Went to the bank today.....

[bjl584]

I stopped in at my bank today. It's the first time that I've been there in a while, as most everything I do banking wise is direct deposit. Anyway, they had a large sign hanging in their lobby advertising personal loans for weddings. Really? If I had to finance my wedding I think that I would A, wait longer to get married until I saved up the money, or B, have a cheaper wedding. I wonder how many people actual get a loan for that?

[disneysteve]

I think many, many people go into debt for their weddings. It might not take the form of a bank loan. More likely, it is in the form of credit card debt but that's essentially the same thing. People also go into debt for vacations and various other luxury items and expenses. Save up - what's that? Folks have forgotten how to do that.

[cypher1]

It doesn't really surprise me for financing part. I was just in a vietnamese wedding, and lots of those weddings aren't cheap (20k+). Then again that's more of culture thing with status and title to show off to others IMO. If you can afford it, more power to you. As for my friends (the wife still in school), I wouldn't want to be in their shoes for paying that off.

On the other side, last year my older sister had a very simple ceremony/reception. Which cost them around 6k. So I'd go with the latter and do cheap wedding, or better yet elope.

[myinvestmentinsight]

I think most people, as with many things, feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to their wedding. When someone feels like they deserve something, all caution goes to the wind. Your bank is obviously try to capitalize on that mentality. Realistically, a portion of savings should be put towards a wedding, even before you're involved with someone.

[riverwed070707]

Originally Posted by myinvestmentinsight

I think most people, as with many things, feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to their wedding. When someone feels like they deserve something, all caution goes to the wind. Your bank is obviously try to capitalize on that mentality. Realistically, a portion of savings should be put towards a wedding, even before you're involved with someone.

Why? While I don't agree with financing a wedding, I also think it's kind of ridiculous to have one so expensive you have to start saving for it before you even meet someone you might one day marry. If it takes you years to save, your event is probably too elaborate for your income. As with anything else, plan within your means. On a small income, that money could be so much better spent elsewhere - house dp, retirement savings, just generally getting your finances in order. No one looks back and says "man, I wish I would have blown more money on my wedding".

[bjl584]

Originally Posted by riverwed070707

Why? While I don't agree with financing a wedding, I also think it's kind of ridiculous to have one so expensive you have to start saving for it before you even meet someone you might one day marry. If it takes you years to save, your event is probably too elaborate for your income. As with anything else, plan within your means. On a small income, that money could be so much better spent elsewhere - house dp, retirement savings, just generally getting your finances in order. No one looks back and says "man, I wish I would have blown more money on my wedding".

Especially people that end up divorced.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cypher1

I was just in a vietnamese wedding, and lots of those weddings aren't cheap (20k+). Then again that's more of culture thing with status and title to show off to others IMO.

LOL. I'm not sure where you live but 20K is nothing. We spent that much on my daughter's Bat Mitzvah 3 years ago and it was not a ritzy affair at all. Trust me - we wanted something nice but we are so not into status and showing off. The fancy affairs can easily approach and top 50K. In the NYC area, I'm sure many approach 100K.

[riverwed070707]

Originally Posted by bjl584

Especially people that end up divorced.

Ya I was also going to rant on how maybe people would think through their decision to get married a little more thouroughly if they had to spend more time saving but decided it probably wasn't worth the breath.

[Nightfly]

I'd love to see stats on how many marriages end up in divorce, when the wedding celebrations from which they originated were big buck$ weddings. Especially compared to more modest weddings. I'm guessing here - but I'll bet the more money spent on the wedding, the higher the probability of divorce. I suspect some people just want the big party and the "look at us" status type thing.

On a related note: I give the Kim Kardashian marriage two years, tops...

[cypher1]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

LOL. I'm not sure where you live but 20K is nothing.

While my friends spent roughly around 30k for theirs, one just out of college looking for a job, and his wife still studying, I can't say I envy that decision. Granted I'm not married, nor really think too much about the idea but spending almost half my salary on one day.

[krantcents]

Weddings are getting very expensive, but instead of finding a less expensive solution, people go into debt. When 50% of marriages end in divorce, it seems a little unwise.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cypher1

While my friends spent roughly around 30k for theirs, one just out of college looking for a job, and his wife still studying, I can't say I envy that decision.

Certainly, in the case where the bride and groom are paying for the wedding themselves, as opposed to the more traditional route of the bride's parents paying, they really need to consider what they personally can afford. Our wedding wasn't cheap but my wife and I also weren't the ones paying. Her parents paid for most of it and my parents contributed as well.

It seems to be more and more common today, however, for the parents not to be involved. I'm not sure when or why that shifted but I think that's what created the problem. Couples are used to all of the nice fancy weddings they've attended growing up (when the couple's parents were paying) and expect to have the same type of affair (when they are paying their own way). Our parents saved for years knowing they'd have a wedding to pay for someday, just as my wife and I saved for years knowing we'd have a Bat Mitzvah to pay for. But a couple that meets, gets engaged and gets married within a couple of years doesn't have much time to save for the event so they end up going into debt to have the affair they'd like to have rather than the one they can really afford.

[cypher1]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

It seems to be more and more common today, however, for the parents not to be involved. I'm not sure when or why that shifted but I think that's what created the problem. Couples are used to all of the nice fancy weddings they've attended growing up (when the couple's parents were paying) and expect to have the same type of affair (when they are paying their own way). Our parents saved for years knowing they'd have a wedding to pay for someday, just as my wife and I saved for years knowing we'd have a Bat Mitzvah to pay for.

I keep forgetting that traditional weddings typically parents of bride paid for most (if not all) of the wedding. I have 4 sisters, they and I both didn't expect our parents to pay for their whole weddings, since my dad was main income. And I agree that totally changes the perspective where the couple these days pays for most of it. While its created a problem for budget, I also feel family/peer pressure ideas all contribute to higher costs on that special event. Similar viewing of buying too much house for what the couple can afford. Again, I'm just a bachelor, so my opinion is biased.

[disneysteve]

I also blame all of those inane reality TV shows that show over the top weddings and make them seem to be the norm.

[shanecurran]

Originally Posted by Nightfly

I'd love to see stats on how many marriages end up in divorce, when the wedding celebrations from which they originated were big buck$ weddings. Especially compared to more modest weddings. I'm guessing here - but I'll bet the more money spent on the wedding, the higher the probability of divorce. I suspect some people just want the big party and the "look at us" status type thing.

On a related note: I give the Kim Kardashian marriage two years, tops...

It is an interesting idea. I tend to agree with you: the more expensive the wedding the more likely someone is too concerned with money in the relationship. It would be a good research topic. You could title the paper "Can money buy love?"

[photo]

I'm somewhat surprised that in this day and age, people still spend on the fairytale wedding. Having a nice wedding celebration is one thing, but treating it as the most important day of your life seems over-the-top, especially considering not only the number of divorces but also the fact that the division between the sexes is not so clearly defined (as opposed to 50-60 years ago, when education of women was not for their careers but to find husbands).