Budget disagreement with spouse

[pinkeyy501]

My husband and I are trying to set up a budget for this year based on last year's spendings. My husband has a job which pays every 2 weeks and I work from home as a graphic designer, so my income is different every year, every month. Last year, I was in charge of keeping track of the money and I was able to put most of the money I made into our savings accout. Looking at last year's spendings, we spent way more than we should have, so I wanted to set up the budget to live just with his income. I have kept track of all the spendings last year and came up with a realistic budget, but still having a hard time fitting into just his income. But it shouldn't be unrealistic.

The big disagreement is not about where we should cut the spendings, but my husband thinks that we should build my income into the budget. My opinion is, since my income is unpredictible, we shouldn't build it into our budget. We are also thinking about having a baby soon, so who knows how much I will be able to make this year. My income should go to savings account as we did last year. If we think it's not there, then we won't rely on it, therefore, we can save them all.

I have two possible solutions: 1, though it would create more work, we can completely separate our accounts and each pay 1/2 of everything... kind of like roommates. 2, we can go see a financial advisor and see what he says. If the suggestions come from someone else, I think we can both listen better.

I wanted to see if anyone else have a similar problem and how they have solved the problem. Has anyone done the above suggestions? Any other suggestions? Any input would be appreciated. Thank you.

[Ima saver]

I completely agree with you. You should live on your husband's salary and put your unpredictible into savings to use for savings and emergencies. Maybe use it for once or twice a year big expenses, which for me would be car insurance, house insurance and property taxes. (Not sure if that fits your situation)

[robex]

If you can afford to manage on your husband's salary then, yes, I would base the budget on that amount and use yours for savings...especially if you're planning a family. Once you have a child you may find that your work situation completely changes.

[PRICEPLUS]

I'd have to say that living on the one salary is the way to go if you can do it!

[Ima saver]

When I was younger and worked, we used my pay only for child care and groceries. For years we have lived on my husband's paycheck. If I ever did go back to work, I would not earn very much, but I would save all that I earned.

[JoyJoy]

Saving your income and using hubby's income for the expenses is a wise way to go! I will be totally out of credit card debt in November, 2006. My husband paid off his credit card debt in November, 2005. We will be allocating 80% of my income to savings come December, 2006 and 20% will go towards paying off the mortgage; God willing. Perhaps you may want to set up an account called "Baby" and start putting an amount in that account monthly as well.

Best Wishes to you and your hubby. God bless!!!

[Ima saver]

Joyjoy, that sounds great! I bet you are really looking for to this coming December!!

[JoyJoy]

Hi ImaSaver!! You betcha!! No more credit card debt?? Can't wait! LOL

[Ima saver]

I got mine paid off about a year ago and I only charge what I can pay each month. that is why I don't watch QVC too much any more, too tempting!!What I really like is that you are going to put 80% of your income into savings starting next December. That is great!!!

[JoyJoy]

I never got addicted to the shopping channels as I learned to stay away from them after my sister's husband complained about the UPS truck coming every day and my sister running up a large bill! My addiction is to books! I have to have a stack of them waiting for me to read. I don't like my supply getting low at all.

Yes, 80% is the plan. My income is mine now to spend as I like while paying off the credit cards so I am bracing myself for this. LOL. It will be worthwhile as hubby's check more than covers us now and his paying off his credit cards afforded us the opportunity to open up an account with HSBC and Emigrant. We already have Tiaa-Cref and a credit union account though sparse, but one has to crawl before they can walk after paying off credit card debt and raising 3 sons!! All on their own now!!

[locolorenzo24]

My opinion....

Don't rely on your income if it's sporatic! After all, would you two want to plan on money NOT being there? Take your money and save it and maybe pay some of the huge expenses out of your pay....

However, if you get paid, to make it fair to said hubby, take and each pay a share of bills relative to what you're making...(i.e. if you make 20% of monthly income that month...you pay 20% of the bills)

[Tree0164]

I agree with everyone else about living on your husband's salary. We are in pretty similar situation. I also work out of the home and my income is up and down each month. My money tends to go to the fund emergency fund, my Roth IRA, Christmas, and Vacation fund. Also helps with those sporadic bills as well.

Hopefully hubby doesn't think he is going to be stuck with all the bills and you are running crazy spending your own earnings.

[PrincessPerky]

If it were totally up to me I would live on DHs salory and bank yours, but it isn't. IT isn't up to me, and it isn't totally up to you.

Maybe a comprimise? base the budget on your likely minimum salory? Or even slightly less, just so your DH doesn't feel he is doing all the work, and no fun.... Maybe rework it so your salory goes 80 to savings, and 20 for splurges (to be decided together or alternateing months, whatever)

[Fern]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

I completely agree with you. You should live on your husband's salary and put your unpredictible into savings to use for savings and emergencies. Maybe use it for once or twice a year big expenses, which for me would be car insurance, house insurance and property taxes. (Not sure if that fits your situation)

Ditto. Definitely if you can live on the one income, you can really sock it away with your income. Human nature being what it is, if you add your income to the family budget, it will be spent.

If you can afford it, seeing a financial planner makes good sense. An impartial and knowledgeable third party can help make your spouse see the light.

[Ima saver]

Let your spouse read this. I think it would be an incentive to me to earn more, if I knew I was going to get to keep (read that, save) most of it!!

[PrincessPerky]

One thing I tend to take into a disscussion with DH about money:
I figure I will be in debt for a year or so (then the mortgage) but I will be married for life .

So long as he and I both try to keep the debt length lower than the marriage term I am fairly happy.

[flash]

Originally Posted by pinkeyy501

My husband and I are trying to set up a budget for this year based on last year's spendings.

I have kept track of all the spendings last year and came up with a realistic budget, but still having a hard time fitting into just his income. But it shouldn't be unrealistic.

The big disagreement is not about where we should cut the spendings, but my husband thinks that we should build my income into the budget. My opinion is, since my income is unpredictible, we shouldn't build it into our budget.

It's certainly ideal to live on one income and save the rest. That doesn't sound realistic based on :

First, if your budget is calculated on last year's spendings, and your income was included last years spending, it sounds difficult to separate it out this way.

Second, if the budget is "realistic" but doesn't "fit into just his income", then either it has to be cut, or your income has to be added.

Are you sure you aren't arguing about what needs to be cut, i.e. you have to make cuts he doesn't want to make to get the budget to fit into his income?

(Third, consider that he might be a bit nervous about having only one income, making it "official" that he is responsible for all the income, or that you might not be going back to work, or even just the additional responsibility of all the costs a child brings. )

That said, there are several ways to compromise and achieve the same goal. First, you need to resolve the point about a realistic budget not fitting into his income. If you can get past that, you can

1. put together a budget using both incomes, but the SPENDING based on only his. The "unknown" income, add in to the budget as SAVING only. 2. to calculate your unknown income, add up what you made last year, and take 25% of that for this years budget, or whatever you feel is reasonable. Again, don't use that in the budget for spending if you can help it.

[Ima saver]

That sounds like a good plan, flash!!

[TBH]

It seems to me that your question is not about whether your plan is a good one, but about how you strike a bargain with your spouse.

This is a tough one. My spouse and I are mostly compatible financially, but we certainly have issues.

I think you should try to budget so all your fixed expenses (utilities, mortgage or rent, groceries, etc) can be covered by his income. Use your income to budget for large irregular bills as others have said, like annual or biannual insurance premiums, emergencies, vacations, etc. And yes, I think a big portion should go into savings.

I think separating your finances over this is not a good idea, especially if you're thinking of having a baby. It would be hard to figure out who paid what if you were working less in order to do childcare. Stick it out, keep your finances mingled, and find a way to honor his wishes as long as he's agreeing to some reasonable percentage going into savings.

Flash has a point: if your budget won't fit into his income, your spouse may just be slightly more realistic than you are.

We have this discussion all the time at our house--I want to save more, but my spouse is more realistic about our unavoidable expenses. He doesn't want to just arbitrarily decide to save more without figuring out where we're going to economize. I hate to admit this, but he kinda has a point. I am more likely to make gradiose plans about how much I want to save without really having the income to back up my plans.