Do you get to the point where u stop trying to help people?

[Goldy1]

I am friends with a couple whose money sanity is pretty low. They rent an apartment month to month paying $150 more for over 2 years. Then they relocate and rent an aprtment for $1200 where there are almost as nice places in the same and surrounding cities for half or a little over half.
The man in the couple loses his job, and then they decided to move over one hour away to get a cheaper apartment an dnow the wife is distressed b/c her commute and low payin gjob must be quit b/c of the comute and he has no job prospects.
I tell her about aprtments half the price I have lived in near her old job but she doesn't listen. I see ads for cheap places on aprtmentfinder.com in the city they moved from but they insist there are none or they zone out.

Now they freak b/c Cobra is gonna cost almost $800 a month for two so I explain high deductable health plans even with a 1G deductable, but they can't understand how the savings each month will make up for it if they even have to pay for the deductable. "what's the point of insurance if you have to pay 1G?"
TRust me, I am not financial genius or huge money maker, but I know the basic basics.

I am so done. lol

[SacredFaerie]

You can't fix stupid. Let it go.

[cash330]

Some people will just never get it. I don't know if it's ignorance or stubbornness, but they just refuse to take any hopeful advice seriously. I've often tried to help people and I feel like just because I'm not a CPA or haven't written 20 finance books, I can't be trusted. With the situation they are in, you would think they would take any advice they could, especially from people who are obviously doing much better than them and seem to know what they are talking about.

You just have to wonder why people have such a hard to living in reality. You do what you have to or you pay the consequences. If after good advice after good advice they still refuse to listen, let them wallow in their own self misery. You can't help anyone who won't help themself.

[PrincessPerky]

I sometimes wonder what makes a person take advice from one and not from another.

It isn't just money. I have always been a healthy weight, yet folks ask the unhealthy weight person for diet advice......now I get how I haven't ever been there (never been outside of healthy) but...I might know a thing or two about healthy eating.

I also have relatively well behaved kids, who are always happy, but no one would ask me advice, they assume I have never had a problem and have easy kids naturally (trust me we have plenty of trying times, and have solved plenty of problems)

Not that I know everything (far from it!), just that if I were to ask advice, I would look for one without my problem and see if they solved it already.

[eanderson651]

Same thing happens with a lot of my friends. You tell them something, eventually they start to talk the talk, however, rarely do they make a change.

[Investing First Steps]

I don't think people ever change their habits immediately. The best you can hope for is that your advice either planted a seed, or helped it grow. Real "change" is very hard.

[cschin4]

Sometimes people give advice when it isn't asked for. Sometimes you are just talking about your situation not asking your friend to advise you. There are many times I have had people give me advice when I didn't ask!
And, others often assume that what is important to them is what is important to you. I am sure I do a lot of "stupid things" with my money in the eyes of others, as do they. If I ask for advice, I will consider it, but that still doesn't mean you are going to follow that person's prescription.
And, then again, there are just some people who never will get it, don't want to get it and enjoy a lot of drama and chaos in their lives as well. I think we all have a few relatives like that!

[poundwise]

“It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere.”

~ Voltaire

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I can't think of a time in real life when anyone has asked for money advice from me.

[Goldy1]

I think you guys make a good point. Why tout the benefits of home ownership to someone who is not seriously interested and never asked you for instance. I just like it when people talk to me about finance stuff, but then I will open the discussion.

[snafu]

I believe many conversations are an opportunity for the speaker to vent. They don't really want advise, just empathy/sympathy for the poor choices they made. A few actually ask for advise but as the saying goes...you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink!

I generallly respond to requests for advice by saying something like "are you telling me that you realize what you've been doing isn't working?" It is an identifier that cuts the wheat from the chaff

[waijai]

Honestly I've learned that you really can't help people, until they want to help themselves. People will only hear what they want to hear.

[Ima saver]

I have tried to give money advice to my best friend for over 30 years. She says she can not save any money, that it is impossible. This is the same gal that bought souveniers for everyone in her family every time they went some place. She also use to have a long distance phone bill of over $200 a month. (before cell phones) I have pretty much given up on her. She will have to work full time until she dies. (which is very sad)

[sweeps]

Not only do a lot of people not want advice, they don't necessarily want to change anything about their situation. Some people just enjoy talking, and spending money recklessly is something to talk about.

[PrincessPerky]

Sometimes thew solution is not wanted.. I complain about my kids but I am not giving them up....

[NeedaDollar]

I like to help people when they ask for help but when you keep explaining something again & again and they don't understand or do the opposite, you do get tired of it.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I said I could not remember me giving money advice to anyone, but last night I remembered that yes I have, and fairly big time! I gave my friend a lot of advice (she had lots of questions) when she was buying a house last April. And she did follow my advice....Same person I gave advice about indoor temps and ways to keep pipes from freezing while she left the country for 3 weeks. Though she comes from a much warmer climate where frozen pipes is not an issue, and had never owned a house before, she did not like my advice. So while she was gone, the pipes froze and burst, necessitating a plumber. And we all know how expensive that can be.

[PRICEPLUS]

Sadly, advice that is not solicited is often looked upon in a hostile fashion regardless of good intent. That is just the way of it. I never offer advice unless I am asked!

[m3racer]

It's what Darwin called "natural selection."