend even more on the Ebay.

.....It's not easy with kids, it seems. Some will take lessons to their heart, others will take long time to learn, and some others will never learn .

PS. PrincessPerky: just wanted to say Hi, I'm also Charlottean. Are you also a member on charlottemommies.com?

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by aida2003

I've missed the post that your DD has too much money already

It really isn't a problem anymore. I had forgotten about that thread until she mentioned it. There was a little time there when DD was buying a bunch of things in a short period and then either not being happy with them or deciding she didn't really want what she had gotten. It hasn't happened anymore and I think we worked through that just fine. She learned her lesson and has been noticeably more careful before making a purchase in recent months.

[PrincessPerky]

Originally Posted by aida2003

PS. PrincessPerky: just wanted to say Hi, I'm also Charlottean. Are you also a member on charlottemommies.com?

Hi back! , and no I am pretty much just a member of this forum now...

[NDArmyGrrl]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

She also got into the habit of buying a drink at school for lunch rather than packing a drink. She said the packed drinks didn't stay cold enough. So I want to work that into the allowance too. I don't mind paying half, which is about what the from home drink would cost, but think she should pay the rest.

What is the drink from home? Is it a juice box or something similar that can be frozen then it will slowly thaw at school so it is cold?

I agree with you 100% it is way better for them to learn the lesson at age 12 with $10 or $20 and not have to make the mistake a few times at age 23 with $3000 to learn the lesson.

Dont be afraid to up the allowance, but maybe this is a great time to see if she wants to start investing some of that money (Certificate of Deposit, Savings Bonds, Stock purchase)

[NancyInADaze]

My 16 yr old son gets $80 a month-- this includes outings, junk food with friends, and whatever he saves for. He also earns $40 a month from a job.

I pay for most clothes and school supplies and cell phone.

If he wants a trendy item of clothing, he gets it for birthday or Xmas.

Nancy