Children and Finances

[MonkeyMama]

Originally Posted by Bob B.

IMO a grandparent is a good 2nd best choice to parent for child care while mom and dad work. Most other choices, again IMO, are a distant 3rd.

I don't agree with that statement at all.

Unfortunately, most the people I know have relatives/grandparents caring for their kids while they work. Drama Drama Drama. Some of these grandparents are also VILE. Control and boundary issues for the rest of them. Honestly, I am sick of hearing about it!

Meanwhile, an unhappy parent at home is not preferable to a good daycare situation.

We initially preferred to raise our own kids, but am glad we saw what daycare could add to our family. My kids only went part-time, but are better for it. I think it is sad how demonized daycare is. The "stranger" who helped raise my kids for a couple of years is the most awesome person I have ever met in my life. Since we have no family here, she was our second family for a time. (She moved; we miss her terribly).

[MonkeyMama]

For us, we wanted a home, a nest egg and a solid income. We achieved all that by 25 and immediately had kids. I wouldn't change a thing.

Beyond being lower middle class or impoverished, I think creativity is more important than income. When it comes to the middle class. We live in California and made that decision on a $50k income. Hardly a large income for the area - most my friends would say you can't survive without six figures, here. That said, we put 20% down on our home, saved my dh's entire income when he worked, etc., etc. We have a smaller mortgage (paid more down - lower interest rate) than most our friends, for one. Also, I now make closer to $75k, and my take-home pay is bigger than when we made $100k combined. I am a tax professional and understood clearly how little we would pay in taxes when we had kids - was like a 25% raise (bugger take-home pay) right off the bat. Honestly, most my husband's $50k income would go to taxes and daycare? We decided it wasn't worth him working full-time to net $10k per year. Kind of ridiculous, actually. (May be different if he actually liked his job?)

I think middle ground is important. We had talked of working 5 more years and paying off the house, but I am glad we didn't. Having kids means more to us than money and wealth. BUT, it is very important for us that we have both means and time for them. I think we found the perfect middle ground for ourselves.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We waited until 30 and 32 for non-monetary reasons. Financially we could have afforded kids easily I'd say 5-6 years ago. But we waited because we were having fun. We traveled, ate out, did hobbies, stuff we don't do now. We used to snowboard every weekend two days! Now my DH went for the first time since 2009.

Financially waiting also allows us to do what we want pretty much. We still eat out, not as often, we save, we budget, etc. Last year our net worth went up $170k and we had a baby in January 2010. So I'd have saved another $30k if we had watched our money better and not splurged on the baby so much. We spent an awful lot in 2010 on traveling to show her off to family, bought safer car, I'd gone back to work. VERY important she meet her great grannies before they pass on.

So money wasn't our issue. We made sure we were done with our major schooling, I may go back and get a certificate to change fields though. We had a lot of couple time together (our 20s), we had fun and did a lot of things we wanted to do. We really matured as a couple and individuals first and foremost.

I can honestly say that I have no regrets about working, education, or traveling. I have done a lot and I'm okay being at home with my baby. I an reveling in it.

I hear it ALL the time from people "You need $X to stay at home." Sorry but no ways. I know for a fact another mom whose husband makes a lot and she can't AFFORD to stay at home BECAUSE they LIFESTYLE they desire is unreachable. I did point out if you can't make it work on $130k/year then something is wrong with your lifestyle.

Choices. It's all about choices.