Family of 6 Needs Budget Advice

[mdcrim]

Wow. Really? So your wife isn't willing to "do without" any of the extras? She would rather "do without" spending time with you so that you can work all the time to provide for her and the rest of the family? Really? Wow. I'm sorry. That is very sad. I feel for you. I don't really know what else to say right now...

[minnie1928]

[quote=shanepn;220766]I appreciate everyones help and suggestions but I spoke with my wife about all of the advive and we've decided I as head of household just need to "do what it takes" to make the money we need to keep our house./QUOTE]

This is really sad ...I always thought marriage was a partnership. I think you should consider making the cuts that the others have mentioned (the 2nd car is a tough one though) and she should also try to bring something to the table. That could be in the form of ways to save money (increased couponing, packing lunches, etc) or actual income (after school daycare in your home, surveys, etc.). I'm not saying that you shouldn't look into a 2nd job, but I don't think you should be carrying this on your shoulders alone.

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by shanepn

I appreciate everyones help and suggestions but I spoke with my wife about all of the advive and we've decided I as head of household just need to "do what it takes" to make the money we need to keep our house.

So I'm applying for part time jobs and if I don't find anything or if that still isn't enough I guess I didn't live up to my responsability as a husband and father.

Thanks again

Shanepn -- it's a real shame that your wife/partner said those words to you.

So, tell me, what happens if you fail at this task in these times?

Has she stopped looking for another job herself since she was laid-off?

Is she trying to rid herself of any blame in this "failure" to "keep the house"? Or is she trying to tell you that she does not care or that it's too much for her?

If I were you, I'd make any and all the cuts that others have posted. If she's really giving full control/responsibility to you, then do it. Make the cuts that are needed. See if you can get more work, though staggered days off, it's going to be a problem.

Take care of your family, you, your children and your wife. Sounds like she's rather depressed with her own job loss right now, and may not be too much help/support until she gets settled in her own thoughts.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by shanepn

I appreciate everyones help and suggestions but I spoke with my wife about all of the advive and we've decided I as head of household just need to "do what it takes"

I agree. You should "do what it takes" which starts with slashing all of the unnecessary luxuries from your lifestyle. Make those changes first. If by then, you are still struggling and your wife hasn't found work, look for other ways to boost income.

If she is laying this totally on you to fix, I'd say that's a pretty serious relationship problem.

[terces]

Wow I'm speechless also. In times like this I would expect the WHOLE family doing what is necessary to help.

[snafu]

Wow! That is so sexist! Would your wife prefer to return to lifestyle as it was just prior to the outbreak of WWII? The women stayed home, raised the children, tended the garden, washed the floors on hands and knees, washed clothes on a scrub board in the backyard, cooked meals totally from scratch, and generally worked as hard physically as a lumberjack!

Skip to this century...What absolves your wife from earning income? I hope you are not buying into her mental manipulation whatever the reason...depression, selfishness, or the lazy factor. The fact is income is not covering spending. You may as well put the house on the market now before the decision is taken out of your hands.

Realistically, isn't Foreclosure is just a matter of time?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

It's not always so cut and dry. It's possible that what your wife would make working part-time is more than you could. So maybe it's an idea for her to get a part-time job.

I have no idea in what context your wife said that, maybe it's more like I've sacrificd and now it's time for me? I dunno. Remember we're only hearing half the story.

[Confetti]

Originally Posted by shanepn

I appreciate everyones help and suggestions but I spoke with my wife about all of the advive and we've decided I as head of household just need to "do what it takes" to make the money we need to keep our house.

So I'm applying for part time jobs and if I don't find anything or if that still isn't enough I guess I didn't live up to my responsability as a husband and father.

Thanks again

She can't have it both ways. Either she cops to calling you head of household and means it, or she's just using that as an excuse to not work.
If she really wants you to be head of the household, then you go ahead and set the rules - tell her what cuts you'll be making, tell her she needs to get a job, etc. You go ahead and make the call on "doing what it takes" to make the situation better. If she balks, then she wasn't serious.

Seriously, I think it sounds like she just wants to absolve herself from responsibility.

[Inkstain82]

This thread made me want to go hug my wife.