Has anyone been approached for a loan?

[PetMom]

We are known for having paid for cars, in home a while (smaller house payment), no college kids, obviously do not live a lavish lifestyle - and I have asked that SO not mention our savings.

Well someone lost their work recently, just laid off that knows us.

The safety nets will kick in but they don't immediately - no savings at all.

We were asked for a loan or some money - then heard the spending habits and really nice things this family has. Designer clothing, meals out at really good restaurants often,
a brand new car (asked for car payment which I balked at and we said no).

In other words they have things we don't dare buy to have an emergency fund.

We gave only $60.00 but I was irritated by the fact I have not purchased anything nice in order to have an ER. Asked for more but at this point: polite NO.

Any other savers, as most of us are, been approached for an interest free probably not going to get paid back 'loan'?

[Shewillbemine]

I will never lend/loan money especially to people who aren't blood relatives. And even with blood relatives, that's a stretch. That never turns into anything positive.

[kork13]

Probably about 4 years ago now, my parents borrowed money (a few thousand total) from my brother and I to have their house repainted. I had no problem with it, because I never used the money, and the house truly needed it. My mother hadn't been working for over 3 years at that point, and my father had a lower-paying job than before they owned the house. I know that if I were to need and ask for the money, my parents would have and give it to me almost immediately. However, I'm in no great rush to get it back, and honestly, if I do, I do...if not, oh well.

The paint job turned out great, btw, and the house now sticks out as one of the most attractive looking houses on their street.

[Like2Plan]

Over the years I have changed my philosophy on loans. I don't want to loan anyone any money for any reason. I am not a bank. If I feel I have money to spare, I would prefer to make it an outright gift. That is the test I make. If I can't afford to spare it as a gift, then I can't afford to loan it.
There are other problems with a loan. It eats away at you when folks don't pay you back and you see them making other choices when you feel they do have the money to pay you back--especially if you have made sacrifices to loan someone some money in the first place.

[bjl584]

I have been asked for money from others here and there. It's hard to say no sometimes especially when they are a good friend, but I have to. I know I wouldn't get it back which would lead to problems with our friendship.

[dmontngrey]

Interestingly enough, it was only $60 I was asked to lend. I handed it over expecting to not get it back. That was over a year ago and I haven't seen the money. I help this person manage her finances and she doesn't understand money AT ALL. She refuses to. She's practically admitted it. Meanwhile, I bust my butt while she floats through life. Things will never change for her. I don't have any hard feelings toward the $60, but I won't lend her money ever again. One advantage to really understanding her financial situation - she owes me enough already.


I won't even bail my own mother out. I've lent her FAR more money over the years. Never saw a dime. She's similar to my friend in financial thinking: none whatsoever. It's not FUN for them!!

[mom-from-missouri]

If we loan money, we do it with the idea we won't get it back. We rarely loan money--very rarely.

We have however, bought grocerys (had the store deliver it so they would not know where it came from), paid a water bill (again, they have no idea who) and made a car payment (again, they don't know who). In each case, it was for different someones at our church who were laid off or had medical issues--but people who in the past have always been there to help others when others needed it.

The last time someone asked my husband for money he told them no, but he did have some work around the farm that needed to be done if they wanted to earn some. They took him up on it, saved their own pride, did very good work and we were all happy. In fact, a neighbor saw them working and they then got a another job working at the neighbors.

[thekid]

Used to frequently be approached by my older sister for "loans". The last time, I sat down with her and her then husband and went through their expenses and set up a budget that would balance (which, to balance, needed significant cuts to their spending). She then called me up to ask for a "loan" (the financial consultation being just a way to get to ask for money and I knew it from the start). I told her I would give her the money (needed for creditors), after she implemented the changes required to balance her budget (among other things, selling one of their two cars which required a realignment of their daily schedule). She refused. That was that (I actually still paid some $500 for her kids' school, but not the other creditors...of course, she had just come back from vacation when she "realized" she didn't have money to pay the kids' school.

To this day, she still markets me as a cold hearted cheapstake to many for having money and not helping her out. Funny thing is I actually offered to help in the most meaningful way...take care of pressing debt (gift), conditional on her adopting a sustainable budget (she had been bailled out often by my mother and other sister...it's just throwing money in the garbage unless the problem is fixed).

Whatever, we don't really mention it and still see each other fairly often (I'm close to my nephews), but there has been a permanent cold since.

I find it remarkable that some people are just incapable of being self accountable. Ever since she was young, she's been in trouble and ever since she was young she blames external circumstances. She's grown quite adept at it, actually. I'm actually 14 years younger than she. Recently, I found an old birthday card she gave me when I turned 9 (she was 23). The card thanked me for helping her that year. I had completely forgotten and the card made me remember, but she used to ask me for money when I was a kid. Holy moly, that's like if I had asked my nephews for money...who does that? That's ridiculous. Nobody else in the family is like that. It's like she was never able to have personal discipline/take personal responsibility from birth.

Anywho, sorry for the rant.

[PMMM]

I have loaned money to my kids before. They have always paid it back on time when they said they would. As well I bailed them both out of credit trouble. One time only and they know it in no uncertain terms.

I also had a couple of good years income wise and gave every member of my immediate family cash gifts. $4000.00 in total.

Most are in pretty good financial shape or at least are managing there money pretty well now with the exception of 2 siblings. I quit loaning money at all now. Both of these siblings are in there late 40's early 50's and if you haven't learned to manage your money now you probably won't.

I would imagine though that if either of my children came to me with an extreme emergency I would help them. But they both know that Mom and Dad are trying to prepare for retirement and we have to look at that first. They have seen our changes in lifestyle that are clear indicators of our seriousness to save for retirement so I know they won't come to me unless they are extremely desperate.

Contrary to popular belief Mom and Dad are not made of money!!