The first time I became aware of a person who seemingly could not control their spending was when I was about 18. My older sister's mother-in-law was always buying the grandchildren huge expensive toys that really could not even fit into their tiny house, and which were often inappropriate for the children anyway. Like all in one year she might buy 15 giant teddy bears, acting as though the 3 year old were a collector of giant teddy bears. She bought the 2 year old one of those battery powered, kid sized cars when the 2 year old did not have the skills or the size to operate it. Then she bought a second one, saying the 3 year old needed one, too. When one child was 4 and in a body cast for most of the summer, she had delivered a nice above ground swimming pool saying, "He just looks so hot." Well, that's nice, but he can't get in it in a body cast and he doesn't know how to swim anyway. I actually bumped into her at Kmart's check out and saw in her basket all manner of boxed games and jigsaw puzzles that were way over the kids' abilities yet. She had no other grandchildren. So I'm pretty sure they were for my sister's kids. If she brought them a treat, it had to be over the top. For example, she once brought from a mall store giant cookies personalized with their names in icing., and of course one such giant cookie for each kid, even though they were each as big as family sized cakes. The girls got bombarded with way too many dresses and frilly extras' like about 100 glittery hair scrunchies and embroidered anklets. Even the boy occasionally got suits or even a tiny tux when less than 5 years old.
Well, I guess we all know or have heard about a compulsive spender. This woman just channeled a lot of her compulsions to spend on her grandkids. As the kids grew up, they sort of turned away from her. It seemed to me there was nothing there that was the basis of a loving relationship. Gramma was just someone to be tolerated and to dutifully, robotically say "thank you" to every time all these unwanted gifts appeared.
Self esteem problem? Materialism? I don't know, but there surely was something panicky about all that buying. It sure looked insane to me.
|
06-02-2008, 06:44 AM
