Should I pay his evil credit card?

[cptacek]

Originally Posted by Like2Plan

cptacek,

I would think 5K is a drop in the bucket compared to the overall operating costs. I would be more concerned about what type of expense caused your fiance to use the CC. If you don't plug up that hole, it will be a continuing cycle and you will just be paying it off to have it charged right back up again. You all should talk about that aspect.

I think you are right. We do need to talk about that.

Actually, I think he is more frugal than I am when it comes to spending money on personal things. I like to eat out and go places, while he is completely content to stay home and watch tv. Part of this may be my fault, we joke that i'm high falutin and high maintenance cause I like to go to semi-expensive places, and he doesn't like me to pay for it all the time.

[cptacek]

Originally Posted by Scanner

I know the interest rate is outrageous but personally, it's only 7 months - I'd let it ride until you were married.

I'm going to give you some advice even if you arent' asking. I am a small busines person and being married to one is very hard. The line of credit he has and the one I had (down to $8000 balance - yah!!!) has been a source of marital discord for years.

This is something to consider before getting married.

It's not that you or he or me or my DW are bad people. I am very risk-philic (which is why KV scratches his head on my silver allocation ) and my wife is risk-phobic. Like somebody said, this c/c is a drop in the bucket to the risks it sounds like your fiancee may be taking and the lifestyle he is electing for. He after all, has an open line of credit.

I am not from a farming background but I have heard talking to a farmer is kind of like this:

"2001? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2002? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2003? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2004? Ewwww. That was a bad year. 2005? Oh boy, let me tell you. . .THAT was a good year!!!"

Translation - 4 years of loss and 1 year of major profit.

I know the hormones are raging now and it seems secondary. . .you're in love. . .but your fiancee being a man, will tend to really put his blood, sweat, and tears into this and make it work, damn the risks.

As he get's older, he may mediate his risks and adopt a little wisdom and perspective (as I did).

Anyway, it sounds like you two have a lot to talk about.

I have heard that most fights in a marriage are about money. I don't want to fight about money, I want to work together to overcome any issues we have about money, or the lack of money. I mean, isn't that what the engagement period is for, to start talking more seriously about these things, the things you really didn't talk about when you were just dating?

You are completely right about the risks and potential rewards of farming. We have been talking about how we can get more diversified (different crops, us having the cows instead of losing 1/3 of the profits to my dad, cause he does all the work, maybe getting a skid loader to chop trees out of CRP land, getting more custom planting or harvest work, etc.) so that one crop failure won't ruin everying for us.

Geez, everybody, he isn't a bad person. He is a very caring person, always looking out for others before himself. One time he and a partner were welding for a big feedlot, and the feedlot all of a sudden filed for bankruptcy. They owed them both about $16,000 and they got paid about $8000. He let the other guy have most of the money because the other guy had a wife and a kid, and he didn't. Yes, that was a bad money decision, but that was a very unselfish decision. I am sure other unselfish, bad money decisions have contributed to that $5000 debt.

[cptacek]

Originally Posted by jamai

since you plan to be a family unit, you should, and maybe you need to teach him about money management, why did he accept such a credit card?

All in good time.

Actually, he didn't accept a credit card like that...he had a few missed payments and the interest rate went up to that high.

[dreamweaver]

You said you were buying cows and a pickup. Do you have your OWN line of credit at the bank? Or is your father on it too. The reason I ask is that in my experience, banks wanted my to list EVERYTHING when I wanted to get a note for my sheep. They wanted to lein it all. I can't tell you how many people in my area lost land over these kinds of lending practices. That would make me want to use what looks like a problem to your advantage. Pay off that card in 6 months worth of payments after you are married. Make sure the card reflects your married status. It will help you both establish "real credit". You then need to get a better rate credit card and use it for small things that you can pay off at the end of the month. Your most powerful tool is your credit. It is VERY difficult to farm or ranch. Good luck.

[RideTheSpiral]

I would pay it off as soon as possible if there is money. Interest kills.

[cptacek]

Oh, yes, dreamweaver, when I first started out after college, I got the cattle loan with my father, but when I got the second loan to buy the second batch of cows, I got it in my name only. Yeah, I know about the leins on the whole herd as well...the banker said it was because people would say "these were the bank's, but they all died." But, the banker now offers me lower interest rates than what he gives everybody else because I've proven I am no-to-low risk.

I have great credit. I betcha he doesn't. I wonder what that will do to my credit when we get loans in both of our names? Bring mine down and his up? I guess a string of online payments will have to bring both of ours up again.

"Your most powerful tool is your credit." That is unbelievably true with farming or ranching. I think that is why he is current on the land, equipment, and operating expenses, but let this one slide, because Visa, or whoever it is, can't shut down your operation and take all you own.

[dreamweaver]

NO.....they can't. But remember the old joke about farming till its gone??? Don't do that. There is a reason people don't own their own combines. You have to have a ton of land to make that work. So, roll up your sleeves.

Old joke #2....never have more sheep than your wife can handle. HA HA HA.

[PrincessPerky]

I don't think he is a bad fellow, most people with CC debt aren't bad...just many bad with money..

I can't imagine farming all the risks and such really would drive me crazy. I think it is wonderful you are talking about diversification and such...I prolly wouldn't pay the CC till after the marriage, but I would go right ahead and start talking about financial decisions together....and make sure that thing gets paid each month on time...My husband had a bad habit of losing bills..err so did I . Anyway we worked that out before we paid them all off...Not that I had the amount to do it right off the bat.

People in debt aren't all bad, my husband brought debt into the marriage and we are fine now, no more CC debt, being with him for the rest of my life was worth the risk of marrying a financially non perfect fellow. (and like I said I wasn't such a great catch either...I like fine dining too .)

[Daniel_Shop]

you are a grown up woman so if you feel paying off debt is the path to follow then go for it.

It depends only on you both. Most people in the forum is Big City's citizens so rules are different there.

My fiancee inherited a House and I did spend $13.000 to fix it up until now, and I'm saving another 5k to end up fixing it. We get marry on January as well

My parents advised me to not do so but I did it anyway because I have no doubt in my heart. Finally everyone understood that... Linda and Me feel like we are already married.

[myself]

Originally Posted by cptacek

I have heard that most fights in a marriage are about money. I don't want to fight about money, I want to work together to overcome any issues we have about money, or the lack of money. I mean, isn't that what the engagement period is for, to start talking more seriously about these things, the things you really didn't talk about when you were just dating?

Actually, I would say that the time to talk about finances is even before the engagement. But that's probably a personal preference.
My wife and I did that. We talked about finances for several years before we got engaged. As a matter of fact, I declared bankruptcy (no, I'm not proud of that fact,) about 5 months into our relationship. And I told her everything about my finances from that point forward.
My wonderful wife now works at home with our 4 children, and keeping up with the housework. After all, kids are quite a chore!

Personally I would suggest that you and your fiance do the same thing. He gets every single financial thing on the table, and so do you.


My hat is off to both of you. Farming is a very time consuming (dare I say life-changing) decision. I only know that from what I see driving around in the area that I live, wherein the farmers are up at the crack of dawn, and going to bed a little while after dinner.

And BTW, credit cards themselves are not evil, improper use of them is just a pain in the rear!

[cptacek]

Thank you for the compliment. Farming will be very time consuming, but that is what he loves, and I enjoy it too, so that is the path we'll go down. I think I'll hold off on paying that for now. It is only 6 months away.

And, I asked him this week to start writing stuff down about how much stuff costs, like typical fertilizer expenses, equipment expenses, when the land taxes are due, etc. and he said that was a great idea. He has it in his head, but that doesn't help me out.

[Exile]

After you're married, any debts that either one of you incur may become the joint liabilty of the other party, depending on whether you live in a community property state. But as for debts that you or your intended took on before before you get hitched, you really shouldn't feel obligated to pay.