Same Old Story II

[Mathew Green]

Originally Posted by timetosave

Hello all. Just wanted to let all of you know, with cutting back drastically (daughter and myself) on spending, by paying for everything with cash for the past what...3-4 weeks, I have managed to start my emergency fund.

Good for you!

Having an emergency fund is especially important when creditors have judgements against your wages because you have less control of your income and probably won't be able to borrow anywhere if you come up short.

I agree also with the posters who advised you to get a new checking account, preferably at a different bank. Most banks have a free checking account with no minimum balance required, but you have to ask about it.

Once your creditors have your checking account info, or even a check drawn on your checking account, there is always a chance they will do an unauthorized electronic withdrawal, and there's no way to take the account information back once you've given it to them, so I'd consider your current account permanently contaminated. Best to start using that account for your debt payments only and have a totally seperate account for your regular finances.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by timetosave

Hello all. Just wanted to let all of you know, with cutting back drastically (daughter and myself) on spending, by paying for everything with cash for the past what...3-4 weeks, I have managed to start my emergency fund.

I deposited 250.00 (can't believe I had that left) into my Credit Union for now

I'm sleeping so much better at night.

That's terrific!! Sleep well.

[LuxLiving]

Originally Posted by timetosave

Again, I will post as things change (and they are rapidly). Thank you all so much for your help. I'm sleeping so much better at night.

TA-DA!!! You're doing it!! YEAH YOU!!! Atta girl!!

[LuxLiving]

Okay - time to check in on you again Time To Save - have been wondering how it's going?? Curious minds want to know!

[timetosave]

Hi Lux.

Well, just as I think I'm getting ahead the garnishment went into effect. 10% of my gross...OMG THIS IS GOING TO HURT QUITE A BIT. I did not realize how badly this was going to affect my bottom line until today.

So, I've had a couple of things pop up - no emergency account remember - that were not anticipated and so I'm working through those. Which has put my car payment behind again...that is I'm still 3 payments behind instead of being caught up like I wanted to be by now.

The student loan is on deferrment until January so I have a little breathing room there.

I am figuring out this is all about being organized. More so than anything else. I am understanding how important a budget is to this process (which I still don't have) and am trying to find a loan company to give me a loan so I can get these judgements paid, I can't afford another judgement to take any more of my pay...if that happens I'm dead in the water. I won't be able to cover my debts and might as well give up...I really mean that.

I'm honestly not even thinking about getting out of debt now. I am in survival mode again. It really felt good to have that month or so of really feeling like I had control of all of this but I realize I don't. I'm drowning. I've been able to resist the payday loans but at this point even those are looking better and better. My biggest fear is the holidays. There is no way my kids are having Christmas this year, I just can't afford it. I might do the payday loan around that time if that is still the only thing I can do. The garnishment took a lot out of my pay. I'm sound sad today because this just happened Thursday. I know I will get great feedback and suggestions here, I will process it, put it into action and feel better, but right now I'm scared again...feeling like I just have no power over this.

I am looking into doing medical transcription, this is something I can do out of my house. I really need a second job right now and have been searching for one but have not found anything yet. If I can get something between now and Christmas I should be ok. I'm working on what the 1st of the year is going to bring (in the way of changes) but right now I'm just trying to get through the end of this year

[tinapbeana]

hi timetosave. just saw this thread and read through it, and i wanted to let you know i've been where you are and it is so hard. first and foremost, though, i gotta say don't get back into the payday/cashadvance cycle. before my husband & i were married he was carrying 2-3 of those, and would take the money from one to pay off another. it was horrible.

2nd: i understand worrying about the holidays, but my suggestion is to talk to your DD. how old is she? would you feel comfortable talking to her about the situation (or part of it), and maybe agreeing to something like "Christmas in June"? hey, she'd even get 2 christmas's next year!

making extra money. well, it's never fun, and it's never fashionable, but there are ways. i myself cleared my house of a bunch of junk and went to the flea market for about 4 weekends. brought in almost a grand total. another thing to consider is getting a PT job at a store you frequent, which may allow you to get an employee discount on things you already buy (i.e. groceries).

[timetosave]

Hi, I've never done a payday loan. I'm considering it because I can't find a loan for bad credit. They seem to be the only people out there willing to loan people like me money (I don't blame the others but I finally get it and can't seem to get help)...I'm not playing the victim, I know I put myself here.

No, not having Christmas is not an option. Even if I just have a couple of gifts is better than none, but at this rate I won't be able to do it without a loan. I won't make my kids suffer because I've been stupid. I am in the process of applying for manufacturing jobs, something second shift, the only problem I have with this is I'm afraid of my husband...well getting fed up and abusing my kids because I'm gone from 7am until 12AM (he can be terrible to the kids sometimes and always blames it on my not being home anymore )...but I really have to get this financial stuff done and over with and can't do it without either a loan or a second job. I can't find a loan so I'm opting for the second job.

[Diolla]

Have you considered registering with the Christmas Bureau? I had to do that on year and DS got tons of nice things and there was food everywhere. Hubby wasn't happy with me because he was embarrassed but it certainly saved Christmas that year.

[timetosave]

I would be willing to do that...what is it? Do I sign up online? I would be more ashamed if my dd and ds did not have Christmas. Thanks for the suggestion...but I still have to get a second job, that is not the only reason I'm doing that

G

[Ima saver]

is your daughter still taking horseback riding lessons?

[timetosave]

Yes, she still rides...before you go where I think you are going, I will not make my children suffer because I've made bad decisions. You are talking about 35.00 not a fortune...that won't even make a dent in what I'm talking about.

She won't be skiing this year because I just can't afford it...that's enough. Thanks for the input though.

G

[piggybank4]

Timetosave: I know you have mentioned a few things about yourself, but if you don't mind sharing with the rest of us here (maybe it could help others?), how did you get into so much debt?

Do you suppose it's the whole "do what everyone else does", as in buying things, shopping, etc? I'm guessing that you aren't any more materialistic than those around you, but perhaps for whatever reason those around you have more income, so they didn't end up in debt.

Like the Christmas presents you mentioned -- you probably will be spending less than many people around you, but you still might be following the herd a bit too much, especially if you are considering a payday loan to buy them gifts. You'll find that kids don't need much (in the way of things) to be happy.

In fact, your goal should be to spend some time with your kids, not buy them stuff. (Don't get me wrong, I know you're doing your best) but I've known a lot of families, and having mom and dad around, and having both parents love them, is 100X more important than any "extras" like lessons, Christmas gifts, and many other things people ASSUME they need.

Let's face it, the "U.S. Personal Revolving Credit Debt: " at the top of this page is always CLIMBING (did you notice that?) and there has to be a reason for it. The American culture (materalism, spend, spend spend) must be to blame -- and it's in the air we breathe. So even good people get infected by it to some degree.

I hope you understand what I'm getting at -- please don't take offense.

I'm basically saying that perhaps you could open your mind to a whole new way of living -- more simple, different from everybody else, give up on "keeping up with the Joneses", etc.

And I would try to live cheaper/simpler until you are able to stay home with your kids. You might never get to that point, but that is a goal to be strongly desired.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[timetosave]

Piggybank thank you for your thoughts and I certainly hope someone else reading them might get something out of it. I spent the last six years at home with my children...I acquired much of my debt then but the majority of it came (judgments) from selling things on Ebay and getting paid with bad checks...the banks came after me...

Quite a bit of my debt was acquired when I was much younger. I've never really cared about credit until recently...my world is built around my children, going back to work was out of necessity not because I wanted to and with the way my dh does things I will never be able to stay at home again, I'm fine with that...I gave at the office. But what time I have off I spend 100% of with my children, but thanks so much for the parenting advise (did not realize that is why I'm here, but thanks anyways).

That said. I'm sure there have been times that my purchases were excessive, but not to 'keep up with anybody' nor were my purchases to compete with anybody. Everything I've purchased for my children were well thought out and things they either wanted or needed...but again, thank for that input also.

I'm not sure how to respond to your post...not sure if it is a slap in the face (I think I do that to myself well enough) or not...I don't see anything in it that helps me get to my debt free goal...productive? ummmmm.....

I am considering the payday loans to get a couple of gifts not to fill the room, I think I've mentioned that having a couple (couple = 2)of gifts under the tree is better than none...Chirstmas is not about excess, but children look for and expect at least one or two gifts and if they are well thought out I'm sure a couple of gifts will be fine...

I'm not worried about her having the latest electronics, I'm worried that she will not have anything at all.

Please feel free to read Same old Story (this is part II) it tells a great deal more.

G

[timetosave]

I'm looking at home health aide and manufacturing jobs...things I can go to after I get off from my full time job...any other suggestions?

G

[LuxLiving]

Hi Time To Save - I'm trying to catch up - you don't say why, but for some reason you believe that between now and the 25th of December there will not be ANY of your paycheck money that you could use to go get a few Christmas gifts with??? is that right? Every dime of them are all spoken for? So, I'm also assuming this means that the husband will contribute no dollars for Christmas gifts?

Did you already have to tap into the 250.00 you were able to put back earlier?

I think in one post today you mentioned you weren't comfortable to leave your kids with the husband anymore because of his abusive nature. Or words to that effect. Yet you also say you are looking for more work which will take you away from them for more hours...but in another when saying you can't cut out the frills of a riding lesson that the kids are your highest priority. I'm thinking that leaving them with him if he is abusive to earn money for pony rides or even car payments is not worth any amount of money that could be gained during the extra hours. Sorry if that is offensive to you - it isn't meant to be. It's out of concern for you and your kids. I apologize if I got the gist of this wrong because I didn't take the time to go back and pull your exact quotes. *(ducking now)*

You also mentioned that you don't have a spending plan/budget in place yet. I just want to encourage you again to sit down with each paycheck before any money is spent and decide what your bills/spending is going to be for that payperiod/ or month. That is the budget/plan. THIS IS KEY TO YOUR POINT OF TURN AROUND. Carefully forecasting needs, making a plan and sticking with it to the very best of your ability.

Could you decide that $20.00 a paycheck between now and then will go to Christmas gifts and therefore stay away from making another loan? It may not be the normal Christmas your children are used to but they will survive. Check out the threads on here about the frugal Christmas gifts some folks are working on.

I think the ultimate goal you originally stated was that you wanted to prepare for the kid's college education. I think it would be hard to get their college paid w/o your making some tight sacrifices now while you get things turned around. Can you take any extra money off of your grocery budget by preplanning & cooking inexpensive meals and put that money back for Christmas?

Do you care to say what happened to get you off track with your car payment catch up plan? If you lose your car you will be in a wad. I know you already know that!! Nothing new there.

[piggybank4]

Originally Posted by timetosave

I'm not sure how to respond to your post...not sure if it is a slap in the face (I think I do that to myself well enough) or not...I don't see anything in it that helps me get to my debt free goal...productive? ummmmm.....

Please feel free to read Same old Story (this is part II) it tells a great deal more.

G

Thank you for your response. I tried to be clear that my post was NOT meant to be a slap in the face. I was just trying to get a feel for where you're at right now. It sounds like you have your priorities straight (children first) which is good. It sounds like there are many things outside your control (DH, etc.) for which there aren't any easy answers (or advice).

I just don't like to see people go down the wrong path (which many people do -- sacrificing time with kids so they can have a higher "standard of living" -- replacing the love they need with a bunch of crap which doesn't make any kids happy) "Materialism" really bothers me. That's why I wanted to see where you were at on this issue. It sounds like you have had enough to deal with up till now -- I didn't want you to be bringing more misery on yourself

I often overlook things -- I had overlooked the fact that your post was called Same Old Story II -- it didn't click that you might have gone into more detail in part I. *grin*

[LuxLiving]

Understand and Control Your Finances
http://www.bygpub.com/finance/finance0.htm

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by LuxLiving

Hi Time To Save - I'm trying to catch up - you don't say why, but for some reason you believe that between now and the 25th of December there will not be ANY of your paycheck money that you could use to go get a few Christmas gifts with??? is that right? Every dime of them are all spoken for? So, I'm also assuming this means that the husband will contribute no dollars for Christmas gifts?

Did you already have to tap into the 250.00 you were able to put back earlier?

I think in one post today you mentioned you weren't comfortable to leave your kids with the husband anymore because of his abusive nature. Or words to that effect. Yet you also say you are looking for more work which will take you away from them for more hours...but in another when saying you can't cut out the frills of a riding lesson that the kids are your highest priority. I'm thinking that leaving them with him if he is abusive to earn money for pony rides or even car payments is not worth any amount of money that could be gained during the extra hours. Sorry if that is offensive to you - it isn't meant to be. It's out of concern for you and your kids. I apologize if I got the gist of this wrong because I didn't take the time to go back and pull your exact quotes. *(ducking now)*

You also mentioned that you don't have a spending plan/budget in place yet. I just want to encourage you again to sit down with each paycheck before any money is spent and decide what your bills/spending is going to be for that payperiod/ or month. That is the budget/plan. THIS IS KEY TO YOUR POINT OF TURN AROUND. Carefully forecasting needs, making a plan and sticking with it to the very best of your ability.

Could you decide that $20.00 a paycheck between now and then will go to Christmas gifts and therefore stay away from making another loan? It may not be the normal Christmas your children are used to but they will survive. Check out the threads on here about the frugal Christmas gifts some folks are working on.

I think the ultimate goal you originally stated was that you wanted to prepare for the kid's college education. I think it would be hard to get their college paid w/o your making some tight sacrifices now while you get things turned around. Can you take any extra money off of your grocery budget by preplanning & cooking inexpensive meals and put that money back for Christmas?

Do you care to say what happened to get you off track with your car payment catch up plan? If you lose your car you will be in a wad. I know you already know that!! Nothing new there.

Hi Lux...yep, you read it right. Dh has never participated in Xmas giving, never (another place I fell into debt in the past). He has his own issues. But my getting another job really has nothing to do with riding lessons. Her lesson is 35.00 a month now (just Ima trying to make trouble again) she is working in the stable to pay for the rest of her lessons. I can't make a budget until I get my car payment up to date. Every time something major comes up that is where I turn because that is the biggest chunck of money I have going out...I will feed my kids before I make a car payment.

I thought I was on the right track but then the refinance dh did (to clear up his debts not help with mine) went bad and he wound up paying 700 more a month than he thought he would have to which pushed some of the household bills on me...which pushed my re-payment into the garbage. This has been a very difficult two months. Yes, I've completely spent the 250.00 I had in the emergency fund...every penny. I've been cutting back drastically. But because we are so far in debt - it only becomes we when he is in trouble - every step I take forward feels like a HUGE step back.

I am VERY CONCERNED about leaving my children with him, especially when he is stressed like this...they suffered all summer. I HAVE TO WORK, the only way I am going to get out of this is if I fix my credit and get myself in a more stable place. I have no choice in getting a second job. I would love to work out of my house but I can not bring in other children with ds and dh. I am looking into medical transcription but that take so much time to learn and get certified and then trying to get the work in this area is not easy. I just don't know what else to do. I have to get a second job. I can't afford to place the kids in daycare for the additional time I'm away. I feel terrible about that but I have to work.

Right now I am trying to keep my head above water, college education is not even in my vocabulary. Keeping the car is a must. But because of the turn of events I have to steal from Peter to pay Paul. I still have the student loan to deal with in January. I have cut back on my grocery bill drastically, I won't go to unhealthy pre-packaged foods but I am shopping at Sav-O-Lot and stores like that. It has cut my bill drastically. We've done NO shopping since well...it seems forever now. Her birthday is on the 4th of Nov. and I have no idea what I am going to do. I've already committed that paycheck to the car and the light bill. We don't even have money to put gas in the car right now...I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next 10 days!

I know I will make it through. There is always a way.

Also, please don't forget about the garnishment on my pay...that came at the worst time ever! I expected it and was even geared up to accept the blow until this happened with the mortgage.

G

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by piggybank4

Thank you for your response. I tried to be clear that my post was NOT meant to be a slap in the face. I was just trying to get a feel for where you're at right now. It sounds like you have your priorities straight (children first) which is good. It sounds like there are many things outside your control (DH, etc.) for which there aren't any easy answers (or advice).

I just don't like to see people go down the wrong path (which many people do -- sacrificing time with kids so they can have a higher "standard of living" -- replacing the love they need with a bunch of crap which doesn't make any kids happy) "Materialism" really bothers me. That's why I wanted to see where you were at on this issue. It sounds like you have had enough to deal with up till now -- I didn't want you to be bringing more misery on yourself

I often overlook things -- I had overlooked the fact that your post was called Same Old Story II -- it didn't click that you might have gone into more detail in part I. *grin*

Again, you are going on and on about materialism and my not loving my kids enough...please I do nothing but sacrafice for my children.