mom's funeral

[irmanator]

Mom just got told she had a big cancer mass in her lungs and it was probably spreading. Too big for radiation. She is 77 yrs. Smoker for 50+ yrs. Got told that she had emphasema on 9/1/11 and they also sent her for chest xrays to see if anything else was going on. That is when the mass was noted. They predict she will be gone in 3-6 months.

I hope you all don't think I am gruesome. I am concerned about mom. I skipped work all week trying to be at hospital to get things figured out because she gets confused so I had to be there to ask questions etc. If I hadn't MADE her go to the dr against her will they still might not know. She was poppin aspirin like candy she admitted after the fact that she almost ruined her kidneys.

My worry after all that is the funeral. I don't really have 7000 layin around and thats what they say on tv a funeral costs these days. She has 2500 life ins. Obviously not enough. So I am aware that the life ins commercials probably try to exagerate the cost to scare people.

What does a funeral cost? Is there anyway I can find out ahead and plan for the eventual cost? Is it cheaper to creamate? Do they finance? (they do everything else)

I want something nice and respectable but not bankrupt me. I could probably have the service at my church for little to nothing since I am a memeber. Idk. So confused and upset. This has been such a stressfull week.

[minnie1928]

First, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother...I'm sure that this has been the worst time of your life.

I can't tell you the exact answers you are looking for, but I believe that cremation is cheaper than a burial. What are her wishes? Have you discussed this with her yet? Is there a particular funeral home she would like to use? Talk to her to find out what things are important for her...then go from there.

Again, I'm so sorry...

[irmanator]

I have asked her, she does not care. Says it is for those left behind.

[Like2Plan]

irmanator,
I am so sorry for your Mom's diagnosis. I'm sure this news is quite a shock to you, but you will have some time to figure things out. There may be rules in place in your state, but the least expensive option is going to be direct cremation (if it is permitted). Most places offer pre-planning, so your Mom could participate in the planning decisions if she wanted to.
Here is a link to Find funeral homes, send funeral flowers, start funeral planning

[disneysteve]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. I hope things go smoothly with her.

I'm not very familiar with cremation but I do believe it is the cheapest option. If you do opt for burial, one thing to be aware of is that federal law bans funeral homes from requiring you to buy a coffin from them. Their prices are tremendously inflated. You can order a coffin online and have it shipped to the funeral home and they are required to use it and not charge you for the service. Just Google coffins or caskets and you'll find the big online sellers. I believe even WalMart and Costco sell coffins online. Prices are far lower than what the homes charge.

[bjl584]

Originally Posted by irmanator

Mom just got told she had a big cancer mass in her lungs and it was probably spreading. Too big for radiation. She is 77 yrs. Smoker for 50+ yrs. Got told that she had emphasema on 9/1/11 and they also sent her for chest xrays to see if anything else was going on. That is when the mass was noted. They predict she will be gone in 3-6 months.

I hope you all don't think I am gruesome. I am concerned about mom. I skipped work all week trying to be at hospital to get things figured out because she gets confused so I had to be there to ask questions etc. If I hadn't MADE her go to the dr against her will they still might not know. She was poppin aspirin like candy she admitted after the fact that she almost ruined her kidneys.

My worry after all that is the funeral. I don't really have 7000 layin around and thats what they say on tv a funeral costs these days. She has 2500 life ins. Obviously not enough. So I am aware that the life ins commercials probably try to exagerate the cost to scare people.

What does a funeral cost? Is there anyway I can find out ahead and plan for the eventual cost? Is it cheaper to creamate? Do they finance? (they do everything else)

I want something nice and respectable but not bankrupt me. I could probably have the service at my church for little to nothing since I am a memeber. Idk. So confused and upset. This has been such a stressfull week.

My Grandfather passed away on August 2nd. His funeral cost was around $10,000. That included the casket, one day of viewing, and the gathering and the luncheon afterward. The funeral plot was free because he was a veteran and was buried in a veteran's cemetary. Luckily for the family, he had an insurance policy in the amount of $11,000 for his funeral expenses.

[snafu]

I'm sorry your mom has had such bad news. I'm sure it has been shocking. A funeral is for those left behind, your mom is right. Many churches have a funeral co ordinator who can recommend a funeral home. You needn't buy all their services. In some faiths the casket and services are as simple as possible.

Lately two people who passed on, had made it clear to family and friends they didn't want a funeral. Their families had a memorial service two months later at their church hall. They were more like an old fashioned high tea with sandwiches and mini pastries. We all had opportunities to tell our favorite story about our friend. I'm guessing each family had their dad cremated but I didn't ask.

[dawnwes]

So sorry to hear about your Mom.

Since you have a bit of time, I would spend it doing research for cost cutting ways to take care of her once she passes away.

Here is one website I found with some tips:

10 things funeral directors don't want you to know

[Staceyy]

You should be able to cremate for less than $1000.