Looks like I might be going about this solo... - Page 2

sakigt · #21 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 08:20 AM

Stupid boys.

If we lived close Id buy you a round this weekend. Keep your head up!

maat55 · #22 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 09:14 AM

With the weed gone, the grass will get greener. You deserve a tree.

m3racer · #23 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 09:25 AM

You'll move on. Someday you'll look back and say to yourself that this was the best thing to happen. Remember the day is darkest right before the dawn.

disneysteve · #24 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fruitbowlk

oh wow. Sorry to hear about that but if it does happen it might be in your best interest. You might not see it today but you will see it in the future.

As hard as it is to hear this, it really is true. It is much easier in the long run to end a relationship before marriage because that complicates things a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScrimpAndSave

I guess I am going to try to write letters to the DJ, Photographer, Venue, ceremony musicians and cocktail musicians and see if I can get my deposits back...I doubt it since they are nonrefundable, but it is worth a shot.

In my experience, nonrefundable often means that the company has the right to keep your deposit but also has the discretion not to. Your event was still 9 months away so it isn't like you are cancelling at the last minute. I think if you call and speak to the owners (not just the secretary or regular staff) and explain the situation, they may give you at least partial refunds. They still have plenty of time to rebook that date so they may let you off. Be polite and ask nicely if they would be willing to give any type of refund. I think you'll come out of it with at least some of that money back.

ScrimpAndSave · #25 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 09:38 AM

Thanks all.

SacredFaerie · #26 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 09:48 AM

Push comes to shove you can just throw all the resources at some other kind of party. And Steve's right. Given that it's so far away they might refund a piece of your deposits.

I'm so sorry.

KatieNK · #27 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 10:23 AM

I'm so very sorry!

That really sucks.

The money part and the flighty fiance part especially.

Pitman · #28 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 10:51 AM

Sorry to hear about that. I know this may sound cliche, but there's more fish in the sea. If he doesn't want to be with you, that's his lost. I know it seems tough now, but you'll be able to pick up, and move on.

ScrimpAndSave · #29 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 10:58 AM

I just went through some of the contracts...it looks like I can get some of my money back. My dad put down $2,000 on the reception venue...I definitely need to pay him back. I bought my bridesmaids gifts at Boscovs...and that was over 90 days ago so I can't return the items...but maybe I can get store credit and then use it right away just in case the store closes...

I dunno....I am really in a daze right now.

bjl584 · #30 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 11:07 AM

Sorry to hear that. I hope everything works out for you.

Fizgig · #31 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 11:14 AM

Maybe focusing on the deposits and money right now is a coping strategy (distraction), but please remember to tend to yourself. Long baths, walks, whatever soothes you. In the long run the money won't matter - take care of your heart. (hug) I'm sorry.

ScrimpAndSave · #32 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 11:19 AM

Fizgig...you are right. I also feel like I just want things sorted out...I like to plan and know what is coming...

ScrimpAndSave · #33 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 08:48 PM

I told my dad about it. I was really worried that he would be upset...he is just sad for me. He put $2,000 down on the venue and I told him I would like to pay him back, but he said not to worry about it.

I'm just looking at my future thinking...what now? I guess it is good that what I had set aside for the wedding is now just my money now. Also, I am not marrying into $140,000 worth of student loan debt. I know money isn't the really important thing right now...but I guess I just feel like I have to have some peace and some order in my life.

nitemarecooper · #34 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScrimpAndSave

I'm also $10,000 into it...nonrefundable.

ugh

Sorry that happened, but I know of a story where someone was very close to the wedding when one side called it off, it was just converted into a massive party. The attitude was "why waste the money and opportunity to party". Might not help hearing that, but it's the best I could say.

Nitemarecooper

MiikeB · #35 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 11:03 PM

My SO just ended it too...no wedding planned but we had discussed it kinda before...I know how you must feel, the pain is unreal.

Broken Arrow · #36 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScrimpAndSave

Also, I am not marrying into $140,000 worth of student loan debt. I know money isn't the really important thing right now...but I guess I just feel like I have to have some peace and some order in my life.

I'm really glad that you feel this way, because $140k is a big deal, no matter how you swing it.

Perhaps it would also help to think of it in terms of that it's better now than, say, later. Say, perhaps 3 kids and 8 1/2 years later, for them to all of a sudden decide that they've found someone else that is the love of their life, and oh by the way, you're a terrible person that's why I had to leave you, can I keep the car, house, and full custody of the kids?

Hehe. Seriously though, please take care. You deserve so much better, and now you'll get that chance.

DC Metro Crab · #37 (**permalink**) 01-02-2009, 11:55 PM

Really sorry to hear this.

disneysteve · #38 (**permalink**) 01-03-2009, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScrimpAndSave

I bought my bridesmaids gifts at Boscovs...and that was over 90 days ago so I can't return the items...but maybe I can get store credit and then use it right away just in case the store closes...

You bought your bridesmaids gifts well over a year before the wedding? You do like to plan ahead, don't you.

You can certainly return them and get a store credit. Just go in without a receipt.

ScrimpAndSave · #39 (**permalink**) 01-03-2009, 07:21 AM

Disneysteve,

That is what I was going to do. I did plan everything in advance...I totally wasn't expecting anything like this to happen. What REALLY gets to me...is that if it were 5 days ago, I could get my cash back.

It was about $350.

I'm just so angry and pissed off and just feel jaded in general...which I guess is normal.

I guess I can't afford my dad's house after all...which is really devastating. I will have to look for something cheaper. If I can save up around $50,000-$60,000 I can get into a home that is $200,000 and easily afford the payments...that would probably be a small 1950's cape cod...ugh. I hate my life.

ScrimpAndSave · #40 (**permalink**) 01-03-2009, 07:28 AM

I emailed my officiant...I only sent him $100 deposit, but I figured that it was a start. This is his response:

I am sorry that your wedding is called off and even more sorry that your personal life is off balance. I am sure things will come together as they are meant to be. Unfortunately, the deposit is designed to hold your date because I decline other wedding requests. That said, if I do book another wedding for that date, I will be glad to send back your deposit at that time.

Nice priest, huh?