Breaking Habits

[crosses]

I have a number of habits that don't go well with saving money (I like to eat out a lot, etc) and there are weeks and even months where I do really well and discipline myself and save a lot of money not doing them. Then something comes along and for some reason I get back into the bad habit again.

How do you break those bad habits. Is it like alcoholism where it's never really gone and you just have to be concious not to do it?

[srace]

I love to eat out, but I know I cant do it as much if I want to save money, so I reward myself. I will eat out at a restaurant 1 a month and get what I want and that is it. If you cut it out totally then you will not stick with it.

[jacquelynrose]

I try hard not to eat out and spend money. Right now I sell AVON and I am just spending ALOT of my Profit-which is really bad because I am half way to my goal of Saving for a Car.

I think the best way is to think about what you want and remember at that point that you are spending as is to why you shouldn't be spending.

Jacquelyn

[PrincessPerky]

Some habits are cold turkey ones (smoking) some are reward for patience ones (eating out) some I comprimise.

I personally hate pnut butter sandwhiches, but going to the kids ped means we have to pack food, and the only food easy to pack that is safe if needed to be eaten and stored in the car (though we try to avoid that) is pb no J. so I eat it, about monthly these days. Anyway my reward for not eating it all out is I get to have frys after the sandwhich is gone (at the mall and shared with family)

For not smoking I don't hang out with smokers and I don't go near convenice stores (where I used to buy them, old old habit, like 5 years quitish)

For Handwahing dishes (dishwasher now works but only with the ultra expensive soap) I get to shower ALONE! (major reward for a mom) as soon as the last load is done at night. (DH takes DC's to bath in the other tub). I also use it for special occasions (last night DH filled it, he doesn't hand wash but he can fill a Dishwasher, mothers day reward)

[jmjj215]

To avoid eating out I have to plan ahead - make sure groceries are purchased and make sure my lunches are packed. Pre-cooking a lunch for the entire week really helps with this - and I get the economies of scale built in to bulk cooking also.

[DivaJen]

For me, breaking habits means creating new ones that lead to the results I'm looking for. If I want to go out for lattes less often, for example, then I need to create habits at home that make it more likely and easier for me to enjoy a good cup of coffee right here. Buy good quality coffee, stay stocked on coffee filters, keep all supplies together so making the coffee takes a minimal amount of time and effort...

I think being conscious of the changes you want to make is important. With spending, we're always making choices. When I go out to dinner, I'm making a choice to do so. Now, if I have nothing appealing at home to eat, it makes going out for food loook more like a need than a want. But if I made a point of having some good food inthe house and some sort of plan for how to prepare it, then going out to eat looks more like the luxury that it is.

Overcoming bad sopending habits is sort of akin to overcoming an eating disorder. You can't go cold turkey. Everyone needs to eat; likewise, everyone needs to spend. So the task becomes learning to spend when you need to and stop when you're done - i.e. the needs have been met. (to use an eating analogy)

[ofekslayer]

It all seems very easy, but whenever a friend of mine asks me if I want to eat out, I just say yes!!! I don't go out much, and when I do, I go to restaurants. It's a big part of having fun in life. Take that away - what are you left with? Work, work work and more work???? I find it extremely difficult to cut on my expenses (and I haven't begun talking about saving...).
I'm a really big spender, could use any advice, thanks.

[kashi]

ofekslayer, I hear ya. I do the same thing. It's hard to say no to friends, especially when you rarely see them. Lately I've been trying to guide them into coming over to my house for dinner, or setting up potlucks where we all bring something. I've also been talking about saving money and cutting back a lot, and it's rubbing off a bit on some of them. I guess you could try to concentrate on the enjoyment of spending time with your friend, and cut back on exactly what you eat or drink at the restaurant. Appetizers are cheaper and filling, water with a lemon is free, desserts are overpriced...and really, you're just there to gab. Talk more, eat less.

[PrincessPerky]

Sounds a bit like spening = fun to you Ofekslayer, which isn't always true. I didn't find spending money on my dental work fun

Anyway it might help to look at frugal fun, and try to move the focus. (Kashis idea of getting the friends to your house is a good one, I have company once or twice a month for the whole purpose of not feeling like I should go out, and everyone usually helps with the clean up)

[neatdesign]

Sounds like I'm not the only one with a weakness for eating out -- I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing! LOL But at least I don't feel as foolish about it now. For a few months there we got in the habit of eating out 2-4 times a week -- ouch. Talk about a big hit to the wallet.

So we're working on controlling that now by going back to our previous custom of having a weekly date night (or, in our case, a date day!). We'd go to a matinee movie ($12) and then go have a meal somewhere ($20-30). Doing that once a week for $45 bucks a pop is a lot better than 2-4 meals a week at $20-30 each! (And now at least we get to see a movie, too!)

The other part of breaking this eating-out habit is by having a planned menu for each day of the week and sticking to that menu's shopping list. If we know that we have salmon & rice every Thursday, then when Thursday comes we don't end up saying "What do YOU feel like eating?" or "What do we have to eat for dinner tonight?" We have already obtained the ingredients in advance so there's no excuse for going out to eat instead.

So far this new approach seems to be working well. We're still occasionally getting in an extra take-out meal, but it's usually Subway when we have coupons. Two full value meals - 2 footlong subs, 2 drinks & 2 chips - for under $10, not too bad (although not the healthiest thing, I know!).

~ Jenney

[ofekslayer]

Originally Posted by kashi

ofekslayer, I hear ya. I do the same thing. It's hard to say no to friends, especially when you rarely see them. Lately I've been trying to guide them into coming over to my house for dinner, or setting up potlucks where we all bring something. I've also been talking about saving money and cutting back a lot, and it's rubbing off a bit on some of them. I guess you could try to concentrate on the enjoyment of spending time with your friend, and cut back on exactly what you eat or drink at the restaurant. Appetizers are cheaper and filling, water with a lemon is free, desserts are overpriced...and really, you're just there to gab. Talk more, eat less.

Kashi thanks for the advice. However, I live in a one bedroom apartment, and I'm not sure just how comfortable it is for my friends to come over, but that's not really the problem. The problem is I can't find the guts (or let's just say I feel shy) to ask them to bring stuff with them. And I've had friends coming over, and I ended up spending more money on cheeses and bread and olives, and other stuff, than I would have spent in a restaurant. About the water with lemon...I don't know. I just can't imagine going to a restaurant and ordering water with lemon. I'd rather be sitting at home.

[ofekslayer]

[quote=PrincessPerky]Sounds a bit like spening = fun to you Ofekslayer, which isn't always true. I didn't find spending money on my dental work fun

Spending money at the dentist is not considered spending-FYI. Spending money on clothes, bags, shoes and accessories=A LOT OF FUN!!!!

[kashi]

I live in a 1BR apartment too (though I am looking for a bigger one now). My friends and I always end up having our gatherings at my house because it's the most central. My friends aren't made of money and they are willing to admit that, so they seem relieved to just bring one thing (dessert, or breadsticks, or whatever) to contribute and still have a full meal. I have a pretty big stockpile of food so it's not a big deal for me to contribute the spaghetti and sauce or whatever we're having. And we have more fun making margaritas at my house than we do drinking them in a noisy restaurant where we can't even hear each other.

Bottom line, your mindset has to change if you want to save money. Unfortunately you can't keep doing what you've always been doing to get anywhere with saving money...I'm learning that the hard way.

[ofekslayer]

You are so right, what can I say...I don't know, sometimes I think I'm not the kind of person who knows how to handle him money...oh boy!
I don't know what I'll do; I guess I'll stick around here some more, maybe some of your saving habits will rub off on me...hopefully...
Thanks, though...

[baselle]

I've found that the best way to break a bad spending habit is to supplant it with a good spending habit.

Also, if you have any success - any savings or you've reduced your debt in some way - write it down along with the date on a slip of paper/post-it and put it in your wallet, preferably in front of your credit card or debit card. When you're tempted, look at it. Reminding yourself of even a small success should help you.