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Old 04-18-2017, 07:30 PM
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Default Any saving strategies for a guy who is going out on dates?

Just put myself back on the market and was wondering is it possible to date and save at the same time.
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Old 04-19-2017, 01:33 AM
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Try to Automate everything you can.

The more you can automate the process, the less you will think about it, and the easier it will become. For example, if you manually transfer $500 from your checking account to a brokerage account or a savings account, not only do you have to remember to do so (and have to fight the temptation to spend it on something else), but your mind registers the transfer as a loss. Money you can't use now. It feels quite dissatisfying. If everything is automatic and budgeted for, you can learn to think of it as money that was never available to you to spend elsewhere. The only things that become "losses" are the un-budgeted items.
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saver17 View Post
is it possible to date and save at the same time.
Of course it's possible.

SAVE FIRST! Don't spend blindly and plan to save what's left. Save first and spend what remains.

If living within your means and saving for the future is important to you, then you want a partner who shares those views. The ones who expect to be wined and dined and showered with gifts aren't the ones you want to be dating. You need to find the ones who are happy spending time with someone and doing fun things together that don't necessarily cost a ton of money - cooking a meal together at home, renting a movie from Redbox, taking a hike, going on a bike ride with a picnic lunch, attending a free concert at the local park, taking in a show at the local high school or college, etc.
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:45 AM
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It's definitely possible to date and still save/invest at the same time. Just takes a little more discipline, and pay yourself first.

Call me cheap, but when I'd do first dates, I always met for coffee or happy hour for drinks, etc. Kept it simple. If there was no chemistry, I'm only out for the cost of coffee and an hour or two. I have friends who spent a bunch of money on dinner, movie/performance, and drinks afterwards all for a first date. The later complain the date wasn't interesting or really interested in them.

If things get a little more serious, as others mentioned, cooking a meal at home, watching movies, or even checking out more activities/local performance. Or Netflix and Chill. Not all dates have to be expensive or extravagant.
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:58 AM
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OP you're overthinking this. What kind of date do you have in mind that will make you go broke? A simple dinner or meeting for drinks/coffee isnt that much. Dating is a dog and pony show...make no mistake. I dont know a single person on earth whos been with someone for a long time that acts the way they did when they first met.

Heres a tip...dont take your first date to a place where you cant talk. Movie, play, concert, etc.
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Old 04-19-2017, 11:22 AM
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first tip is not to date.

second tip is to keep dates cheap, such as going out for coffee or something of that nature. don't do anything elaborate and don't pick up the entire bill. If he/she isn't happy with that arrangement, then might not be the best person to start a relationship with.
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Old 04-19-2017, 12:21 PM
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So I was talking about saving money and dating and thought up the most mind blowing idea ever.

You know how it's pretty much a date suicide for the guy to use a coupon on the first date?

How awesome would it be if there is a plot twist such that the GIRL brings the coupon on the first date for the guy (without the guy knowing of course)?!
Changes everything...the girl I suggested this wasn't too fond of it..but every guy I spoke too said that would just blow their mind. "Instant keeper" is what every guy would rate that girl.
The guys thought this plot twist shows that the girl is thoughtful and not afraid of using coupons/saving money.
The girl however thought of it as "if I do that, then I feel I am looking down at the guy..as if the guy can't afford the meal without the coupon". Maybe?...really depends on the guy.

Try this out even if you also want to be a stealthy gold digger as well
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Old 04-19-2017, 12:23 PM
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Dutch Treat!!
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Old 04-19-2017, 12:24 PM
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It's spring which means more chance to be outside. Street food is an inexpensive but often tasty lunch and gives you a chance to walk and talk or sit in a park. Going for a drink can also keep the bill low.

Honestly, its been over a decade since I dated, but I can't be the only woman who really does not appreciate having a stranger buy me a meal in exchange for my time.

If it is someone whose time I enjoy and who I know enjoys my time and they want to treat me to something nice not just do it because it is expected, that is another story. But until I know someone I would much rather pay my own way. This is actually how I dated DH and all of the guys I dated in college, and while I know it may be a rare breed, I cannot be the only one.
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Old 04-19-2017, 01:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Singuy View Post
So I was talking about saving money and dating and thought up the most mind blowing idea ever.

You know how it's pretty much a date suicide for the guy to use a coupon on the first date?

How awesome would it be if there is a plot twist such that the GIRL brings the coupon on the first date for the guy (without the guy knowing of course)?!
Changes everything...the girl I suggested this wasn't too fond of it..but every guy I spoke too said that would just blow their mind. "Instant keeper" is what every guy would rate that girl.
The guys thought this plot twist shows that the girl is thoughtful and not afraid of using coupons/saving money.
The girl however thought of it as "if I do that, then I feel I am looking down at the guy..as if the guy can't afford the meal without the coupon". Maybe?...really depends on the guy.

Try this out even if you also want to be a stealthy gold digger as well
yeah, despite the whole "equality" thing, there are huge differences in the way the average man and woman views things. The average non-frugal daters views men as utilities, and the more he spends on her, the higher value she assigns to him, and the more willing she is to continue to date him. it's kind of a twisted society in that if a man brings a 50%off on 2 entrees coupon to a date or asks to split the bill, he'd be viewed negatively. Frugality is rarely lauded among the masses though, while spending in excess is.

hopefully I'm not opening a can of worms here, where people will take my comment personally. Note that I'm not saying ALL men or ALL women fit my example above.
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Old 04-19-2017, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Mjenn View Post

Honestly, its been over a decade since I dated, but I can't be the only woman who really does not appreciate having a stranger buy me a meal in exchange for my time.
you're not the only one, although a rare breed, so to speak.

the dating world nowadays is pretty twisted actually. women going on endless first dates for freebies, guys trying to score as quickly as possible, then move on to the next woman. could be viewed as non-cash prostitution like what's going on with the whole sugar daddy websites. all symptoms of the hookup culture in today's society.

Last edited by ~bs; 04-19-2017 at 02:18 PM.
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Old 04-20-2017, 10:21 AM
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Groupon, or groupon-like sites, have a lot of dating options. Sometimes you can pay for it ahead of time and the date will not even know you used a groupon. The only time I minded when a date brought a coupon was when I had to order a certain meal for him to use the coupon. It was bourbon coated everything, and I hate bourbon. But I liked the guy, so...

Think of things where you can bring your own food/snacks/drinks so you can control costs. Hiking, drive-ins (there are still some out there), outdoorsy things are good as long as you don't forget sunscreen and bug spray. Several of the towns around me have movie night where you pack some snacks and a blanket and watch a movie outside with a crowd of other people. I was able to thin the herd quite efficiently with movies. If they tended to yell, "Don't open the door!!" to the screen, or stand up and clap at a good scene, etc, that would be the end of it. Or sneaking in alcohol, or worse, drugs. Otherwise, it is good to keep it short and simple. I hated when guys would plan a dinner, movie, drinks or ice cream afterward, etc. Not only are you stuck with someone you don't know for hours, but I would think "What is this guy expecting from me if he is spending so much". A simple afternoon coffee or lunch is plenty of time to get to know someone.
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Old 04-20-2017, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~bs View Post

the dating world nowadays is pretty twisted actually. women going on endless first dates for freebies, guys trying to score as quickly as possible, then move on to the next woman. could be viewed as non-cash prostitution like what's going on with the whole sugar daddy websites. all symptoms of the hookup culture in today's society.
What exactly is the problem with that? If both parties consent...both parties are just looking for a good night...why is that an issue? Is it better for those people to get married and cheat on their spouses? I dont understand why sex/nudity is so taboo in our culture.

And this is coming from someone who never went the route of pump and dump.
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Old 04-20-2017, 01:42 PM
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it's probably not a problem, as long as it's mutual. only a problem if one party thinks they actually may get some commitment, and instead gets stiffed for a freebie dinner or get pumped and dumped. Since in dating, both parties put on their best face and are basically acting, it's very hard to tell. So yeah, I do think overall it's a problem.

this may open an entirely new can of worms, but as far as your "sex/nudity being taboo thing" I think prostitution should be legalized and regulated. That way if the guy wants sex, and the girl wants resources, there's no need for the entire charade and gamesplaying. They can just do a straight up transaction.
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Old 04-20-2017, 11:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Singuy View Post
So I was talking about saving money and dating and thought up the most mind blowing idea ever.

You know how it's pretty much a date suicide for the guy to use a coupon on the first date?

How awesome would it be if there is a plot twist such that the GIRL brings the coupon on the first date for the guy (without the guy knowing of course)?!
Changes everything...the girl I suggested this wasn't too fond of it..but every guy I spoke too said that would just blow their mind. "Instant keeper" is what every guy would rate that girl.
The guys thought this plot twist shows that the girl is thoughtful and not afraid of using coupons/saving money.
The girl however thought of it as "if I do that, then I feel I am looking down at the guy..as if the guy can't afford the meal without the coupon". Maybe?...really depends on the guy.

Try this out even if you also want to be a stealthy gold digger as well

Ingenious! I love this idea especially the buy one get one free types of deals.
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Old 04-20-2017, 11:34 PM
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Originally Posted by ~bs View Post
yeah, despite the whole "equality" thing, there are huge differences in the way the average man and woman views things. The average non-frugal daters views men as utilities, and the more he spends on her, the higher value she assigns to him, and the more willing she is to continue to date him. it's kind of a twisted society in that if a man brings a 50%off on 2 entrees coupon to a date or asks to split the bill, he'd be viewed negatively. Frugality is rarely lauded among the masses though, while spending in excess is.

hopefully I'm not opening a can of worms here, where people will take my comment personally. Note that I'm not saying ALL men or ALL women fit my example above.
This is very true indeed.
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Old 04-21-2017, 06:31 AM
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First order of business is to not spend more than what you can afford. Nothing wrong with splurging for a night out on the town now and then, but don't get in $$ trouble doing it.

I don't like the ideas about coupons and splitting the bill. You could come across as a real cheapskate. Would rather see you do less costly things and have you go ahead and cover any costs.

Cook / entertain at home rather than dining out. You can get a way better quality meal and drinks at a fraction of the price doing it yourself -vs- going to a restaurant and buying it. Example - We had ribeye steak and shrimp with all the fixins and cocktails one night this week for ourselves and another couple. Bet we didn't have more than about $15 apiece in that meal & drinks. Would cost $45 apiece at a restaurant.

There are many things you can do for nearly free; hiking, bike riding, spend a day at the lake or beach, campfire, watch movies or listen to music, share your hobbies, etc.
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Old 04-21-2017, 06:57 AM
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^

Assuming typical non-frugal people, that strategy only work when you're pretty deep into the dating the individual when "nights-in" and cooking meals is acceptable. In that case, you're leaning heavier towards being a couple than daters (congratulations!).

If the concern is appearing to be a real cheapskate, my impression is that taking a date out to a steak place, and busting out a coupon isn't as cheap looking as telling her, lets go shopping to get our select steak and bottle wine from the grocery store, spend an hour cooking them up at home, mashing our own potatoes, and prepare our own veggies. That is perfectly acceptable for the average couple or perhaps daters that both enjoy cooking. But normally, for the average person, you aren't at that stage yet when you're still dating.

I do agree that outdoorsy activities are good for dates on the assumption that he/she and you are outdoorsy type people.

Last edited by ~bs; 04-21-2017 at 07:02 AM.
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