Desperate Single Mother

[NeatFreak]

After 12 years of marriage, a child, and a house. Five years ago my ex-husband called me to tell he that he wasn't coming home.

We desperately need help. I have been performing a juggling act during this time trying to get us to the point that we didn't "need" the child support. Especially, since it will end in two years.

Now, my financial juggling act is failing, since I had to have surgery. My daughter and I need help and fast, before we loose everything. Please, someone help us!

[crosses]

Not to be rude, but this site isn't a place where people give money. If you're looking for ways to get your finances in order, there are a lot of people that will give suggestions and helpful hints, but if you're looking for financial help, you should go to an organization like your local church or <a href="http://www.modestneeds.org">Modest Needs</a>.

[NeatFreak]

I don't mean to be rude either. But, don't you think I have exhausted all other avenues, before I would go onto the internet and beg?

Hence the name of my website.

[jacquelynrose]

I am a Single Mom myself....do you Work? Do you have Family/Friends/Relatives? I was living with my family and working a full time Job since I left my husband....now I am getting my own place...I had been paying Rent and living at home...now I make enough to have my own place...not much but enough for my daughter and myself. I do not get Child Support. I was getting a 'little' bit of Help from the Government but with as much help that they give you its not even worth it to depend on them...I would rather Budget and Save. Its more fun anyway!

Jacquelyn

[crosses]

Originally Posted by NeatFreak

I don't mean to be rude either. But, don't you think I have exhausted all other avenues, before I would go onto the internet and beg?

Hence the name of my website.

That is the question. By coming to a this site where nobody knows you and begging, we have no idea whether you are truly in need or simply scamming (that may sound harsh, especially if you are in need, but there is no way for any of us to tell).

Now I believe in people so I assume that you are not, but I would never give money unless I knew the person's full storey, what they have done to try and get their finances under control, etc.

If you are looking for ways to better your finances and learn more how to do this, I think everyone would welcome you to the forums (it's one of the nicest groups around), give advice to try and help and would like to get to know you better. If you are only here to try and get money, you probably won't get much sympathy.

Whatever the case may be, I hope that you do find a solution to your problem and don't lose everything.

[NeatFreak]

Jacquelyn

Yes, I work full-time. I do have family, however they are not in a position to help me.

I earn too much money to get any assistance from the government. But, not enough to make ends meet...even with the child support.

[PrincessPerky]

try posting your budget..we have helped another dude recently, he cut expenses by a couple hundred, managing to get closer to in line with his pay..he is still working on it..how about you?

[NeatFreak]

I will work on it and post it later or probably tomorrow. I appreciate any assistance.

Begging really sucks!

[scrava]

I bet it does totally suck!
I think since none of us "know" you, your post
had us concerned. But, as yuo are just
starting off, you probably didn't know where to start, too.

Yes, posting your budget will help us help you, LOL.

Good luck!!

(I'm also an avid couponer (and I know others here are too).
So, maybe we can help you on the food front, too.

[NeatFreak]

Mortgage/Taxes/Ins. 687.00
Auto Insurance Comes out of Savings 66.00
Electric Levelized Billing 123.00
Satellite 44.00
Trash Billed every 3 months 15.00
Credit Card 60.00
Home Equity Line Comes out of Savings 109.00
IRA Comes out of Savings 25.00
Medical Bills/RX 100.00
Phone/Internet/Cell This is the highest 156.00
TOTAL 1,385.00

[NeatFreak]

Yes it does suck. You are correct, you don't know me. I don't like asking for help, in any circumstance. But, I have my daughter to worry about. It took 12 years to build up my household on two incomes. I have been working on getting it to function on one income since then. It seems that when I take one step forward...I take three backwards.

I was thinking after I read your post. This may be no help to you but I would like to try to help in another way rather giving money to a stranger.
You said you had a daughter right? You can sign up for Upromise, they help you save for college. Whenever you use a certain card (credit card,CVS,Kroger,etc.)the ones that you scan and get savings, they put a little money in your online account whin you buy a certain product, it's not much but adds up over time. The promotional code is ELM3, gives you an extra $3. www.upromise.com It is totally free. I have a little over $500 in my account for my children. Hope I could be of help to you.
Sincerely,
Hotshot

[scrava]

I know some food pantries/church pantries will help anyone out.
So, if more traditinal government help things have turned you down in the
past these may not. Eating the food they give ya will help with your cash flow.
Also, sometimes going through all the food that you have in the house and eating the
stuff you don't really like can stretch you thru a few meals (at least at my house, LOL).
You could start by call neighborhood churches or maybe even the transitional assistance
office could refer you.

Don't forget the library for free things to do & read & watch.

I know it is really hard, but I would either cancel cell phones or house phone.
I would knock my cable down to the bare minimum and/or cancel it. That will also help
w/ the electric (no tv on) whihc someone mentioned on another thread. Don't
carry any cash w/ you to avoid temptation. Try to drive less to save gas money.
Can you increase your auto ins. deductible to decrease montly premiums?
Do you have any friends who could use a place to crash at least for a short time?
Maybe they even need a place to store some stuff. You could charge them less than
the storage facility. (Just some thoughts). Could you offer to babysit for somepeople?
I would rather hire an adult in a heart beat. You could probably bring your daughter
along if you mention in advance. They usually provide a meal and snacks, too, LOL.

Mabe you could spread the word among friends & family that you are available to house/animal sit.

I think decluttering and selling that stuff on ebay/amazon/craigs list is a great idea.

[NeatFreak]

I have done most of your suggestions.

The ones I haven't I will really consider.

Thanks for the advice.

[DivaJen]

Satellite TV? That looks like an easy one to cut.
Phone and cell? I'd drop one.
Internet? Unless you need it for work, I'd say let it go and use the library or some other free source if you need to go online.

That ought to trim about $100 a month from your expenses.

You didn't include food - what do you spend a month on groceries and eating out?

[scrava]

Yeah, it is tough!

My Mom was a single Mom and raised me. It was tough.
My grandparents were really great to us so we were lucky in that respect.

I learned a lot from those days. I'm really strong and determined now.
And, as much as I like all my "stuff", I know I could lose it all and still be fine.

I thought of some other suggestions:
Online surveys and if you have a lawn mower, you could offer to mow lawns.
A lot of ppl around here don't like to mow lawns and you could get upwards of $35 CASH.

[NeatFreak]

We usually spend approximately $300 on food. If we go out it is to McDonalds.

[autoxer]

Originally Posted by NeatFreak

Mortgage/Taxes/Ins. 687.00
Auto Insurance Comes out of Savings 66.00
Electric Levelized Billing 123.00
Satellite 44.00
Trash Billed every 3 months 15.00
Credit Card 60.00
Home Equity Line Comes out of Savings 109.00
IRA Comes out of Savings 25.00
Medical Bills/RX 100.00
Phone/Internet/Cell This is the highest 156.00
TOTAL 1,385.00

So what is your income and when you say 'comes out of savings', does that mean you can't cover that with income?

[poundwise]

I too do not mean to come off as rude, however, I will say frankly that I would not be 'begging' until I had done all that I could do. To me, that means no satellite or cable, no Internet (or use public source), no cell (or at least nothing in excess of contract), no calling features on land-line (if cell works at house, depending on other factors, perhaps no land-line period), no McDonald's, some meatless meals, sandwiches/bag lunches, no investment in IRA/401K, etc.

I wouldn't try to assume to know your situation or your frame of mind as you deal with things in your life; I'm sure that it can be very difficult. However, you have do all that you can. Whether its cutting back, cutting off, working more, changing jobs, selling items, or whatever.

After that point, when you have exhausted every option, then you should turn to community assistance groups such as churches who are typically quite happy to help with food, clothing, and more.

You sound like you are 'at wit's end' when perhaps you just need to get a breath, take a step back, determine to deal with your situation, and then take the necessary steps, whatever they may be, to deal with everything in the best manner possible.

I do wish you well. If you do need help, then seek it out in your community.

[puppypal]

Oh, I am in some what of your situation and have been a single mom. It bites at times when there are few choices you know of that will fix the problem.
At present I too have hit a wall that time will heal! LOL
But the others have suggested some great ideas. I know this time isn't easy for you at least you are recieving some support. We pay support on my SS raise him and I do not recieve any support for my son. GGGGGRRRRRRR Hear are some up to present things I have done to help my situation.....

I stopped Dish about a month ago and I will see a 50.00 savings soon enough. It messed with the tv addicted minds of my teen boys for a week or two then they realized they are not home as much as they used to be anyway. total saved $600

We started checking out movies at the library instead of renting them. Lord only Know with teens how much this saved me!

I looked over my land line bill and took off everything possible. Long distance was a delete buttom and when need be I get a calling card for 6 cents or lower.
Avg. savings 23.00 a month

No cell phones. <-------Never had it!

Eat out of the garden and friends gardens......
Also one of the hardest things for me (animal lover) was to eat deer.......But now It is ok because beef is a luxury at my home and well bird gets old! Well you do the figures hamburger ground beef around here is 1.49 a pound on sale and one deer can net 50 to 60 pounds of ground deer.

I kind of barter my time and help in kitchen with friends so to reap the rewards of the veggies and fruit! This year has been a tomato, cucumber, watermelon canolope year. So loads of salsa for sure

No internet at home. saving 20.00 a month

Looked at my home insurance and car insurance raised deductable cut costs. Since i do not have teens that drive yet....It helped. 323.00 savings a yr

I also make bearly above with DH income to recieve anything extra so to speak.
What is killing us the most is he drives 105 miles every day for work! OUCH! GAS $$$$$$

I do not get to shop at malls, only resale shops! PERIOD! I had to lay the law down at home with my name brand SS. Told him cool! Get a job buy what ya want go with me and get same thing second hand or get nothing....

I also am paying off the credit card little by little. Keep it for the emergency only!

Saving on food is a biggy but of course to save on food you must work and work hard at it. From buying lost leaders at the stores. To getting a calculater out and figuring the best for the least. COOKING! Now that alone saves a fortune! But it takes work! I work 12 hour days and still cook every night because for us I have to cook if we want to eat!
DH washes the dishes and I cook. The agreement to save a fortune. Since you have kids you do have your dishwashers. We have made dinner more pleasing......
Like taco Bell night
The Olive garden Night
Find it for yourself or leftover night
Breakfest TONIGHT! Which saves money.
I always have a crockpot of something going and beans, rice, potatoes, noodles or another are always there to stretch the meat. Never serve it alone!

Now I know there are 100s more things folks can do and I do to de-crease the budget.....
But there is a few to help!

The worst part is TIME! With every new budget, the time factor makes it tough
Just remember what
Thomas Edison said
Opportunity is missed by many because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work!