What to do with Baby Shower Money?

I am pregnant. In my boyfriends family the baby shower and wedding showers all turn into a game to see who can top each other.

Now I am not complaining!

My boyfriends Sister had her baby about 5 months ago, and she was given every last thing on her registry and $$$$$$$.

Now this is will be my third child and I am not planning on registering for a bunch of stuff that I am not going to need. I also am buying whatever I can at thrift stores and online to save money. My two children were born awhile ago and 6 months ago when I got divorced I sold/donated/gifted all the baby stuff since the children and I were downsizing to a smaller living space.

I want to open a saving account or a college account with the money from the baby shower. My problem is I feel guilty that my other children do not have these things. When I started dating my boyfriend he would spoil the children but now that I am pregnant it is all about "HIS" baby.

What should I do about the money? Truthfully I am not sure how much my boyfriend really wants to be a dad, it is his family that is really excited. My ex-husband is hardly arround for our children and is always late on Child Support so I worry that may end up being that case this time around.

[creditcardfree]

Considering the instability of your relationship, I would simply save the money in a savings account or money market account as an emergency fund for you and the kids. Eventually, you may have enough to start saving for all your children.

[amarowsky]

creditcardfree sounds pretty solid on this. Depending on how stable you currently are financially you mite even consider putting a portion of the money into some more conservative investments possibly a savings/inflation/EE Bond, COD, or a money market account. So that some of your money is growing while you still have some liquid if needed.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I think you should register. I might come across as crass, but did you get pregnant immediately after meeting your boyfriend?

What will you do for child support? Do you have any ideas about drafting an agreement now prior to birth?

It does happen that sometimes one father is more responsible than another. This could be the case with your boyfriend and ex husband.

Sounds like his family is very generous. And unfortunately your other two children do have family from your ex hubby. Do they get things from them?

[Tree0164]

Originally Posted by RedThunderBird

I totally agree this advice === wish you well

Same here you may need the money.

Make sure you are getting financial support from your boyfriend as well.

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

I think you should register. I might come across as crass, but did you get pregnant immediately after meeting your boyfriend?

I actually have known my now boyfriend for longer than my ex-husband. We grew up in the same neighborhood and we started spending alot more time together during divorce process because I was spending alot of time with his mother. We hung out in the same circle during my marraige but things changed once the divorce started snowballing. I guess I am writing alot (just dont want anyone to think I cheated because I did not).

But yes I did become pregnant almost immediately once we desided to take it to that level. See he had a vacatimy about 8 years ago, I guess you are suppose to recheck those after a certain number of years. Lets just say that caused some tension between us, and there is still a little hurt there. He claimed it was my ex's and I knew for a fact it was his. But once he went back in and the dr told him his surgery needed to be redone he was extremely sorry.

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

What will you do for child support? Do you have any ideas about drafting an agreement now prior to birth?

It does happen that sometimes one father is more responsible than another. This could be the case with your boyfriend and ex husband.

Sounds like his family is very generous. And unfortunately your other two children do have family from your ex hubby. Do they get things from them?

Right now we have a verbal agreement for support of unborn baby, I am locked into a lease aggrement so even if we wanted to he to he could not move in and I am not breaking the lease early. I have miscarried twice in the past so I guess I dont want to put anything in writing so that I dont jinx the pregnancy.

My boyfriends family is very generous, his mom was so helpful to me when I was going through my divorce. She and my godmother are best friends. The family of my ex-husband are angry that we divorced and think it is all my fault and that the ex is perfect, so they have sort of disowned the children.

[mom-from-missouri]

I saved all of my baby shower money from each baby and put it into a savings account that had the babies name and my name on it. To this day they each still have those accounts with around $800 in each one. I also added all their birthday money until they were around 4 years old, or old enough to know how to spend it. They also have several savings bonds each that were shower/birthday gifts.

[PrincessPerky]

Ditto put it in a 'kids' account. don't feel you have to keep it all separate, but do try to be fair if you manage not to need it till the oldest is college age. (IE don't spend it all on the first college degree)

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'd keep it separate for the child whose money it's supposed to be.

[Goldy1]

I didn't have this problem when I just had my first child with my husband of 7 years. I got some gifts, and maybe $300 in cash so there was no dilemma. I thought baby showers were more for first time moms. I guess not anymore. That's ok.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Originally Posted by Goldy1

I thought baby showers were more for first time moms. I guess not anymore. That's ok.

Well, there is another first time parent involved in this: the Dad. I know the barriers are not completely broken down, but Dads these days are more apt to attend a shower than ever before. And the Dad's family is happy about the baby. Many people love helping to provide for a new baby, regardless of how many siblings there already are.

I think baby showers are about sharing the happiness and supporting the parents with baby's needs in a joyful way. It sounds like this baby is coming into a slightly needy situation, what with the siblings not having monetary support from their own father. That means resources will be spread thinner. A shower for the new baby might really help. It is not about propriety and ideas in an etiquette book; It is about unconditional love for the baby.