The problem with being budget minded is other people.

[cschin4]

Another reason I don't discuss my finances openly is that it can set up some problems between people. If you are doing well and are talking about how well you are doing, how much you make, etc, then others who are not doing so well may view it as bragging even if you really are only trying to give good advice.
And, if you aren't doing so well and are discussing it, then you will probably get alot of unwanted advice!

[jmjj215]

We've been in some awfully awkward situations b/c someone knew a bit too much about our personal finances. They tell someone else, that person tells someone else, pretty soon the truth is lost somewhere in there... it's just bad all around. I prefer to keep my hand close.

[lrjohnson]

cschin4 said

Another reason I don't discuss my finances openly is that it can set up some problems between people. If you are doing well and are talking about how well you are doing, how much you make, etc, then others who are not doing so well may view it as bragging even if you really are only trying to give good advice.

I do not disclose how much I have coming in or how much I have in the bank.

But on the flip side, I have no problems disclosing how much, or usually, how little, I pay for things. I have no problems exposing my frugality.

I look at it like this: someone else may not have had the right combination of circumstances to earn what I am earning (it's not huge, but in my County it's not bad). However, anyone can choose to do some frugal things-anyone can buy bulk, whole, non-convenience foods, choose not to have full cable, shop at thrift sores, etc.

(A funny part of being in civil service is that pay is dictated by the county and union negotiations, so frankly anyone knowing my title can look up the range of what I am making.)

So whether I talk about my finances with others depends on how you define finances. Income no, outgo yes.

I think a benefit of some people inferring I have decent income and seeing me do lots of frugal things is that it plants in their minds that frugality is not only for people scraping buy, it's a tool that anyone can use to improve the quality of their life. I know at least a couple of people at work have added some simple frugal things to their routine (the bread thrift store, Freecycle) even though they don't "need" to.

[cschin4]

Have you ever noticed though that when you tell someone how much you paid for something, someone will tell you they could have got a better deal!

[Ima saver]

I don't mind discussing my finances because I want to encourage young people to save. I want to be an example that you do not have to make a lot of money, to become very comfortable if you don't spend everything you have on "wants"

[jmjj215]

Originally Posted by cschin4

Have you ever noticed though that when you tell someone how much you paid for something, someone will tell you they could have got a better deal!

I guess that just proves that talk is cheap.

Get it?

[getforfree]

Have you ever noticed though that when you tell someone how much you paid for something, someone will tell you they could have got a better deal!

I usually do that when some one tells me that they bought something and they paid only this much, if I had a better deal on the same item, I would tell them. Because the game is to buy what you need "on time", when it's at the lowest price possible, not when you ran out and need it today.

[The Budget Man]

The interesting thing about people telling me how good a deal they got on something is that they rarely (IF EVER) tell me when they didn't get a good deal.

It's human nature to tell of successes but we are quiet when it comes to the other deals.

Enjoy Your Money
The Budget Man

www.PersonalityBudgeting.com
when the budget needs to work

[lrjohnson]

Sharing frugality has the possibility of being a lot more than sharing good deals.

People know of the things I've chosen not to have, such as basic cable (I have the 10 channel guy). People know I hang my laindry, wash ziplocs. People know I shop thrift stores and don't buy convenience foods. People know I like to think about big purchases a long time. People know I often decide not to buy something (or do something, like go out to a movie) and I say "I don't want to spend my money on that" instead of "I can't fford it." People know I'm able to do my hobby of traveling without even touching my savings.

A lot of times when people are talking about good deals, I find it somewhat funny because it's about things I don't have. Cell phones, cell phone contracts, vehicle payments, credit card interest rates, or even just new items I'd rarely buy new. $19.99 for a sweater is very much not a good deal to me, but other people will discuss getting an item at 75% off as if it was a deal. 75% of 80 bucks is too much for me.

[ummabdullah]

I think if the sweater is something you need and good quality than it is a good deal.. cuz it will last for years..

but after visiting places like pakistan, and syria.. and egypt.. I am not very happy with the quality of clothes in the US or UK and feel that they do not last very long..

[Pleroma]

I use the phrase, we can't afford it, quite often. This is for things like dining out too frequently, or buying a "want" when it wasn't budgeted.


laughing...the neighbors figure that we are broke because my husband, who retired from the fire department at age 50, will take odd jobs around the neighborhood. (He is now 53 with the old type of government pension that will continue until we die.)
The extra money he makes, goes on making extra payments on our bills or for buying hay for his buffalo. (We have a small herd of two cows and one bull.)

My daughter just graduated from college on June 10th. She moved back home on June 11th and started work on June 12th. The neighbors found out that she will also be available to house sit at night after her daytime job. She let them know that she would be glad to earn the extra money. She needs to buy herself a car as fast as she can.

My son has two more years in college. He is spending part of his summer on campus because he has a job as a research assistant in the geology department for a research professor. When he comes home, he is glad to take on odd jobs of house sitting or feeding the neighbors' livestock. (He also helps the elderly neighbors free of charge when they run into a problem like needing someone to stack wood.)

It is pretty nice for people to believe that we don't have any money and are having a difficult time of it. They don't need to know how we stand financially.
We don't loan, or co-sign for anyone. (That is one of our boundaries.) We will go out and buy groceries if they are having a difficult time of it or share what we have onhand since I keep a good stock of groceries.

Truthfully, all of us like doing things this way. My kids hate to ask me to buy anything for them, even though I never hold it against them. (They feel that we help them enough and they should be able to take care of theirselves.)
While they were away at college, I would have to demand that they let me give them some money when I could tell that they were pretty much down to their last dollar (usually at the end of the quarter).
I don't know what happened. I wasn't like them when I was their age.

[kealina]

Originally Posted by DebtManWalking

We have friends that are in debt up to the eyeballs, big house, BMW's and the white picket fence. The inside of the house is barely furnished because to them the outside appearance is far more important than the inside.

lol... my husband makes jokes about our future home... he said we should make the inside really nice and make it as dinky as possible outside.... i laughed but not i'm reconsidering the benfits .... only people who really want to see us would venture inside and be pleasantly surprised... lol...

Posted by flash...
Same here...isn't it odd, people think that they can AFFORD something just because they can cover the cost, on the short term. We do use it, that's just it, we USE it, to work for us and keep us financially secure. Spending isn't the same as using! Thanks for the post!

lol... we get the same thing from people... i believe that security needs to be built first and then you can enjoy your rewards without the worry...

[Ima saver]

I go to lots of parties with the same 10-15 couples all the time. Not a single one of them is into budgeting and saving. Heck the last couple of parties have cost over $5000 each!

[The Budget Man]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

I go to lots of parties with the same 10-15 couples all the time. Not a single one of them is into budgeting and saving. Heck the last couple of parties have cost over $5000 each!

It's great to see how others live. Sometimes we change and other times we become more set in our ways as we see how we prefer our way of living.

I have a question. When you are with this group of people do you feel you need to spend to keep up with them or do you feel comfortable with your usua spending habits?

Enjoy Your Money
The Budget Man

www.PersonalityBudgeting.com
When you want a budget to set you free

[Duchesse]

Only 5% of the people in the world are willing to do what it takes to succeed. .......Dennis Kimbro

Tightwads are a small elite group.......Amy Dacyczyn

My new motto for complainers in debt and potential borrowers, etc.,

"If you manage your money you will always have money to manage, if you spend your money you won't always have money to spend."

[Ima saver]

No budget man, I feel no need to spend like they do. I even talk to them about things like turning off their hot water heater during the day. They think I am crazy. When we have a party, we cook burgers on the grill, not catered food like they do. They hire women to serve and clean up during the party and a d.j. to play music!

[The Budget Man]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

No budget man, I feel no need to spend like they do. I even talk to them about things like turning off their hot water heater during the day. They think I am crazy. When we have a party, we cook burgers on the grill, not catered food like they do. They hire women to serve and clean up during the party and a d.j. to play music!

I'm with you on this one. The interesting thing we find is that when we act as we normally do some of our new friends feel so much more relaxed that they don't have to put on a show all the time.

We've several friends who now cater in exactly the way you mention and they are under so much less pressure on their finances.

Enjoy Your Money
The Budget Man

www.PersonalityBudgeting.com
A budget that works

[robex]

Dh's family always thought we were poor because we didn't spend money to live in the moment. Were they ever surprised when he quit his full time job to work part time...I feel like we got the last laugh.

A few years ago I babysat my friend's children a few days a week for 10 months and saved all the money I made in a separate account so we could go to Disneyland. One sil told another who told another who told me that my Dad had paid for our trip! That was shocking to me. We don't talk about our finances to Dh's family, but apparently they're quite interested in our financial affairs!

I do have one very close friend who is as frugal as us. We understand eachother completely. It is very nice having an ally to chat with! Of course, being here helps immensely as well!

[kealina]

Originally Posted by Duchesse

My new motto for complainers in debt and potential borrowers, etc.,

"If you manage your money you will always have money to manage, if you spend your money you won't always have money to spend."

i might have to borrow it although maybe only to repeat for mental fortification and maybe to share with any future fellow frugal friends...

[rob62521]

We are a rarity among many of our friends. We save money, we buy a few nice things, but we research them first to get something that lasts. We live in a smaller house than what the bank says we should have bought! I coupon, look for sales, and use leftovers. I enjoy eating out, but prefer to eat at home most of the time because of the cost and the fact I can control what kind of food is being used. (We do eat out twice a week -- one nice restaurant and Steak and Shake for Sunday supper). When we received a small inheritance we used the money to pay off our house and invested the remainder. We have made home improvements to enhance the value of our home. Yet, I don't feel we play the game of how much can we spend? I like my life the way it is and buying more stuff wouldn't make me any happier. I grew up having little money so I'm not swayed by folks wanting us to spend to keep up with them. Oh, did I mention I can be a little stubborn and stongwilled?