engagement ring!

[Bades]

Hey guys,

Don't worry I'm not getting married anytime soon lol, however I've had discussions on how much guys should pay for rings and people I've talked to our all over the place!

I know this subject is a complete personal issue, but it's enlightening to hear other's opinions.

It just seems weird to me that a couple who is just starting out, probably trying to buy a house, etc, would pay several thousand on a ring, like that kind of cash wouldn't speed up the house buying process!

Anyway what is the rule of thumb, 3 months of pay?? That's ridiculous...

I know you guys have to have some good stories on this subject!

[Pansori]

I am conflicted on what I want in an engagement ring... I do know I want something but that is relatively inexpensive but not cheap, and I do not want a diamond. I have no idea for a price range, but knowing my SO he would probably not spend anymore than $1500.

I work with credit cards, and in my job we are directed to ask probing questions, to better serve the member. So a guy recently called me, and said he needed his credit increased to $25,000. I asked what he needed it for. He said it was for his fiance's engagement ring.

$25,000.

On the engagement ring.

Alone.

I can't even begin to imagine.

He got the increase.

[Shewillbemine]

I am about to buy an engagement ring myself so I am speaking from personal experience.

There is no "set" percentage for how much a man should spend on a ring. I don't care if you make $1/hour or are rolling in billions of dollars.

An engagement ring is the one time in your life (hopefully) in which the moment, the occasion and the act of giving it are far more important than the monetary value of the ring itself.

Another thing to remember is that color and clarity are far more important than size for the diamond. It's better to purchase a smaller, brighter ring than a bigger, dull-faced rock.

Having said that, my probable range for the ring will be between $8000 - $12,000. We already have a house (live together) and I have no other debt. I make over 6 figures per year but that doesn't mean I automatically spend accordingly. We have both agreed that we are not going into any debt for the wedding.

I <3 my fiancee for being on the same financial intelligence I'm on!

[DebbieL]

I wouldn't expect a ring anywhere even close to $8-12K. I think that there are very nice rings to be had for a lot less than that. I would honestly have been a bit pissed off if DH blew that kind of money on a ring. DH and I did both of our rings, dress (I got married on the beach in a beautiful sarong which cost about $200), wedding on Maui followed by the honeymoon there, the whole works for under 10K (including professional photos, hair, makeup, flowers, cake, engraved champagne glasses, etc). The trip alone was going to cost us about 7K, so the additional costs for everything wedding related (including the rings) was pretty low.

Our income level at the time was in the 70-80K range. We are now closer to 150K with DH's new job. If DH had been making then what he does now we might have gotten a slighly more expensive ring. Probably not over 2-3K though. Those kind of things just aren't my priority, and I've seen beautiful rings that don't cost a fortune.

[goldensun]

I think it is a waste of money to spend a significant amount on this. Put it towards the house or kids education.

3 months of wages, that rule probably came from de beers, I congratulate their marketing department.

[khosta]

Cost shouldn't matter at all. You are buying this woman a ring because you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Big or small it is something that is coming from your heart and is a meaningful thing. It is, in a sense an investment, so color and clarity do matter. Like Shewillbemine said you can guy buy a beautiful ring at an afforable amount with amazing color and clairty. Don't over do yourself. Buy her somehting you can afford with out breaking the bank, somehting you love and somehting she will love in return.
Good luck!!

[nick__45]

I bought a 10 dollars engagement ring and paid 100 dollars for matching wedding bands set (50 dollars each.) I did spend a tons on wedding but the decision was not mine and it was a biggest waste of money ever.

When my children get married I'll get them a nice house and a slightly used truck, which they can drive to the court house to sign the paper together. If people need to have a big wedding to announce to the world they are married and will be happy, chances are they are not truly happy and have very shallow self perception. Save the money and get a house and a reliable truck that would be essential to owning a house. Wedding, birthday, anniversary, and all holiday are commercialized to get people to spend money.

[nick__45]

Originally Posted by khosta

Cost shouldn't matter at all. You are buying this woman a ring because you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Big or small it is something that is coming from your heart and is a meaningful thing. It is, in a sense an investment, so color and clarity do matter. Like Shewillbemine said you can guy buy a beautiful ring at an afforable amount with amazing color and clairty. Don't over do yourself. Buy her somehting you can afford with out breaking the bank, somehting you love and somehting she will love in return.
Good luck!!

Cost shouldn't matter? People always say that when they don't have to foot the bills. I rather spend it on a house or reliable transportation to work and make more money than to throw a lavish party for other losers to enjoy. You can't buy happiness if the money is hard-earned and should be used wisely instead of being wasted.

[Hector]

Originally Posted by goldensun

3 months of wages, that rule probably came from de beers, I congratulate their marketing department.

+1.

I think similar.

[Hector]

For us, my wife (girlfriend at that time) and I visited a lot of stores together and I understood exactly what she wanted. Then I went to a lot of jewelers to get a feeling of price. I did a lot of online research as well. Finally I figured what ring am I gonna get. One of my buddies brother is a jeweler and I asked him the price and he told me the number that I was comfortable with and I asked him to make that ring. In the whole process I learned that if I didn't have researched that much and had bought a ring after visiting just 4-5 jewelers, I would have spend at least twice than I actually did.

[MonkeyMama]

I personally have no desire to spend my money on jewelry.

I was engaged when I was 18. I believe the ring cost $100. I still wear it proud! We got comments like, "Oh, you can upgrade that when you are older."

We had FAR more money when we actually married several years later, but again, didn't want to spend a lot on a ring or a wedding. Spent about $1k on a beautiful wedding band.

Years later? Wish I never bought it. It wasn't me, it was what everyone else thought I should have. I've been married 10 years and if I had to do it all over I never would have spent so much on a wedding band. It wasn't enough to give me financial regrets. It's more the principal that annoys me. I just didn't really think much about it, and I regret that. Probably a very rare instance where I didn't do something different from the herd and really think about what *I* wanted. It's probably less the price tag and more that I just went with diamonds, that bugs me. $1k was about 1% of our income, and we could easily afford the splurge. Agreed - the diamond marketing is GOOD!

Anyway, I still LOVE my $100 engagement ring. The memories mean more to me than the ring itself. IT was a very sweet gesture from a poor college student who knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. That is priceless.

[papa_squat]

Originally Posted by nick__45

I bought a 10 dollars engagement ring and paid 100 dollars for matching wedding bands set (50 dollars each.) I did spend a tons on wedding but the decision was not mine and it was a biggest waste of money ever.

When my children get married I'll get them a nice house and a slightly used truck, which they can drive to the court house to sign the paper together. If people need to have a big wedding to announce to the world they are married and will be happy, chances are they are not truly happy and have very shallow self perception. Save the money and get a house and a reliable truck that would be essential to owning a house. Wedding, birthday, anniversary, and all holiday are commercialized to get people to spend money.

That all may be true, but some people like to mark certain benchmark occasions in life by throwing a big party. It may not be practical if they pay for it on credit, but for people who actually do SAVE MONEY in advance for a wedding/birthday/anniversary/etc., that doesn't mean they have a shallow self-perception and they're not happy. I agree that the house and the car are important securities, but they are just things. Some people in cities don't need cars and rent their entire lives because buying a house ISN'T practical, but they can still have fantastic jobs, life experiences and invest their money in other ways. So the house & car isn't the pinnacle of success for everyone.

Giving your children a house and car on their wedding day is still an incredibly generous and thoughtful thing to do, but smacking at anyone who throws a party for a benchmark occasion won't keep you high on anyone's guest list either.

[papa_squat]

The engagement ring my husband gave me is a family heirloom, so it cost my husband nothing. His grandfather gave it to his grandmother, his grandmother gave it to his father to give to mother, and finally his mother gave it to him to give to me. Despite being a "free" ring, it's a high-quality diamond solitare (timeless styles), and I am so flattered to be a part of a family tradition. I plan to continue the tradition, too (it's only fair!).

We spent $90 on my 14k gold band and $240 on his 14k white gold band, both from Overstock. We saved a lot of money on rings, which made it easier to pay for an open bar and DJ serivices for our wedding. Worth every penny!

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by goldensun

3 months of wages, that rule probably came from de beers, I congratulate their marketing department.

That is actually true. It is DeBeers who came up with that slogan. And it is a totally insane rule with no basis in reality.

How much should you spend? Whatever amount is appropriate given your circumstances. Do you have debt other than your mortgage? If so, you need to be looking at inexpensive options. Smaller stones, simpler designs. Perhaps checking pawn shops would be a good idea.

Under no circumstances should you put yourself into debt for the ring. If you have to borrow, you can't afford it.

[thekid]

I got married two years back. My gf insisted on using her grandmother's ring (she was very close to her grandmother), so we just had that slightly refurbished.

That said, up til it was completely clear that's what she wanted, I had done some shopping. Would probably have spent some 2-3k$ on a ring (we make about 175k$ combined). Think it's important it look nice, but flash in a ring is far from our style or a priority for us. As others have noted, marriage also often coincides -as it did for us- with house & furniture purchase and a kid shortly behind so it made little sense to us to spend anything that would put a dent in those plans. To each their own priorities though.

[Andrew Jackson]

For me it was most important to just find a ring that was in the color (yellow gold), size and design that she was looking for. As far as how much I was willing to spend, I started saving up for this purchase a few months in advance. I also knew that I wanted to spend no more than $2500. Like you said, we are young and just starting out and trying to save up for many things including a house down payment. I ended up finding a ring that I liked and it was well under my budget. Most of all she loves it and gets compliments on it all the time.

Be careful at the jewelry store though. Most of them are nice people, but they will always try to sell you their best cut diamond. And they will show you and tell you how it is superior to the others.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

$1k i think maybe less. $50 for the wedding band? Not a big deal. I wish my grandmother had offered her ring but she was still wearing it and I would LOVE to have it.

[snafu]

[quote=Shewillbemine;291922] An engagement ring is the one time in your life in which the moment, the occasion and the act of giving it are far more important than the monetary value of the ring itself. The engagement story will be retold year after year...we all remember those circumstances.

I hope you will do some research to fully understand what you are buying since gold is so incredibly expensive just now. Wm. gave Kate a blue sapphire so I wonder if some women prefer non traditional gems given the issues of diamond mines.

[Coronet]

Oh wow, I would not want a ring that cost 3 months of my SO's salary! I feel like that'd be too much! I'd much rather spend it on buying our first house, a vacation, or something else. I say go with whatever you think is reasonable. A real lady won't care how much you spent on the ring!

For me personally I could see MAYBE spending up to $5000 on a ring, but then again I'd rather find a ring I liked than pick the most expensive one.

[NolaP]

It's not the ring that is important, but what it symbolizes. A plain band is enough for a lot of people, I think, and not nearly enough for others. Anything more than a few thousand seems like a waste of money to me though, unless you have money to burn. And you can get some nice looking rings for less than that, if you know where to look. And if you "outgrow" your first one financially, well you can always upgrade.