Born Frugal?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Were you guys on here born frugal or made frugal? How do you respond when people say that you have "time" to look for bargains? I don't work, I stay at home and I guess I have more time than a working mom. But I feel like staying at home hasn't made me frugal I was frugal before kids. It was just a lifestyle by DH and I lead before kids and we continue on now. We have always clipped coupons and looked for deals even though we make now more than ever before. I am not sure I would change even if I went back to work and we have a kid.

Thoughts? I know the rest of the people on here are into money so I'm wondering for working families how do you stay frugal? And those with a non-working spouse, did you get frugal so they could stay at home or was it always like that?

We never really ate out, had cleaners, new cars, and bought what we wanted now because we were "too busy". So I'm not sure I would change if I worked and my daughter was in daycare. Would I really spend more because I have less time?

[MonkeyMama]

I can't say I was *born* frugal, but I was definitely raised frugal (as was my dh) and we both have pretty conservative natures, inherently. Meaning, I think we'd probably be pretty concerned about preparing financially for the future (& otherwise), regardless, but I think we have a good sense of how to reach our financial goals because of how we were raised.

Just how frugal we are depends on the circumstances. Being a broke college student was probably the most frugal time in my life, but we certainly have dialed up the frugal since having kids (out of necessity). Before kids we only lived off one of our incomes and focused on keeping big costs down like housing and transportation. Since having kids we focus on the small stuff more - ironically because we have more time to. (I think people equate kids as a time suck, but for us we have WAY slowed down and have more time to do more time-consuming frugal habits. Before kids, eating out all the time and having cable and smart phones and all that still meant we could easily save a ton and do very well - but didn't mean we weren't frugal. I just think we didn't have to be so frugal about every little thing, back then).

I really notice it with other people. I have a number of friends who just can't wrap their brains around our finances. & it's hard to get across sometimes that we may be doing 100 things to save money that they aren't. Literally. IT's not one thing, it is the sum of many habits - most of them lifelong for us.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by MonkeyMama

I can't say I was *born* frugal, but I was definitely raised frugal

Same here. My family was frugal (though we didn't recognize it or call it that). We had a great time but knew how to do it without spending a fortune. We shopped at flea markets and discount shops. When we traveled, we packed food and snacks. At the motel we always stayed at down the shore, we had a kitchenette long before that was a common thing in hotels and we prepared many of our meals rather than eating out every day. We were always looking for bargains. We weren't poor. It wasn't really out of necessity. It just didn't make sense to pay more for something than you had to.

As for people who say they don't have time to be frugal, that always boggles my mind. It takes less time to do a quick search onine and order something on Amazon than it does to get in the car and drive to the mall and locate the item, stand in line to buy it and drive back home. Clipping coupons from the Sunday paper - wow, that must take a good 3 minutes out of the day. Flipping through the sale ads to see if there are any good bargains that week - another 2-3 minutes maybe.

People will make all kinds of excuses for why they are the way they are and why they couldn't possibly do things differently. The truth is they are either unwilling or uninterested in changing their behavior. If and when the lightbulb goes off for them and they decide to change, they then wonder why they waited so long.

[dczech09]

I don't think that it is possible to be "born" frugal. The reason is simple: frugality is the exact opposite of human nature. It is only human nature to want something and want it now. Frugality is the act of foregoing that want.

So I believe that frugality comes from insight and wisdom. You can be raised to be frugal, like most of us were. But ultimately it has more to do with a mindset, a perception of reality, and the wisdom to understand what frugality can bring.

[Redraidernurse]

I have to say the more I work the less frugal I am. Currently both my DH and I work and we have a toddler. About a year ago I was working 60+ hour weeks and it was impossible to keep up with cleaning the house. If I did try to keep the house clean I would never have gotten to see my husband or son so we chose to hire a house cleaner for $50 every 2 weeks. I also was home less and unable to spend lots of time chopping vegetables, cooking, etc so we resorted to more pre-packaged freezer type meals, which definitely cost more. Was it worth it income wise? DEFINITELY, I was bringing home very nice paychecks. Now, I only work 36 hours a week and we cut out the house cleaner and I make from scratch meals almost every day. We make less money but I spend a lot more time with my family and I can't put a price on that.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Redraidernurse

I have to say the more I work the less frugal I am.

That and also the more money we earn, the less frugal we are.

When we first got married, we clipped and used coupons, reused stuff, made our own stuff, cooked more from scratch, etc. We comparison shopped more and did many other things to keep costs down. At the time, we were earning half of what we earn now, didn't have a kid and were only saving about 6% of our take home pay. Now, we are earning twice as much, busy in a variety of outside activities for all 3 of us and devote less time to frugal endeavors but we're now able to save more than 25% of our gross income because we have still kept our lifestyle relatively modest even though it isn't as slim as it once was.

[jpg7n16]

Made.

When I was a baby, I'd cry if I didn't immediately get what I wanted. Sadly, many people never grew out of that phase.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by jpg7n16

When I was a baby, I'd cry if I didn't immediately get what I wanted. Sadly, many people never grew out of that phase.

Love it!

[snafu]

I think I may have been born frugal. Family and friends think I'm strange as I enjoy the challenge of finding a way to do it, make it, buy it for less. I hate paying interest, it feels similar to people smoking cigarettes...paying money to burn a product that makes you smell bad and has potential to cause you or those around you to get Cancer.

jpg: succinct and to the point, I'll quote you!

[GREENBACK]

My parents grew up dirt poor. When I came along we weren't poor but were probably lower middle class. I learned frugal behavior from them I'm certain. I'm sure they learned it by neccesity of their upbringing. I doubt anyone is actually born frugal. I think it's either learned from family or friends or originates out of neccesity.

[bjl584]

My parents weren't very frugal at all, so I really can't point to anything in particular that made me the way that I am. Fo whatever reason, I was always prone to saving my money as opposed to spending it frivolously. Even back in highschool when I was working part time I would be putting most of my paycheck away while most of my friends were buying CD's, Movies, Video games, etc.

[jsk]

i have seen my dad spend money and at times we were really tight for cash. So it kind of made me conscious about how i spend money and save for rainy days.

[Metapearl7]

Strange question you may think. but is it?

I have been reading articles lately where by they suggest that some people are genetically predisposed to be more frugal than others.

This idea is something I'm not sure about. My parents were not rich but they never seemed to watch their money. My father left all the finances up to my mother. By doing this he had no responsibility and so just spent what he liked without worrying. My mother liked the best, which meant that buying cheap brands was not something she liked to even consider.

Needless to say I grew up hearing arguments about the lack of money and debts etc. So i am more convinced that my environmental upbringing is why I am so frugal rather than it having anything to do with genetics.

[DebbieL]

I wasn't born frugal. I'm not all that frugal now. I'm debt free and put a good chunk of money into savings, but I also spend money. I buy clothes that I like, go on vacations (although only usually once a year), etc. We don't lack for anything. Like Disneysteve said, the more we earn the less frugal we are. I still have some frugal habits, but not like when I was a young, newly single mom, etc. Once I married my DH my financial life became easier. Over the years as our incomes have increased it has gotten easier and easier. We live for today, while saving for tomorrow.

[rob62521]

I would have to agree with most on this...I was raised frugal. My parents grew up during the depression and never got out of that mind set...

I think it is a conscious decision I make every day.

As for the clown who told Living Almost Large that they have time to look for bargains, I would counter, why wouldn't one take the time to do that? I'm not saying spend numerous hours, but with the technology available, even just using the phone, it is far easier to comparison shop than it was years ago.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

LOL. But I swear I think part of it is how you are raised. Both our parents are very frugal people and they passed on these habits that are hard to break no matter how much you make.

[MonkeyMama]

Originally Posted by Metapearl7

Needless to say I grew up hearing arguments about the lack of money and debts etc. So i am more convinced that my environmental upbringing is why I am so frugal rather than it having anything to do with genetics.

True, but there are plenty of people who were raised in similar environments who did not make the same choices that you did. I think personality is a huge element on how you decide to live your life financially.

My dad grew up poor and I think we are somewhat genetically predisposed to frugality. I always assumed my dad was so extremely frugal due to his upbringing. Obviously that was a large part of it. (Though his parents were poor, they had decent financial sense. Frugality was necessary to survive). These days most the people I meet who are the worst with money and have no inclination to save for the future are those who grew up poor. There is largely an element of "I never had nice things and I deserve them now," mixed with not having been raised with any financial sense whatsoever. I have come to appreciate that my own family is unique. I am shocked at by how many people I come across who are adverse to any frugal behaviors because they *grew up poor.* When the reas estate market was sky high I alienated a friend by suggesting they look at a condo instead of a house. She thought I Was looking down on her and talking down to her. I tried to explain that our first home had been a condo, and was why I suggested it, but the damage had been done. In her eyes, life had always been easy for me and I couldn't possibly understand her money problems. Same with buying used cars, buying used clothing, etc. I have come across a lot of people who equate frugality with a negative time in their life and don't want to do anything of the sort. Someone was telling me it was demeaning to have to only drink water (not afford soda, coffee, juice, etc.). ??? I appreciate I don't have those psychological hang ups.

I personally could not live the nice lifestyle that I do live without all of my frugal habits. So I don't have anny issues with being frugal. IT's a means to an end - a very effective means to an end. But, my dh and I are both very cautious, not risk seekers, concerned about today and tomorrow pretty equally. We would never sacrifice tomorrow for the joy of today, nor would we save everything for tomorrow and not live life. Kind of middle the road - very in line with our personalities.

[photo]

I grew up that way. As teenagers, we often say that we never want to be like our parents, so I went through a brief period of not being frugal (not being a spendthrift but also not watching what I spent) and found that I came out way ahead by buying for value and only spending on what I needed or highly desired.

[nick__45]

Originally Posted by Metapearl7

Strange question you may think. but is it?

I have been reading articles lately where by they suggest that some people are genetically predisposed to be more frugal than others.

This idea is something I'm not sure about. My parents were not rich but they never seemed to watch their money. My father left all the finances up to my mother. By doing this he had no responsibility and so just spent what he liked without worrying. My mother liked the best, which meant that buying cheap brands was not something she liked to even consider.

Needless to say I grew up hearing arguments about the lack of money and debts etc. So i am more convinced that my environmental upbringing is why I am so frugal rather than it having anything to do with genetics.

I completely agree with you on this one. I know most Americans are genetically wasteful and prone to be fatter. I hate to call it what it is but it is a fact of life. We feel entitled as a society and are genetically wasteful. There are a noticeable number of us that are frugal, whether by choice or by necessity, but that is probably less than 1 percent of the population.

However, it is possibly to be raised frugal and stay frugal but that is not an easy thing to do in this country. If one takes a look at our poor portion of society, they actually spend a lot more than the middle class and that is why they stay poor for generations. Since poor people make great voters, they will always get the free handout just enough to stay afloat.

[photo]

Originally Posted by nick__45

I know most Americans are genetically wasteful and prone to be fatter. I hate to call it what it is but it is a fact of life.

Genetically? Hardly.