85% of college graduates move back home

[jeffrey]

Getting a degree used to be a stepping stone to limitless career opportunities. Now it's more of a hiatus from living under your parents' roof.

Stubbornly high unemployment -- nearly 15% for those ages 20-24 -- has made finding a job nearly impossible. And without a job, there's nowhere for these young adults to go but back to their old bedrooms, curfews and chore charts. Meet the boomerangers...

Boomerang kids: 85% of college graduates must move back home - Oct. 14, 2010

[disneysteve]

This is a really pathetic trend that is unjustifiable in the vast majority of cases in my opinion. Just look at this article. The unemployment rate is "nearly 15%". If that's the case, why isn't the percentage of college grads moving back home about 15% rather than 85%? That means that the huge majority of grads moving back home have jobs. They are just choosing not to be independent adults and get on with their lives.

I love my parents but when I was done with college, I was excited and anticipating getting my own place and starting my adult life. Today, it seems that kids don't think that way anymore if 85% of them are staying home with mom and dad. That isn't growth, it is regression.

Part of the problem is that kids are spoiled. They don't want to move out until they can afford the same lifestyle they enjoyed in their parents' homes. Not me. I moved into a studio apartment, slept on a sofa bed and dealt with the roaches in my kitchenette. But it was MY place. I could wake up when I wanted, go to sleep when I wanted, watch what I wanted to watch on TV and come and go on MY schedule.

We've tried our best to instill in our daughter that she will live away for college, not commute from home, and that after college, she will get her own place and live on her own, not back with us. We'll see how that works out but that's definitely the expectation that we are putting out there. I wonder about these kids who move back home but I also question the parents who allow it.

[irmanator]

I too have told my children many times "I am trying to raise independant self sufficient adults and if you are still in my house after college then I failed and I do not intend to fail."

[elessar78]

After college I moved back home and in retrospect I wish I hadn't. Or at least had saved the amount I would've been paying for rent. Inasmuch, my life didn't really get started until I moved out on my own.

Why did I move back home?

Tough economy, and there were few jobs in my field to be had. I think that's the point, "in my field" I should've been willing to take ANY job. After I did get employed, I enjoyed ENJOYED living at home because all I had was play money. No overhead, everything dollar was to be spent on hedonistic living.

But after a while you begin to feel pathetic that you can't bring a girl back to your place 'cause your mom is at home. ha ha. So it was time to move out.

Now that I'm a parent, I think it's a part of the process of raising kids to expect them to move out after college, as much as it is an expectation for them to go to college. I think it should be explicit and come with advance lessons on how to do it. Without that, I think, at least in my case, you cruise through your senior year of college. Most of my credits were out of the way and I was taking a nominal course load to finish requirements. I could've used that 12 month lead time to be looking for a job. Any job.

I think pride also gets in the way of moving out. I HAD to get a job in my field or else college was a waste. What a crock, I know realize! Now I dislike my career and wish for an opportunity in something else.

[kork13]

I have friends who have moved back in with family, so I won't be overly judgmental of it. However, most of my friends all live far separated from family, often across the country from home. To look objectively between the two groups of people, and also looking at my extended family (which is actually rather large -- lots of aunts/uncles), I think that most people who move away from home, stay away, and become completely independent are more responsible, generally more mature, and have a greater chance for success. A valid question here is also "which comes first?" Does moving away from home lead you to become more mature/responsible/etc, or are the mature/responsible/etc individuals the ones who move away from home? In many ways, it's probably both.

However, all of that is a broad generalization, and I know that some who move back home, or who live just down the street from family can and do also become quite successful and independent. There are far worse situations in life than living with parents. Where I grew up in Guam (and many other places in the world and even within the US), it's a very common practice to live at home with your parents until you are married. I'm basically just saying that while I wouldn't want to do it myself, nor would I encourage it for my brothers, future kids, or whatever, living at home with parents isn't a terrible thing. If mom, dad, and kid are all agreeable to it, so be it -- that's just how some families work.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by kork13

A valid question here is also "which comes first?" Does moving away from home lead you to become more mature/responsible/etc, or are the mature/responsible/etc individuals the ones who move away from home?

That is a good question, but I don't think 85% of college graduates lack the maturity and responsibility to live on their own.

Originally Posted by elessar78

I enjoyed ENJOYED living at home because all I had was play money. No overhead, everything dollar was to be spent on hedonistic living.

Bingo. That's exactly the problem and for that, I blame the parents. If an adult child is living at home, that child should still have adult responsibilities - pay rent and utilities, pay for groceries, pay for gas and auto insurance and maintenance. If the parents give the kid a free ride, of course he/she will stay. Must be nice to have a full time job with zero overhead and be able to spend every penny on pizza and beer, video games, travel, movies, whatever.

[MonkeyMama]

I am curious what the statistic were before. Skimming the article, it said 67% of kids moved back home, in 2006, and rate has risen since.

Most of my middle class friends moved back home when they graduated a decade ago. I think the economy has much to do with it, but even moreso, it's a social trend.

I have been on my own, financially, since I Was 18. My MIL thought it was ridiculous that I lived on my own and my parents didn't help more. When I graduated college she said, "You are moving back home now, aren't you?" ?????? I was actually making a real wage after scrimping on minimum wage for 5 years - why on earth would I move home? But, most of my friends did, even with jobs. Of course, most of my friends (husband included) had their entire college/living expenses paid for by mommy/daddy. Of course they moved home - they had no idea how to take care of themselves. Many of my friends live at home with the 'rents, well into their 30s - still there.

I suppose if my parents didn't expect me to be self sufficient, and if they handed everything to me, I would probably just stay home, too. Why not??? When I Was 18 or 22? Of course I'd make that choice if it was easier.

[Coronet]

I guess my college friends and I are in the minority. We all graduated within the past year and all of us sans one have our own places and live independently of our parents. I wouldn't even dream of moving back in with my family unless I could not financially support myself with my job.

The one friend I have who moved back in with her family was not able to find a job as her major is oversaturated currently. She was a communication major. The rest of us were engineering or computing majors.

[DayByDay]

I have a 20yo living at home who is very responsible. He pays his share of rent, utilities, and groceries, and pays for his own expenses himself (his car, medical bills, etc.) We all get along and are being necessarily thrifty by sharing living expenses.

I would hope that nobody I know is being judgmental about it.

[disneysteve]

I wonder... of the graduates who are with mom and dad, how many lived at home during college and how many lived on campus or on their own during college? Is there a correlation between living independently during college and living independently after college?

I know that in my college days, I saw a huge difference in personal growth and maturity between my friends who went away for school and those who didn't.

[elessar78]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

I wonder... of the graduates who are with mom and dad, how many lived at home during college and how many lived on campus or on their own during college? Is there a correlation between living independently during college and living independently after college?

I know that in my college days, I saw a huge difference in personal growth and maturity between my friends who went away for school and those who didn't.

I lived on my own in college, so I don't think that was a factor. I think it was a lack of preparation for what was going to happen after I got my degree. I was serious about school and worked really hard, but I think then it becomes a scenario where I didn't see the big picture.

Getting the degree is just one aspect, but WHY I was working towards a degree a completely different thing. Of course it was to get a job, but that didn't become a part of my college experience. In retrospect, senior year should be spent gunning to lock up a job. Any job. If you wait to graduate, you're already behind the ball game as it takes time to go on interviews and get hired.

I think the adolescents the article discusses are different though. They just move back home with an indefinite time table for leaving. When I studied abroad that kind of thing was normal, not because it was cushy, but there isn't a plentitude of housing options in other countries.

Parents, if you're so inclined, need to provide a disincentive for kids to move back home. Stick them in a small room. Have them do menial chores. Make them pay rent and utilities. They'll start to see "home" as a big hassle. Plus, at least in my case, improved my relationship with my parents.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by elessar78

I think it was a lack of preparation for what was going to happen after I got my degree. I was serious about school and worked really hard, but I think then it becomes a scenario where I didn't see the big picture.

Getting the degree is just one aspect, but WHY I was working towards a degree a completely different thing. Of course it was to get a job, but that didn't become a part of my college experience. In retrospect, senior year should be spent gunning to lock up a job.

If this is not occurring, I'd at least partially blame the school. I know plenty of people who found their post-college jobs through school activities like summer internships, co-op programs, campus job fairs, etc. I think part of the college's responsibility is to help guide students into what comes next after college whether that is graduate school or the job market or the military or whatever. I was recruited to my medical school by an on-campus activity. Prior to that, I knew I wanted to go to med school but didn't know where. My niece, who graduated about 3 years ago, was recruited to her job by the employer coming on campus and selecting students to bring to their facility and offer them jobs. So if the college is not doing this, they need to be.

[MonkeyMama]

Steve - Hasn't been my experience at all.

But, I do admit my experience is probably unique as it is very cultural and also because they city I am from is so expensive (so people tend to stay home longer, just because rent is so difficult to pay until you get more established).

My experience has been people who were expected to work and be self sufficient, at all, have fared much better. Most of our friends who went away to school were never expected to work before they graduated college.

Culturally - a lot of emphasis on education - not much put on basic life skills.

I think Elessar really nails it on the head. Most of my friends got the degrees their parents wanted them to get. (A lot of pre-med and pre-law). Not only have their parents coddled them, but they just haven't got much direction. While they flounder, they are unemployed and working minimum wage jobs.

I have one REALLY Coddled friend, who got the degree that she wanted, and she does just fine - very financially responsible and independent. Which is why I think there is much to Elessar's insight. (For me, I knew what I wanted to do after school, and I had a clear path, lots of opportunities, many mentors and a clear direction).

[tripods68]

This figure probably didn't take into account different culture or race mixture. In Asian culture, grown kids are expected to take care their older parents, or their (yound adult) are expected to be living at home or near their parents home.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by tripods68

This figure probably didn't take into account different culture or race mixture.

I'm sure it doesn't account for that, but still, 85% is an extremely high number and is up from 67% just a few years ago. Surely the racial/cultural mix of students hasn't changed that much.

I'd love to know the figure for grads who moved home 20 or 30 years ago.

[elessar78]

I don't blame my university. But in retrospect my immediate department/college could've done a better job pointing us in the right direction. Instead, THEIR emphasis was on passing finals and doing well on a panel interview about our body of work. I had an internship the summer of my junior year but I didn't get out of it what I should've. My fault. But the big majors (accounting, engineering) always had events to match potential employers with upcoming graduates.

[Redraidernurse]

I think it is unfair to assume that because the unemployment rate is 15% - that should mean only 15% of college grads are without jobs. College grads are some of the people having the most difficult time trying to find jobs right now because there are jobs available - FOR EXPERIENCED employees. Very few junior level entry positions available and the ones that are gets tons of applicants.

[cptacek]

I moved home after I graduated from college because my parents asked me to. My dad had hurt his shoulder and couldn't do any farm work, so they asked me if I could literally be his right hand. I was home for three months, then went to grad school. But I tell you, my older sister must have thought I was sleeping in every day and partying all night the way she thought I was "mooching" off of them. I finally had to have dad straighten her out a bit, by saying he didn't know what he would have done if I hadn't come home. They paid me $1400 for 3 months work, but I didn't have to pay for anything other than my cell phone and my gas. I didn't have much time for anything else, though!

I moved home for a month after I graduated from grad school before my job started. Then moved 8 hours away from home.

Moving home and just staying, after getting a job, is just foreign to me. I wouldn't even think of doing that.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Redraidernurse

I think it is unfair to assume that because the unemployment rate is 15% - that should mean only 15% of college grads are without jobs.

That might be true, but still, I'm quite certain the unemployment rate is NOT 85%. There is a sociological trend occurring here that can't be explained by the job market, inflation or any other financial data. Adult children are staying with their parents by choice despite having the means to live independently.

Originally Posted by cptacek

I moved home after I graduated from college because my parents asked me to. My dad had hurt his shoulder and couldn't do any farm work, so they asked me if I could literally be his right hand.

Certainly, there are situations where having the graduate move back home is to everyone's benefit. A sick parent, a family business, an unemployed graduate, etc. I'm not knocking people who do it out of legitimate need. I just personally can't comprehend 85% of graduates moving back with mom and dad. That is way too high a figure to be explained by financial issues alone.

[cptacek]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

Certainly, there are situations where having the graduate move back home is to everyone's benefit. A sick parent, a family business, an unemployed graduate, etc. I'm not knocking people who do it out of legitimate need. I just personally can't comprehend 85% of graduates moving back with mom and dad. That is way too high a figure to be explained by financial issues alone.

Understand. 85% is just unbelievable.