Husband Help!

[ruka420]

I am new here, just signed up yesterday. Anyway, I've had a great time reading some posts yesterday and found out that there are people in the world just like me, I love to save money. Here's my problem my husband loves to spend money. We both work full time and care for two kids who are both in daycare, what a killer. I have tried to sit him down and explain how important it is to tell me how much money he spends in a day, he does well for a week or so, but then falls off the wagon. He eats out almost everyday, I take my lunch to work. He will go and see movies without talking to me about it, I have almost had enough of this and need help!

Adrienne

[cicy33]

I would try to give him a certain amount of cash on monday and tell him that is all there is. If you have extra in the account, take it out and open a savings account or pay extra bills. I have a similar problem and when the account gets low I get blunt, I actually say STAY OUT OF THE CHECKBOOK, and tell him there is NOTHING in it. Make him budget what he spends. Quick question, going to the movies is like a two hour experience minimum, does he go when you are at work? Maybe he could be convinced to rent a few movies. Seems if he has time to do it at the movies he could do it at home and perhaps even eat there!! I wish you all the luck. The final way that I would go is to close the check account and reopen one in your name and one in his and let him figure it out on his own. I hope it gets better! and they say women spend too much.

[ruka420]

Thanks for the help, about the movie deal, well he has flex hours and if he has time in the middle of the day to see a movie he will, or if I go to run errands on the weekends and take the girls with me he is off at the movies. I guess the movies are better than other places!

[cicy33]

Perhaps, but VERY expensive. I hate going to the movies and only go when I really, really want to see the movie before it hits video. I can't believe what they charge. Would he use free tickets? maybe you could look into ways to get free movie tickets. I see those around alot.

[mjrube94]

I'm in the same boat as you, ruka420. There is no way my husband is going to account for his every dime...My 3 suggestions:
1) I completely endorse the "allowance" idea. Hubby and I both get them on Monday, and it needs to last through the week. If he has anything leftover at week's end, he keeps it in an envelope in his drawer. If he goes overboard another week, he dips into his envelope for the extra.
2) I find it most productive to go after all of my money-saving ideas that don't require a major change in his lifestyle (e.g., change phone plans, insurance companies, etc.). As long as it doesn't impact him, he's very supportive. The problem for me now is that the only ideas I have left would impact him big-time (e.g., cutting down satellite, major menu changes, etc.).
3) Open up a savings account and fund it with all of the money you save by making these changes. Before you know it, you'll have a few hundred dollars in there or more. When he sees how it adds up, he may come around a bit.

[PrincessPerky]

I think DH and I have come a long way, but we started 6 years ago, I didn't become anti spending overnight, he isn't eihter.

Back when we first got together, if I didn't pack his lunch he didnn't take it. If I didn't have a fun free activity, he had one that cost. Now we both pack and both come up with cheaper ways to cook, entertain, ect. But it was never overnight.

[terry1156]

It will be a long process and you need to look at every little step as a success. I would go about it by working on certain areas. If you can get him into the habit of not spending on movies (my wife actually cured me of this by creating a movie night for us - yes, it cost money to rent the video, but less than going out to see a movie). If you take it in steps, I think he'll eventually come around - at least to some degree.

[Tree0164]

Baby steps and communication are key. My husband can spend very lose as well and I often have to rein him in. What helps is that I review the budget with him and our goals.

We both have allowances-how much $$ do we need.