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12-12-2008, 05:59 AM
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Envy
I found it very interest that today's blog entry was about envy. I have to say, I absolutely suffer from envy...and I have since I was a child. I'm not sure why - because my parents didn't try to keep up with anyway. We lead a comfy middle class lifestyle which I always felt was bordering upper middle because we never owed anyone anything.
But lately...and especially with my house search...I find myself looking at what other people buy and comparing what I want to what they have. Is there house newer? More spacious? Have higher end finishes? But it doesn't really matter. As far as other materialistic things go, I am happy knowing that even though I don't have my friends extensive wardrobe, I have enough coin in the bank to go out and buy everything she has with cash...while she is probably still paying off a credit card. But housing is different. I really need to decide what works best for me and my fiance and not worry about anyone else... 
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12-12-2008, 07:01 AM
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Housing is a funny issue because it has such an impact on our life. There's a lot of "commitment" to buying a house. Even in apartment searches I find myself going a "tad up" in price over and over again until I get to some ridiculous price, at which point I just go "what am I crazy?!!" and usually go back to one of the first things I looked at.
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12-12-2008, 07:03 AM
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I have been the same way at times. In the past few years however, I have found out that most of the people I thought could afford their lifestyle, really can't.
In our 20's, my wife and I wanted it all just like everyone else. It took until our 30's that we realized we did have a great thing going and to just have confidence in ourselves and stay the course. Sad thing is, too bad all these things come with age. You really need this knowledge and sense of confidence in what you are doing in your 20's, not your 30's, 40's and beyond. It may be too late for some by the time they figure that out.
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12-12-2008, 09:03 AM
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During the "keeping up with the Jones'" era I had a lot of envy. I saw all the outward trappings of wealth my peers and friends had and I was so jealous I didn't have that, and would not get it for a lonnnnggg time. I saw the irresponsibility around me, but no one was paying any consequences for it. I tried to keep up a little bit, and racked up a little bit of CC in the process (that Vegas trip KILLED me!).
But I did the best I could. Achievements seemed to go at a snails pace, but I graduated school, I got engaged, I bought a new vehicle, and I had a wedding. Some tiny piece of sense was left in me and I paid cash for each step of my life. It took me 3 yrs for a grad degree rather than the 2 my classmates did it in. I bought a basic vehicle without the bells and whistles... And now everyones house of cards has come down on top of them. I would not trade my secure lifestyle for any of my friends- now. Now that they are working 2 jobs. Now that they cannot afford this that or the other. Now that they are breaking down from the stress and regret. They are hating and blaming the economy, the government, their parents, whomever...they think its normal to pay with plastic, and they think everyone is in their situation. They think "we are all in this miserable time together". So now in my circle of friends...No one is getting "the latest and greatest" any time soon- which takes the envy out of me. We are finally all equal. Except I own my stuff. So I finally count myself lucky. The envy is finally gone.
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12-12-2008, 10:55 AM
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I'm feeling very envious of my newly married friends that are buying homes...they are using FHA loans and other creative ways of financing and putting very, very little money down. I know their interest rates are high...and they have higher monthly payments...but my goodness, but must be nice to have a place to call your own.
But I know it is smarter of me to pay very, very, very cheapo rent and simply save up 10%-20% for my house... I also see my friend's buying brand new, prefab houses that looks GORGEOUS on the outside...even though I know the inside is very cookie cutter...and the builders really don't use nice materials. I should just be happy with suburban house that my father wants to sell me. It is VERY good construction and just needs some cosmetic updates that don't need to be done right away...and I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks!
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12-12-2008, 11:59 AM
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Quote:
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12-14-2008, 01:36 PM
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So many in our society go to great lengths to emulate the rich. At least they think they are. They buy the McMansions and big new SUVs and pay for it all with borrowed money. Fortunately, it occurred to me at a fairly early age that the rich have money. Wealth is not measured in things, it's money. Money provides options, security, and can be passed on from one generation to the next. That's what I emulate.
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12-14-2008, 03:08 PM
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Appearances are deceiving. I know a couple with kids who upgraded thier home to a large high end one. Both have to work f/t to pay the note. My house is more modest and almost paid off. I have the luxury of staying home with a future child which I would not had we upgraded(my house is nice, just not over the top). IT is my choice.
There will always be richer, younger, thinner people with nicer stuff. Remember you have more than you tihnk.
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12-15-2008, 04:45 PM
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i got my house in 02, fixed rate, 20% down, 5.85%, and i still owe more than it's worth due to the crazy market. i am envious of those that are buying equivalent of my house for what i used for downpayment. it's all about timing.
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