Should I pay his evil credit card?

[cptacek]

I am getting married in January, and my fiance and I were talking about the debts we have. We've talked about the farm debts we have (he is buying land, a combine, a tractor, and a pickup, I am buying cows and a pickup) and the house debt we have (he has about $15,000 left on his house, I will sell mine once we get married and I move). I have no credit card debt, but he told me the other day he has $5000 on a credit card at almost 30%

Everything in my body screams for me to pay that off the next time I am at his house. But, I've also told myself that I wouldn't help pay a boyfriend's debt, only once I get married.

So, what should I do? Save up the money, and the day after the wedding send the check off, or pay it now?

[disneysteve]

Why do you need to pay it off? Why isn't he paying his own debts? He must have money if he is buying "land, a combine, a tractor and a pickup." Why not take 5K and get rid of that ridiculous debt? If he can't afford to get rid of the debt, he probably can't afford all that stufff he intends to buy either.

[PrincessPerky]

you interested in the best financial option or what is best for him?

and for him, interested in short term or long term?

Long term he needs to know how not to rack up that debt, short term he needs to be rid of it.

For you, short term, you might want to wait for the proof of commitment from him before you pay, but I don't know you or him, you might be soul mates...or not.

Is he the type to run it up again..is he the type to keep things from you? how often will you be bailing him out?

[cptacek]

Ok, first of all, I made it sound like he is a deadbeat. But he's not. He just recently changed from being a welder (ok paying...at least for the area we are in) to being a full time farmer, and it takes time and equipment to be successful at that. You can't farm without a tractor (used) or a combine (used) or a pickup (used), and the land was a good deal that if he hadn't bought at the time he would have lost the opportunity to buy it forever. He was banking on the wheat crop coming in at least average this year, but the freeze over Easter knocked the bushels back by at least half. Farming is risky, I know this because I am from a farm background, and some years it is going to be a hard pull. I agree that he should have held money back to not run it up. But he didn't.

I am trying to prepare myself to start thinking like a partner instead of just thinking about myself. When we are married, all of his debts and all of my debts will be combined into our debts, in my mind. His income and my income will be combined into our income. And we'll decide together how that money will be spent. So, Princess Perky, your questions are the ones that I am wrestling with the most. Especially "For you, short term, you might want to wait for the proof of commitment from him before you pay, but I don't know you or him, you might be soul mates...or not." That is what I am thinking about the most.

[disneysteve]

In that case, if you've got the money free now, go ahead and pay off the debt. Why pay 7 more months of 30% interest?

[poundwise]

My first thought was that you should not pay it until you are husband and wife, however, after reading your post, I believe it really is entirely up to how you feel about it.

If you can pay it off and be happy that you've done so, then do it. Just make sure you (a) won't hold that over him going forward, (b) don't think this fixes a problem, if he is not wise with credit and money, (c) are willing to let it go in the event that the wedding is called off for some reason by either you or him.

Sounds dreadful huh? Sorry. Didn't mean to be a downer. In a nutshell, if you'll be happy for doing it, and can afford to do it, then go ahead and pay it.

[rblvstl]

There are two ways to look at this. You can either pay it off now or later. I think it depends on when you are getting married. Can he put off buying one of the pieces of equipment until the debt is settled. If he has the money to buy a tractor then he has the money to pay this off.
Then once you are married you can pool your money together and get a better tractor or whatever.
It is only one bill and I would not put the weight of the world on it. Things happen, just let it be a learning experience for him as well as for you.

[Like2Plan]

Originally Posted by cptacek

I am getting married in January, and my fiance and I were talking about the debts we have. We've talked about the farm debts we have (he is buying land, a combine, a tractor, and a pickup, I am buying cows and a pickup) and the house debt we have (he has about $15,000 left on his house, I will sell mine once we get married and I move). I have no credit card debt, but he told me the other day he has $5000 on a credit card at almost 30%

Everything in my body screams for me to pay that off the next time I am at his house. But, I've also told myself that I wouldn't help pay a boyfriend's debt, only once I get married.

So, what should I do? Save up the money, and the day after the wedding send the check off, or pay it now?

cptacek,
What are you all doing for operating expenses? Do you have a line of credit? Is he using CC's for his upfront costs?

[cptacek]

He has a line of credit for operating expenses, and that is the first thing he paid off with the extra money from the wheat (you know, after he bought my engagement ring )

I don't exactly have a line of credit with my banker, but if I need money for my operation, I just call the banker up, explain the plan, and the money is deposited in my account before I even sign the papers.

Part of the problem is that he does a lot of work for his dad and doesn't get paid for it. That is another problem in itself, and both he and I agree that needs to stop, but since he has been doing it for his whole life (he's 32) he thinks can't just stop doing it. So, we are going to bring that up gradually, so as not to cause a family fight.

[asmom]

For certain, I wouldn' even entertain the thought of paying it off until after the marriage.

Has he asked you to pay the debt? I understand your desire to "think like a partner" but often "partners" may be on different pages.

Personally I think it's a bad idea to pool money and debts but I recognize that what works for some does not work for others.

[Like2Plan]

cptacek,

I would think 5K is a drop in the bucket compared to the overall operating costs. I would be more concerned about what type of expense caused your fiance to use the CC. If you don't plug up that hole, it will be a continuing cycle and you will just be paying it off to have it charged right back up again. You all should talk about that aspect.

[Ima saver]

Could he move the debt over to a new card; one that is offering 0% interest for a while. I get 5 offers like that every week.

[Scanner]

I know the interest rate is outrageous but personally, it's only 7 months - I'd let it ride until you were married.

I'm going to give you some advice even if you arent' asking. I am a small busines person and being married to one is very hard. The line of credit he has and the one I had (down to $8000 balance - yah!!!) has been a source of marital discord for years.

This is something to consider before getting married.

It's not that you or he or me or my DW are bad people. I am very risk-philic (which is why KV scratches his head on my silver allocation ) and my wife is risk-phobic. Like somebody said, this c/c is a drop in the bucket to the risks it sounds like your fiancee may be taking and the lifestyle he is electing for. He after all, has an open line of credit.

I am not from a farming background but I have heard talking to a farmer is kind of like this:

"2001? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2002? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2003? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2004? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2005? Oh boy, let me tell you. . .THAT was a good year!!!"

Translation - 4 years of loss and 1 year of major profit.

I know the hormones are raging now and it seems secondary. . .you're in love. . .but your fiancee being a man, will tend to really put his blood, sweat, and tears into this and make it work, damn the risks.

As he get's older, he may mediate his risks and adopt a little wisdom and perspective (as I did).

Anyway, it sounds like you two have a lot to talk about.

[anonymous_saver]

I would personally not pay this debt for him.

The only suggestion I have is that he should look at 0% balance transfer offers.

[boefixepa]

Would it be possible to use 5K from his line of credit to pay off the CC with the horrible interest rate.....the debt would just move, but at least it would solves your woes and give you time to see what the bigger picture will be.

[Fern]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

Why do you need to pay it off? Why isn't he paying his own debts? He must have money if he is buying "land, a combine, a tractor and a pickup." Why not take 5K and get rid of that ridiculous debt? If he can't afford to get rid of the debt, he probably can't afford all that stufff he intends to buy either.

I couldn't say it any better.

[jamai]

since you plan to be a family unit, you should, and maybe you need to teach him about money management, why did he accept such a credit card?

[sakigt]

1) Pay off debt
2) Save money
3) Switch careers

not...

1) Switch careers
2) Pay off debt eventually
3) Drive wife crazy

I would suggest you guys put the farm idea on hold until you can pay off non-business related debt, and possibly have a little emergency fund set up as well.

[DebbieL]

I wouldn't pay off that debt for anyone, even my dh. We keep our debts separate if we have any. I think you will really come to resent paying that debt someday, especially if he racks it back up again (which I suspect he will). I would probably like to see him get rid of that debt before I would marry him.

[cptacek]

Originally Posted by asmom

Has he asked you to pay the debt?

No, he didn't ask me to pay it off. We were just talking about the debts we have, and that one seems like the one that needs to go first.