Going out to dinner with Friends - Page 4

Ima saver · #61 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 02:16 PM

I was a waitress too and we always gave separate checks!

DebbieL · #62 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 02:24 PM

It works out much better for the server that way! I cannot understand why some people have received flak about this from the servers - they must not realise how much more money they would get with separate checks (and yes, I'm afraid this was really without exception). I cannot think of a time when I didn't get cheaped out on the tip in one of these big group situations when there was only 1 check.

I'm no longer a server (for years now), but I still tip well. I remember what it was like.

LivingAlmostLarge · #63 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 02:47 PM

I waited tables in college and preferred giving separate checks because where i worked didn't do the automatic 18% thing. So it was better to split the check and get a bigger tip.

cschin4 · #64 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 03:02 PM

Good points! It seems that the only people who really make this an "issue" are often the freeloaders who want a cheap meal!

disneysteve · #65 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DebbieL

I used to HATE it when a group of people would all be on the same bill. Almost without fail there is at least one cheapskate that just puts in next to nothing, so the others may have thought that they were leaving plenty to cover their meal and tip, but in reality the "tip" they left me has to go towards covering the cost of some freeloader.

That's part of why splitting the bill evenly works well. Everyone would put in the same amount, so the server wouldn't get cheated.

disneysteve · #66 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cschin4

It seems that the only people who really make this an "issue" are often the freeloaders who want a cheap meal!

I'm sorry that this has been your experience, but it most certainly has not been mine. At no time have I ever been a "freeloader" who was trying to get a cheap meal. In fact, I tend to be the one overpaying since I tend to eat lighter and I don't eat red meat, so I'm never the one with the filet mignon dinner. I also don't drink wine, so when the cost of a bottle or two is included in the tab, I'm paying for part of it. I don't know about anyone else, but I've split tabs anywhere from diners where the entire bill was under $50 to 5 star restaurants where the bill approached $1,000 for our table. I've never heard anyone complain.

If you don't want to split the bill, that's perfectly fine, but please don't make assumptions or insult those who do.

cschin4 · #67 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 03:14 PM

Uh, huh, so you buy a cheaper meal and are expected to pay more?

disneysteve · #68 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cschin4

Uh, huh, so you buy a cheaper meal and are expected to pay more?

Yes, sometimes it works out that way.

cschin4 · #69 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 03:15 PM

I am not insulting anyone. The implication was that those who want their own bill are "anal", annoying because they pull out their "calculators", etc. I guess I really don't see what the big deal is about a person getting their own bill.

cschin4 · #70 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 03:16 PM

Anyway, I think we have beat this issue into the ground!

lrjohnson · #71 (**permalink**) 01-18-2007, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pearlieq

Frankly, to me, few things are more unattractive than people who are obessesed with paying exactly their fair share down to the penny. I understand that finances get tight, but I prefer people who are flexible, generous, and easygoing. Dickering over pennies strikes me as the antithesis of that.

We had friends who used to whip out a calculator when the bill came. Needless to say we don't share meals with them anymore! What a buzzkill!

I totally agree with the essence of what you said. I'll often get much cheaper items myself, and I'm always the no-alcohol gal, but I'll often spring for an appetizer for the table.

I do just want to stick in here, though, that I've seen calculators pulled out in a casual, use-as-a-quick tool, inconspicuous way. One of my friends just isn't good at off the cuff adding. She pulls out a little calcualtor, quietly calculates, and puts it away. She rounds up on what is hers and tips generously.

I prefer separate checks. If not possible, I prefer that I pay "my share", rounding up and tipping generously. And while I don't like obsessive "how many of us actually at the appetizer" nonsense, I'm okay with someone who needs math help (calculator).

BCHGRL · #72 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 07:28 AM

Heck, my problem with coworkers is that they always want to pay for my lunch. What usually happens is that they will ask me to lunch. I never carry cash or checks, and they always want to go to a place that doesn't accept ccs or dcs. I tell them upfront that I don't have any cash, but they don't care and tell me that they will pay. I end up trying to pay them back later and they won't take it. One of my coworkers just took my bill the other day and paid it before I knew the waitress brought it to the table. They must not mind because they know I never carry cash and they always invite me to those places. I only go about once or twice a month though.

I guess I'm lucky when it comes to coworkers.

cschin4 · #73 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 07:40 AM

If you know you are going out regularly, then why not just keep some cash in your car for these times? It is nice that your friends pay for you but don't forget to return the favor once and awhile.

disneysteve · #74 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCHGRL

they always want to go to a place that doesn't accept ccs or dcs.

Where do you find restaurants that don't accept credit cards? Heck, even McDonald's takes them.

project15 · #75 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 11:43 AM

Ugh...My wife and I just went out last night and dropped $90!! to do the "group pay" thing for a friend's birthday dinner. What do you do in a situation like that? Just not go to the birthday dinner? Tell your friends to stop ordering wine? When the bill came I was feeling my jaw drop, but tried not to show that to the friends.

Aleta · #76 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 11:56 AM

Do you mean that your total was $90? How many people were contributing? Frankly, I can understand one bottle of wine for the occasion but anything after that should be shared by the consumers. Sometimes you just have to come out and tell people how you feel.

How about hosting a small group party at your home with the same people contributing some of the menu and a bring your own bottle thing. If you don't drink , don't buy the drinks unless you want to buy something for the birthday couple. I had a friend that bought a wine gift bag and presented it to the birthday person for his gift to them.

We all know that buying drinks in a restaurant is big profit. Maybe some of the people in your group would not like to do this as well. You'd be surprised of how many people I hear complaining about these dinners. So, you might be the first one to opt out. Find a good excuse. Say that this year you have a resolution and that you're saving for something or whatever and don't care about what the others say.

tinapbeana · #77 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by project15

Ugh...My wife and I just went out last night and dropped $90!! to do the "group pay" thing for a friend's birthday dinner. What do you do in a situation like that? Just not go to the birthday dinner? Tell your friends to stop ordering wine? When the bill came I was feeling my jaw drop, but tried not to show that to the friends.

if it were me in this situation, i'd tell the waiter/waitress up front that you would like a separate check for just you, your wife, and the birthday person. sounds like you would still come out ahead bill-wise, and if other folks want to chip in on the birthday dinner they can fork some cash over to you!

other option: bill alcohol separately as it really adds up!

disneysteve · #78 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aleta

Do you mean that your total was $90? How many people were contributing?

The number of people contributing doesn't really matter if everyone paid an equal share. Or were you just curious what the total bill was?

disneysteve · #79 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by project15

What do you do in a situation like that? Just not go to the birthday dinner? Tell your friends to stop ordering wine?.

If I felt the share assigned to me was really out of line, I'd say so. "Excuse me, but doesn't that bill include "X" bottles of wine? My wife and I didn't have any of it. It isn't really fair to make us pay for it."

Aleta · #80 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 12:07 PM

To DisneySteve: I wasn't really curious about the bill. I just thought that $90. was a lot for a contribution. We have gone out to dinners like that where we were celebrating an engagement for our son and there were 6 of us and we dined in a very exclusive place in Orlando and our bill was nothing like that and we had entertainment as well. That's why I wanted to know how many people were contributing. I don't really care about how much the bill was, that's irrelavant.