Going out to dinner with Friends - Page 2

cschin4 · #21 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 01:44 PM

How does it even out in the end? Drinkers always have a much larger bill. And, why would anyone care if someone had a separate check? Those who always pay their fair share would have no problem with it. It is the ones who don't that will squawk the loudest about it. We eat out with another couple all the time. We always get separate bills unless one of us decides to "treat" the other which is usually a birthday. Otherwise, they can get their own bill and tip on their own bill as well.

cschin4 · #22 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 01:45 PM

If it "works out over time", then why not just work it out now?

poundwise · #23 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 01:54 PM

I guess I just don't see the point in splitting the check.

Is this supposed to be easier than having separate checks? Does Ms. Manners say its the way more civilized people handle it? Are we trying to make things easier for the wait staff?

Why not have separate checks? That just makes more sense to me. Order what you want, pay for it. Others order what they want, they pay for it. No one gets the short-end, no one is concerned about ordering too much either, no bar tab, no calculations, no collecting money.

Separate checks please.

safari · #24 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 01:56 PM

If there are only a few people at the table and somebody only had a salad, while another person had a full meal, then each person pays separately. However, when we have a big group of people, which is usually the case, then it's much easier to split the bill equally. I may pay a few extra dollars, but it doesn't matter. My friends feel the same way.

cschin4 · #25 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 01:59 PM

Yeah, I think it is pretty simple.

LivingAlmostLarge · #26 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 02:26 PM

A lot of places won't do separete checks with large groups, they want your 18% tip. They also hate the bother of diving it up. I've asked before and gotten really weird looks. I've also decided when I go out with a large group (usually coworkers) and I know they are going to split the bill, I'll order something expensive i normally wouldn't eat. I'm a lunchtime burger person, but I'll order an entree because I know I always get the shaft.

Friends, well I find it easier to just be honest. But being that honest with coworkers doesn't happen. Seems like everyone likes to be rich, not in debt and have fabulous lives. I don't have the quality of life unfortunately.

poundwise · #27 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by safari

...it's much easier to split the bill equally.

I just don't understand/agree with this statement.

Mind you, if you and your friends want to split it, then by all means do it. If you have a system that works and no one minds, again, do it.

But its not that it is more logical, or easier, to split a check than it is to have separate checks. It is just a preference.

And, referring back to original question, if I am not comfortable with an 'usual arrangement' then I wouldn't feel bad about asking for a separate check. There is nothing wrong with it in the least.

As for "large groups," I thought we were talking about lunch with co-workers, appetizers with friends, couples going out, etc. not taking the ball team or the whole office floor.

Broken Arrow · #28 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poundwise

Why not have separate checks? That just makes more sense to me. Order what you want, pay for it. Others order what they want, they pay for it. No one gets the short-end, no one is concerned about ordering too much either, no bar tab, no calculations, no collecting money.

Separate checks please.

Right! Roar!

disneysteve · #29 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poundwise

As for "large groups," I thought we were talking about lunch with co-workers, appetizers with friends, couples going out, etc. not taking the ball team or the whole office floor.

Around here, most restaurants automatically add the tip for groups of 6 or more. That would easily cover lunch with co-workers or dinner with friends.

tinapbeana · #30 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 02:43 PM

restaurant we go to itemizes the bill by seat (including tax!), and includes a sum for the table at the bottom b/c that is the ingenious design of their software. that way, you can just pay your own, yours and a friend's, contribute to the total, whatever is agreed upon.

i wish all restaurants did this!!!

safari · #31 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poundwise

I just don't understand/agree with this statement.

Mind you, if you and your friends want to split it, then by all means do it. If you have a system that works and no one minds, again, do it.

But its not that it is more logical, or easier, to split a check than it is to have separate checks. It is just a preference.

And, referring back to original question, if I am not comfortable with an 'usual arrangement' then I wouldn't feel bad about asking for a separate check. There is nothing wrong with it in the least.

As for "large groups," I thought we were talking about lunch with co-workers, appetizers with friends, couples going out, etc. not taking the ball team or the whole office floor.

Many restaurants won't give you more than two checks per table. So if you're having a lunch with several coworkers, it's easier to get a single check and then split it. In addition, as Steve already mentioned, if you have more than 6 people in your party, they won't let you get separate checks and will automatically add the tips (18%-20%).

boefixepa · #32 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 02:59 PM

My bosses wife gets SOOOO mad when they add the tip! They are great tippers and when they do that, that is exactly what they get. She makes sure....with feeling...that they know she does NOT appreciate them adding the tip and that they would have recieved more had they NOT added it on to the bill. You have to understand my boss' wife to get the real 'feel' of this.

They always argue that it's on the menu or 'store policy' and she flat out tells them she doesn't care, who are they to judge what kind of service she receives. It's all rather funny in my view. -- to watch her to this that is.

cschin4 · #33 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:04 PM

I really don't care if the restaurant wants to give separate checks or not. They can either accomodate my request or I will get up and leave. Usually asking to see the manager suddlenly makes the "separate check" request OK.

disneysteve · #34 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cschin4

How does it even out in the end? Drinkers always have a much larger bill.

That's true, but I don't go out with that kind of crowd. If there is alcohol, it would be a bottle of wine that is shared by multiple people, so splitting the bill is fair there.

cschin4 · #35 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:09 PM

If so, then what is the problem with separate bills?

disneysteve · #36 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cschin4

If so, then what is the problem with separate bills?

I'm not sure who this was directed at, or if it was just a general question.

For us, separate bills just aren't necessary. As I said, if there is wine, it is shared by several people, so billing it to just one person wouldn't make sense. And we often pass around appetizers, and sometimes even desserts, so again, not splitting the costs evenly wouldn't be fair. If there are 6 people, for example, and we order 3 appetizers for the table to share, everyone needs to pay a portion of that bill. Having 3 people pay and 3 people not pay wouldn't be right.

vsjhoc · #37 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:33 PM

I agree w/Steve's approach. Unless I ordered the pasta and someone else had lobster, I'm usually happy to split it evenly. Nothing ruins a nice meal faster than quibbling over who has to pay $2 more.

cschin4 · #38 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:34 PM

Obviously, you have worked out an arrangement that is suitable for you and your friends. However, I think it is quite presumptuous for lesser acquaintances to assume that you want to split the bill with them.

cschin4 · #39 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:38 PM

vs - Maybe it is just me. But, I recall being going out to dinner with some friends when I was a starving grad student. I really just didn't think twice about it. But, then everyone else decided to "tie one on" and I was stuck with my portion of the bill which was close to $100 when I had only had one small meal. Sorry, but I just find that very annoying.
In addition, we have a couple of friends who are poor tippers. I used to tip on their portion, but no more. They can get their own bill and if they chose to tip or not that is up to them. I concern myself with my own bill.
And, nothing ruins my meal faster than eating out while others think they are getting a free ride and aren't paying for what they actually ate and drank.

disneysteve · #40 (**permalink**) 01-16-2007, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cschin4

Maybe it is just me. But, I recall being going out to dinner with some friends when I was a starving grad student. I really just didn't think twice about it. But, then everyone else decided to "tie one on" and I was stuck with my portion of the bill which was close to $100 when I had only had one small meal.

I think we'd all agree that in a situation like that, splitting isn't appropriate. I've gone out sometimes and just wasn't hungry - went to be sociable. I got a salad or just an appetizer while everyone else got a full course meal. I tossed in $5 or so and everyone else split the remainder and everyone was fine with that. Nobody expected me to pay a full share of the bill.