Children and Finances

[guppy]

I recently had a child (2 mos. on Christmas Eve ) and this has drastically changed my life. Previously I was obsessed with paying off debt but as time wore on I realized it was more important to me to have a child and put debt pay off on hold for a little while. My husband and I have paid off almost 29k of debt (cc, cars, student loans) and have one more student loan of 20k left. Since it would take roughly 1.5-2 years to knock off this last debt, I decided at 26 it was time to have our first child and put finances on hold. Now that our daughter is born I am on maternity leave, but when I return to work full-time (within 6 mos.) I plan to attack that last student loan with vengeance (thankfully this is possible because my mother will be watching our daughter and charging us nothing).

I was wondering how others on this board decided they were ready to have children and if finances were an integral part of that decision.

[SavingAdvice]

I am in the same both i will have a baby in 5 months time i am only 29 and my gf has 0 savings.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by guppy

I was wondering how others on this board decided they were ready to have children and if finances were an integral part of that decision.

We got married in summer 1992. I finished my education in summer 1993 and got my first real job. We bought our house in spring 1994. Later that year, we started working on having a baby and my wife got pregnant (with some medical assistance) in January 1995. At that point, I had a stable job and we were able to live comfortably on my income alone. My wife could be a SAHM (she actually left her job one month before becoming pregnant). That was a big priority for us. We didn't want to have a baby until we were a one-income household.

[bjl584]

I'm currently single with no kids. When the right lady comes along and I decide to have children, I want to be in a financially stable position first. I want to have enough in savings that my future wife will be able to be at home with the baby.

[SavingAdvice]

I think you need to have a lot of income to be able to have a SAHM

[snshijuptr]

I'm not planning on being a SAHM. We are working on getting an extra $10K in our EF before we have a baby. This represents about half of 6 months of our current expenses (i.e. 1.5X our 6 month expenses).

I still have my student loan debt, but it is on deferral right now. DH's student loans are paid by the state. A baby will only delay our savings (if at all) until I get a real job (currently a grad student).

[krantcents]

Originally Posted by guppy

I recently had a child (2 mos. on Christmas Eve ) and this has drastically changed my life. Previously I was obsessed with paying off debt but as time wore on I realized it was more important to me to have a child and put debt pay off on hold for a little while. My husband and I have paid off almost 29k of debt (cc, cars, student loans) and have one more student loan of 20k left. Since it would take roughly 1.5-2 years to knock off this last debt, I decided at 26 it was time to have our first child and put finances on hold. Now that our daughter is born I am on maternity leave, but when I return to work full-time (within 6 mos.) I plan to attack that last student loan with vengeance (thankfully this is possible because my mother will be watching our daughter and charging us nothing).

I was wondering how others on this board decided they were ready to have children and if finances were an integral part of that decision.

We had our first child when my wife was 26 and I was 27. We had no debt except for a mortgage. My wife and I had a good paying jobs, bright futures and great benefits. She returned to work part time after the birth. The same was true 3 1/2 years later when our second child was born. When the children started school, my wife returned to full time work. Finances were less important in our decision because of our circumstances.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by SavingAdvice

I think you need to have a lot of income to be able to have a SAHM

More important than how much you earn is how much you spend. If you live frugally and keep your expenses down, it is much easier. If you live a more costly lifestyle that requires both spouses to be working to support it, you create your own impossible situation. It is all about priorities. If having an at-home parent is a top priority, you need to build a lifestyle that reflects that.

[DebbieL]

Yes, but you are a physician, so a bit easier to live below your means when your means are a 6 figure income When you are married to a cook (for example), it's a little harder to do. I agree that having one parent stay home is great, but I don't think it is feasible for a lot of couples. My thinking is also a bit influenced by the fact that I live in an extremely high COL area, that also has low paying jobs (on average). For example, the average house price here is over $600K, and the average HOUSEHOLD income is in the upper 60s to lower 70s. Yikes. This is why DH and I rent (at about 1/2 the cost to carry a mortgage). I think we will eventually move (somewhere cheaper) once I'm done with all my schooling and DD is out of the house.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by DebbieL

Yes, but you are a physician, so a bit easier to live below your means when your means are a 6 figure income

True, but I know plenty of people with 6-figure incomes who "can't afford" to have mom stay home because they've created a lifestyle that requires both incomes: big house, expensive cars, exotic vacations, etc. I also know many people with much more modest incomes who do have a stay-at-home parent because they've CHOSEN to live a very modest lifestyle - old car, small house, few luxuries.

I agree that having one parent stay home is great, but I don't think it is feasible for a lot of couples.

Certainly, there are people who truly can't afford it, but I think there are also many who really could afford it if they were willing to make the sacrifices that were necessary to achieve it.

the average house price here is over $600K, and the average HOUSEHOLD income is in the upper 60s to lower 70s.

I always wonder about those areas. If most people in an area can't afford to buy a house, who buys all of the houses? I'm sure they aren't all sitting vacant. Someone earning 70K can't even dream of buying a 600K house, so there must be enough people earning 200K and up to support that housing market. If there are that many people earning that much money, why is the average still 70K? Bottom line in those areas is that the average person will either rent or move to a lower COL area if they want to buy, exactly as you are doing.

[jpg7n16]

Originally Posted by DebbieL

For example, the average house price here is over $600K, and the average HOUSEHOLD income is in the upper 60s to lower 70s. Yikes.

This is what we can a 'bubble'

[abraham.a]

the first thing you should do is to have an insurance , if you are employed and your company provides it , that is the best . but if your company dont provide insurance , you better do it your self .

[guppy]

I just might end up becoming a stay at home mom after all. The plan is for me to work the next 3 years before having baby #2. At that point my husbands income should be good enough that I can stay home with the kids. We could've delayed having our first and then I could've stayed at home most likely right from the start, but my desire to have children crept up on us and the thought of pushing it out much longer got me worried that if I waited too long what would we do if we found out getting pregnant was more difficult than we thought. I didn't want to jeopardize a family because I had waited too long.

[Hadwin]

Originally Posted by bjl584

I'm currently single with no kids. When the right lady comes along and I decide to have children, I want to be in a financially stable position first. I want to have enough in savings that my future wife will be able to be at home with the baby.

Yes dear first you have to earn money .Then you choose your right lady to live in your home and with
your
family when you feel you are in position to got married then you are able to get baby otherwise you should wait for you life plan first.

[Bob B.]

When we had our first child 8 1/2 years ago, my wife quit her job to stay home. I was 29, and DW was 27. Our family income was cut in half, although DW has earned 5k to 10k of free lance income per year since the first birth. It really took us six years to adjust our living down. Thus the reason I'm sitting with 21k of credit card debt right now.

I gross 55k per year, in a fairly low COL area. We are still glad we chose for DW to stay home. IMO there are things that a stay-at-home parent can provide to young children that money truly cannot buy.

[guppy]

I don't think there is a wrong or right answer to this. Personally, for my family, I had a mother who offered to help us watch the baby when I return to work. For my family, I would not consider using daycare. I do not have any interest in strangers help raise my child. But I know others who went the daycare route who were perfectly happy with their decision. And then there are the people who take issue with me having my mother help out with my child. So to each their own!

[Bob B.]

IMO a grandparent is a good 2nd best choice to parent for child care while mom and dad work. Most other choices, again IMO, are a distant 3rd.

[elessar78]

Finances are an integral part of life so, ergo, child rearing as well. We're not rich, nor out of debt, but we were pretty comfortable with our cash flow. So we felt it was okay.

Not that everyone doesn't know this, but the window in which it's easy to conceive is finite. Yes, it's possible to conceive later in life thanks to modern medicine, but it's not as easy as the media portrays it. We have known several people who waited too long and struggled in this dept.

I'll probably be flamed for this, but if you want kids go for it while you're still in the "good window". You can always improve your financial situation. Barring medical complications or special needs, babies are relatively inexpensive.

[hassell]

It does matter sometimes that you want to have a baby but without any financial issues arising after that. Its better to plan it and with consultation you can decide the right time to have a baby.I also did that and was easy in my life after the first child was born.

[MonkeyMama]

Originally Posted by DebbieL

Yes, but you are a physician, so a bit easier to live below your means when your means are a 6 figure income When you are married to a cook (for example), it's a little harder to do. I agree that having one parent stay home is great, but I don't think it is feasible for a lot of couples. My thinking is also a bit influenced by the fact that I live in an extremely high COL area, that also has low paying jobs (on average).

It just depends on your priorities. We grew up in the most expensive city in the nation, and moved because we wanted a parent home with the kids. (& didn't want to take 50 years to pay off a mortgage on a condo).