Wife Threatening To Leave!!

[cschin4]

You have bigger issues. Your main issue needs to be to work on your marriage. I would suggest you seeing a pastor or counselor and get some help.
As for you cutting up HER cards, if you have his and her cards, I think she needs to come to that point herself. If you have both been irresponsible and now all of the sudden you have seen the light and error of your ways, then forcing your new found views on her will make her react exactly as she did. One has to get the beam out of one's own eye before removing it from others.
So, the greater issue here is restoring your marriage and learning to work together which also will include compromising on both your parts. Perhaps she could keep a few cards for now with the goal of you both looking toward getting only one card, etc. But, you need to work at it together. She obviously perceives you as just grabbing her cards and cutting them up against her will which isn't going to fly.

[Bernz]

Not sure that cutting up all her credit cards is the right thing to do. But, I do not understand why a wife would leave a spouse for such either when all you are trying to do is save your finances which will probably save the marriage as well. But you both have to reach an agreement here. She has got to to realized that this is ruining your finances and that her expenses is also yours and vice versa. Communication is they key.

[PrincessPerky]

So is cutting up the cards going to cure all your problems? cause if it is a magic bullet then maybe it is worth a divorce..prolly not though.

Will leaving the cards intact kill you?

You seem stuck on it, like it is the next step and if she doesn't cut them you cannot possible reach financial security...

One thing at a time, you didn't get into this mess in a day and you didn't become the person you are in a day, neither of you is going to change instantly.

[cicy33]

I guess I have another thought. While I am in agreement of not charging cards I guess here is my thought. Why does she have to cut up her cards? and why can't it be that she just doesn't want to or that she feels more secure having them versus the opinion that she is trying to control someone? I personally got rid of all mine and there are times I wish I had kept one or two. I would feel more secure just knowing there is a safety net, you know? If she has shown that she wants to pay off debt and it sounds like you are both on the same page on that then I think you may want to back off a little and determine the reason for her wanting to keep them. maybe that could lead to a decision to get rid of a few of them or some other compromise. Whether I am in a relationship or married or not I personally think I am still entitled to my opinion. So my thought to sum it up is maybe she isn't trying to be a pain but is simply her own person and has a different opinion. What makes hers the wrong one? or the right one? you know what I mean? And I really think (and I am going on personal experience here) that she feels very threatened by what she perceives as your controlling issue over cutting up the cards and that is why she possibly made that threat. Does that make sense?

[MamaBird06]

i would say she may not be completely committed to reducing the debt. I have read up, researched and starting learning about reducing for about 2 years, but it's just now that my husband is really wanting to get on board with the matter. I would suggust locking up the cards, cutting up may be too much for her at the moment. Give her some more time...

[lizajane]

What if you locked them up in a secure box with 2 locks - one for you and one for her? You BOTH need to agree to unlock the box in order to use the cards. It would be quicker than thawing them out, less drastic than cutting them up, and it would have to be an agreed-upon expense.

Good luck. This isn't an easy one.

[myrdale]

You say "Our priority has been paying off debt" but then in your next post you say "We pay our cards separately now." You suggest she is on board but at the same time she is not showing any signs of wanting to get out of debt.

First, she is not the bad guy. This is the life style you both have lived for a long time. It just so happens you've wised up and want to improve the situation. We need to show her it is probably in her best interest to start cutting back on the cards. Ten cards for one person really does seem kind of extreme.

She needs to be involved in the household finances with you. Personally I would gather up the newest statements from each of the ten cards. Write down the balances from all of them on a sheet of paper. Then write down the amount of interest you are paying each month.

Now once that is done, I would consider working with her to pay off her cards. The typical Dave Ramsey responce is to pay off the smallest balance first. Let me make a suggestion, you pick one card and say YOU will pay it off in full. However the other half of the deal is that after that card is paid off it doesn't get used again. She pulls it out of her purse and sticks it in a box. We will not both cutting them up for now, lets just get them out of sight and out of mind.

After a while has gone by and you have knocked two or three other cards out of the way, then suggest lets terminate this card that we no longer use.

[Rainelli]

if you think that you wasn't able to pay for it anymore then better explain this to your wife...