My biggest recommendation on an inexpensive wedding? Go rural!
My husband and I were faced with multiple family expectations for our wedding. We priced a church wedding with catered reception for approximately 100 guests in Austin, Texas - the cost would have been over $10,000.
Instead, we chose a small town halfway between our respective hometowns of Austin and Dallas - thus limiting the drive for some of our guests. Across the board, costs were signifiantly less than they would have been in the city. Costs for catering and the cake were less than half that quoted in the city - we actually had several choices, and the quality was comparable. Likewise, there were minimal fees associated with the reception hall, and the church allowed us to use their premises for free (with a close family friend of the same denomination officiating) And since we were married just after Christmas, the church was already beautifully decorated with 8 large christmas trees with lights across the dias. Costs for hair styling and manicures/pedicures for the entire bridal party the day of the wedding? $20 per person! We purchased beautiful flowers for the bridal party - but the local florist offered to reuse flowers from a town function the day prior for a minimal fee to decorate the church. We rented out two nicely appointed ajacent bed and breakfasts (8 rooms total) for the wedding party for two nights for approximately $850. Included in that price were all the fixings for the rehearsal dinner - my husband and his best man provided the steaks and we had a cook-out (we still have guest tell us how enjoyable that meal was!).
In the end we had a bigger wedding, were able to splurge on a wine bar and DJ for the reception, and still spent a fraction of what we'd expected....just by being flexible and planning our wedding outside of the city.
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Not to be a pessimist but do remember that the divorce rate is OVER 50% now!! For a lot of people the debt from the wedding/honeymoon lasts longer than the marriage. 
