Behind on Mortgage for months?

[boothev]

I know, we really got off track. Mortgage first!

I was just afraid my housing-to-income ratio was too high for our household income. I wondered if not having car debt, allowed someone to take on a higher ratio in house. But I almost spend enough in gas as other people do in car payments!

Mortgage first! Gazelle instensity!

I wondered how other people remain one month behind in mortgage payments for six months at a time. Do mortgage companies have bigger fish to fry than going after these people?

[rdeel2000]

I have been reading posts here for some time but this is the first time I have been moved to reply. I have never been behind on my mortgage but I can imagine how scary that must be. I do know that it takes great determination and focus to get from where you are to where you want to be. I wanted to offer these suggestions:

1. I agree that you need a cell phone for emergency use. Virgin Mobile has a pre-paid program that costs only $5 a month to keep your phone in service. Use it only for emergencies, chat with friends and family on the land line using pre-paid phone cards. This will require the purchase of a phone but they have a very inexpensive model available or check eBay for a used one. Savings of $55.

http://www.virginmobileusa.com/myvir...ent-options.do

2. I would pull the kids out of preschool for an immediate savings of $100 month. I know society dictates that this is necessary but with Dad at home it is not. Print age appropriate worksheets from the internet or buy workbooks and let Dad be their teacher.

3. Drop the cable and save another $55 a month. Learn to use your local library for free entetainment, check out books and videos, take the children to storytime.

4. If you know you have a problem with spending, stay out of the stores, you can't spend the money if you aren't in the store. Make a list and send your husband to shop for you.

5. Instead of saving the tip money to eat out, use it to pay toward the mortgage. Use eating out as a once a month reward for staying on track and catching up on the mortgage.

6. Learn the difference between a "need" and a "want" and only spend money on the needs. Live byt the motto "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without".

Now take that $210 in savings and add it to whatever you can scrape together and get that mortgage paid up to date. You will then see an immediate increase in income due to not paying late fees and extra interest. As soon as you are there, reinstate the 401K to take advatage of that free money. I wish you the best of luck, I know you can do this.

[Gailete]

You really do need to know exactly how much is coming in and how much is going out. By your numbers, I'm not sure how you got behind on your mortgage as your income supports the mortgage payment. But since you are behind, if I read things right, your need for gazelle like intensity is right. Cancel that cable, cancel that insurance, except for your long commute I would think about canceling your cell phone, at least look for a cheaper landline carrier, AND at the risk of being blasted into outer space--cancel preschool. You have a stay at home parent who can spend time with the prescooler teaching them what they need to know. Frequent trips to the library will help, plus investigating homeschool resources on the internet.

Your most important needs are keeping a roof over your head, nutritious food in the belly and reasonable clothes on yourselves. Everything else is negotiable.

Track your spending-boring I know-and find the leaks in spending habits. If you smoke or drink-quit, If you buy treats for yourselves and kids-quit. Until your mortgage is caught up, anything not needed needs to go. Drive whichever car gets the best mileage.

Gail

[boothev]

Thanks, I just needed to see this in print. Thanks for saying my income can handle the mortgage, I thought I was in over my head, but the real problem is me. I need to make my dollars behave. I let my budget happen to me and I need to make my budget happen.

The last couple of weeks, I have just stayed at home and "pretended" I was broke. I keep drilling into my head some paraphrase, "A dollar saved in my pocket is worth more than a dollar spent outside the home." Isn't that how it goes?

Last night I made spaghetti and I calculated in my head: "$4 for ground beef, $1 jar of sauce, $1 for noodles, meal = $6. A meal at McD's for a family of four $16." It REALLY made sense and it helped me think of other meals. And the family LOVED it!

Thanks everyone.

[Tree0164]

It sounds like you are starting to get a plan together. I am glad that you are reading Dave Ramsey and it sounds like you are getting the lingo- gazelle instensity.

I agree with Terry continue with 401K contribuations but really look at what else can be cut. I second getting rid of the cell phone and using a prepaid one. You can get out of the finanical mess-writing it down and becoming aware is so important.

Good luck!

[Gailete]

Just a thought that might help you keep track of where money is coming and going. Years ago when I was married to exH we were in horrible debt ($40,000+ not including mortgage or car payments ), I was obviously having trouble balancing my budget and prioritizing bills. I found a simple solution that worked for me to keep me on the straight and narrow. I had a large legal sized tablet (now I use a spiral notebook that I got for 10 cents) and mentally divided it into 4 sections as we were paid weekly. I put the date of pay day at the top of each section and then as bills came in, I wrote them down according to when they needed to be sent in to avoid a late charge--say a bill was due on the 10th, it would be written done under the 2nd or 3rd of the month to allow for mailing time. Mortgage, utility bills, etc all got listed. You could tell at a glance how much was needed to pay the bills for that week AND assuming you have a 'light' bill week, you can look ahead to the next week and realize that you have the mortgage to pay so what looks like 'extra' money, really needs left in the bank to pay your mortgage on time.

I have been doing this for about 10 years now and still have all my back tablets and notebooks. Every December I take a calendar for the next year and write all the dates in my notebook and then look through the past year to see when those 'surprise' bills like car insurance, life insurance, etc. comes due. I write those in in the appropriate month even though I don't know how much they will be...I KNOW they are coming!

Even though I am remarried, I receive SSD and my husband is self employed with a sporadic income, this still works for me. I pay the bills in time to avoid late charges but leave the money in the bank till needed to earn interest. I can go back and check on what things costs in previous years and it helps me estimate what our expenses will be.

Oh yes, in the process of getting rid of the ex, the house was sold and 'my' share of the bills were paid off. HE however was already in debt over $60,000 by then! Guess who the spender in the family was?

Hope this is of some help to you and others. Very easy, especially if you set aside one day of the week to bill paying and financial upkeep. I do it on Wednesdays and then run errands, etc. with a fresh idea of what is in the bank.


Gail

[jmjj215]

I'm glad that spaghetti dinner was loved by all. Liberating (and healthier) isn't it? Way to go on taking the necessary steps, one foot at a time.

[34saving]

Actually, depending on your tax rate and the like, a dollar saved is worth about $1.33 earned. (To go along with your dollar in the pocketbook . . .)

[boothev]

Well, my DH made $40 in tips EACH NIGHT the last two nights. I deposited $80 into the bank this morning. No more cash around the house. I want to document what is coming in and it is easier for me to see in while checking online with my bank.

That was $80 in two nights. He works about 4 nights per week and let's it be known to the managers to CALL HIM FIRST if someone calls off of work.

Maybe he makes a lot more in tips than I give him credit for? I thought we could only count on $100 a week, but I will be happy to be wrong!

Thanks everyone! He works tonight as well. Saturday nights can be his best tip night!

[mom-from-missouri]

Originally Posted by Gailete

I found a simple solution that worked for me to keep me on the straight and narrow. I had a large legal sized tablet (now I use a spiral notebook that I got for 10 cents) and mentally divided it into 4 sections as we were paid weekly. I put the date of pay day at the top of each section and then as bills came in, I wrote them down according to when they needed to be sent in to avoid a late charge--say a bill was due on the 10th, it would be written done under the 2nd or 3rd of the month to allow for mailing time.
Gail

I do the same thing basically, but I use an 18 month calendar that I get from the dollar store. I like the 18 month one, because I can look back and compare bills to previous months. I just write the bill and the amount due on the date, and make sure I mail it several days before. However, the majority of my bills come directly billed to my VISA, which is actually a debit card-but I don't use the pin on it. That way, I earn cash rewards from my bank, it comes right out of my checking, so no late fees, no interest, and if I am out of town, I know its paid.

[Snoopy2645]

I would try to change what you can drop at least one cell & maybe sale a car if dh works opposite of you maybe it wont be much of a problem & you could get a clunker for now until the mortgage is paid up!!

I would then transfer that cc to 0% & pay it off. It sounds like you are in the same sorta situation we are though we also have an almost 2 yr old & a 4 yr old so I cant work FT we would pay out more in daycare than it would be worth so I work pt making about same as your dh what I have done to supplement the income since I dont make very much is I sale a little on ebay I coupon alot & do refunds I hope this helps you I also do surveys & mystery shops & merchandise anything to help you know!!

I know it was mentioned already about dds preschool to that maybe something to think about also at least for now you could see about taking her to the library for different free activities like storytime & things like that.

[mom-from-missouri]

Can you borrow against your 401K at work to get the mortgage caught up and maybe pay off some other bills? Where I work, a loan from my 401K, I pay back with only 4% interest, but that interest goes into my account. I know it will lower your paycheck, but, it could also equal out if you then had other bills you were no longer paying because you paid them off with it. Also, you could possibly stretch the payments out over several years to keep your paycheck up there. Also, 401K loans are auto deducted from your paycheck, so you can't get behind on those. After you are caught up, you may also investigate the possibility of have your house payment auto deducted--it would work like this-- If you get paid 2 times a month, have half of your housepayment put into a savings or credit union account. Then, on the due date, have your mortgage company auto deduct the payment from that account. Use that account for nothing else, till you have your spending and bills under control. You wont have to put the payment all out of one check that way, and it will always be paid on time with no late fees. That is how mine works, but out of my checking account-it auto deducts from my debit VISA card. I have never been late since doing it this way, and it earns a little interest. Since it hits my VISA debit card, without using the pin, I also get the points for the cash back program.

[PrincessPerky]

If you pull the kids out of preschool (as a home educator I am highly in favor of it .)

try:
www.starfall.com

for really cool phonics site, great for learning letters and sounds
Also go look at ther forum, short but there are many links to enchanted learning and reading lessons and a few math sites (the math sites online are too advanced for even my first grader mostly, but the worksheets you can print are nice.)

Also

www.primarygames.com

Lots of great games, including an easter color mixing one, and several that keep me glued to the computer . Only trouble is they are not categorized by difficulty, so it takes a bit of time to search out which ones you want. If you pm me I will send you the links specifically to the ones my DS (3yo) plays. (click my name on the post it should let you pm me)

[cercis]

I would say, before you pull the kids out of preschool, examine the personality of your dh. Is he social? Would he be likely to take your child to the park and other events? Can he take him/her to the library reading time, or does the younger child make it too difficult (and conversely, does the older child make it too difficult)? I found that even though my kids are close together (22 months) we couldn't participate in story hour at the library because they were insistent that ONLY the kids in the correct age group could attend and no younger or older siblings were allowed, but that a parent HAD to be there.

My kids were in preschool even when we were going into debt for it because I am not social. Social situations make me so uncomfortable that I often get sick. The only social event we did was la leche league 2x/month and I was able to do that because they were women who didn't judge anything about me. I found the mothers at the park to be extremely judgmental and many of them would call their kids over when my kids tried to play with them.

Preschool was their only social outlet. And it worked well for my 7yo. He's now one of the most confident and outgoing and well-liked kids in his class. This works out well because he wants to be president someday.

[boothev]

Originally Posted by cercis

I would say, before you pull the kids out of preschool, examine the personality of your dh. Is he social? Would he be likely to take your child to the park and other events? Can he take him/her to the library reading time, or does the younger child make it too difficult (and conversely, does the older child make it too difficult)? I found that even though my kids are close together (22 months) we couldn't participate in story hour at the library because they were insistent that ONLY the kids in the correct age group could attend and no younger or older siblings were allowed, but that a parent HAD to be there.

My kids were in preschool even when we were going into debt for it because I am not social. Social situations make me so uncomfortable that I often get sick.

My DH's social style does make a difference here. I am goal oriented and make "appointments" with myself to get certain things done. My DH operates on "inspiratation". [And this is what I got from about 10 months of counseling for myself! I love the guy dearly, but we just operate differently.]

Where does this leave us? If he doesn't HAVE to take the kids to story time at the library, he may NOT do it on a day when he isn't INSPIRED to. Preschool is different. In our mind, this is the whole reason we made the decision for him to be a SAHD - To get the kids where they needed to go.

Preschool is only MWF, from 9 to 11:30 am, so it isn't every day, all day. It is the ONE thing my DD can count on in her week with DH.

Again, I love the guy dearly. Without him, I would be way too serious and wound up tight. Without me, hmmmm, I guess he would be with a loser girlfriend and probably still drinking. (8 years sober last June!)

SATURDAY's TIPS = $35.

That is a grand total of $115 for 3 nights work.

Tonight, DH was not scheduled, but is filling in for someone else! Yay! He is killing it and dragging it home and I am praising him all the way!

Well, I am off to think about the budget and plan a Crockpot BBQ Chicken meal for tomorrow night.

Thanks everyone!

[boothev]

Good News!

My check for one month's payment was cashed! I am officially only 2 payments behind and will make another payment in less than 2 weeks!

Full speed ahead with the plan!

Valerie

[mom-from-missouri]

Good for you!!!

[Tree0164]

Wonderful Valerie!

Now just focus focus focus! You can do it.

[PrincessPerky]

Awesome!

Congrats to the DH on sober

And flyby is how I do most of my twos education (with a checkup just in case)
You could be the check up, he could be the inspired 'teachable moments type'