Being frugal vs. being interesting

[sweeps]

This thread on whether going to college is a waste of time (and money) got me thinking about a broader topic that I've pondered but never posted about before.

I would argue there is a steep cost to being frugal: Being less interesting. I have found that spending money only on the necessities can make one pretty boring. (At least outside of this site, LOL)

And of course being less interesting can result in a poorer life. Maybe it means fewer friends, less fun at parties and get-togethers, fewer chances to meet people and potential clients, etc. etc. This is why I would argue that doing some things that are "expensive" -- going to college, taking up skiing, taking an "expensive" vacation, watching shows on HBO, etc. -- may not necessarily be a waste of money.

[jIM_Ohio]

Being frugal can have many meanings to many people.

Based on what I read here, I know my situation is more favorable than many- I have money in the bank, little debt (cars and mortgage only) and am young enough that investing now will pay many dividends later.

Where as others here need to cut every last dollar out of their budget to get out of 50k in debt or maybe even 100k in debt. I remember reading some of the blogs when I first joined and seeing a few people with 100k in cc debt spread on 5-6 cards which were maxed out made me realize I was doing OK on my own.

That being said, if a person is too frugal, I agree they will miss out and possibly have life pass them by. My wife and I tend to hang out with people which value the same things we do- like doing a bonfire in a backyard instead of going out to eat for example, or drinking beer and having a spontaneous block party instead of going out for another.

I drink not frugal beer (Sam Adams) and one of my neighbors does too. We are often trading beer in the middle of our cul de sac (he likes the darks and I like the ales), and that tends to get the wives, kids, and similar outside.

The key to being frugal is to still be social. If being frugal prevents you from being social, I suggest adding $15/week to the grocery budget, buying a 12 pack of beer, and hanging out with a friend for a few nights.

My 12 packs last me 3-4 weeks if I drink alone and 1 week if I drink with friends.

If a person wants to criticise the beer drinking, I was brought up that alcohol is a social lubricant... it does provide the non drinking people with cheap entertainment as well.

There are clearly non money ways for people to interact. You just need to live around the right people. Pick your friends well and ignore the family members which bother you.

[Ima saver]

I agree with Jim. I love going to cook outs, bon fires, playing cards, etc. with friends. It does not cost much to do those things.

[Snave]

Sweeps, add having kids to your list of expensive things that add more social interactions. It seems where I am from that a lot of your social interactions revolve around your children and activities they participate in.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by sweeps

I would argue there is a steep cost to being frugal: Being less interesting. I have found that spending money only on the necessities can make one pretty boring. (At least outside of this site, LOL)

I don't think frugal means spending only on necessities. I consider my wife and I to be frugal or thrifty or whatever other term you want to use. To me, it means being careful about how we spend our money, looking for a good deal and prioritizing our spending so that we devote more money to things that are important to us and little money to things that aren't important. It doesn't mean not spending money.

I think we are very interesting people. And not just here.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I agree with Jim about socializing. But my DH and I enjoy doing things ourselves. We like to hangout at home and work at it. We like to entertain at our house because we're proud of it, it's not fantastic, but we take pride in the fact we owned a place. We painted, put stuff up, etc and it meant a lot.

And my DH won't drink cheap beer. When we were broke, he didn't really drink. Now he only drinks Sam Adams minimum, or microbrews/speciality beers. Usually 1 a night and I will have a glass of wine occasionally, less now that we're thinking pregnancy. His favorite beer is $12/6pack Hoegaarden.

[maat55]

[quote=jIM_Ohio;180889]

If a person wants to criticise the beer drinking, I was brought up that alcohol is a social lubricant... it does provide the non drinking people with cheap entertainment as well.

We call it swing lubricant in golf. I've been on both sides of the spending spectrum. I enjoy being frugal more than interesting. Someday when I reach my goals, I will become interesting again.

[Gruntina]

Yes and No both on being less "interesting" when being frugal. For me, "interesting" is not the problem as being frugal does not mean less interesting and actually can be more interesting. Usually my creativity expands when I am not too busy all the time and leads me to DIY projects around the home or taking up gardening and artwork or trying out a new recipe for an exotic meal.

However, being frugal did change my social life. I had to choose who I hang out with. A lot of my co-workers are well off and always asking me to join them to fancy restaurants for lunches, daily latte runs and even inviting me for home parties that sells jewelry and clothing’s. They are awesome people but I do find myself limiting my time with them because it seems like I have to spend money to hang out with them. The girls talks always seems to be checking out everyone's outfit saying how cute they are and asking where they bought the items. I work in Silicon Valley and it is part of the culture there as well.

I have only one friend that I can go goodwill shopping with as the others get skeeved out.

I am more entertained when I stay home as my home is my haven that I truly enjoy. I do live out in the mountains and there are many people out there that are similar to me. Mostly because any shopping stores including Kmart and such are at least a 45 minute drive away, the people rather do something else. We tend to be the t-shirt and jeans people who enjoy bonfires, bbq's and the like. If you they have children, there is more events to attend.

I remember when I lived in the city; I had way more social life and went out more. There were free events hosted by the radio stations, art and wine festivals everywhere and they were a lot of fun with friends.

I think it depends on where you live and the culture for social events in regarding the types of opportunities.

[jIM_Ohio]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

I agree with Jim about socializing. But my DH and I enjoy doing things ourselves. We like to hangout at home and work at it. We like to entertain at our house because we're proud of it, it's not fantastic, but we take pride in the fact we owned a place. We painted, put stuff up, etc and it meant a lot.

And my DH won't drink cheap beer. When we were broke, he didn't really drink. Now he only drinks Sam Adams minimum, or microbrews/speciality beers. Usually 1 a night and I will have a glass of wine occasionally, less now that we're thinking pregnancy. His favorite beer is $12/6pack Hoegaarden.

Once you taste Sam Adams, it is difficult to drink anything less.

[cschin4]

would argue there is a steep cost to being frugal: Being less interesting. I have found that spending money only on the necessities can make one pretty boring.

Really? I find that the OPPOSITE is true. I think I am more interesting. I now engage in actual hobbies. I learned to play the guitar, i spend more time reading, cooking at home, I have recently learned to play chess and on and on. Before, I did what everyone else did which was go to the mall every weekend and eat out. Frankly, those people are boring. I don't understand how people can stand to shop constantly. I hate shopping. SPending a beautiful, sunny weekend in the mall is an absolute waste! You could be going outside hiking, gardening and doing a zillion things that cost very little but are very enjoyable.

[scfr]

I would say that sometimes it makes you more interesting, but sometimes less.

On the one hand, I have actually improved my social life through frugal activities. Volunteering in my community, getting involved in neighborhood "game nights," and going to my dog's off-leash play group really helped me form bonds in my community. All of those activities were free. Also, I have had many nice conversations with people I met at my garage sales, selling on Craigslist, and freecycling. I don't recall ever striking up a conversation with a casual stranger while shopping at the mall.

On the other hand, if you refuse to do interesting things that you can afford just because they cost money, then that indeed can make you a bit boring. Case in point: When my DH had to layover in DC on a business trip, I strongly encouraged him to take a guided tour to see the sights (since his time was limited and he would not have been able to walk everywhere). He refused to reserve a spot because of the cost ... Something he dearly regretted when he arrived, saw how amazing the city was, decided he wanted the tour after all, but it was too late because they were sold out. It would have been money very well spent, and he missed a great opportunity. A bit boring indeed.

[PrincessPerky]

I think that depends on what you find interesting.

to me a good game with friends is far better than any amount of clothing jewelry ect.

Now I do have a couple expensive kids but half the social stuff around them isn't as interesting as the grown up cheaper stuff.

[Caoineag]

I also think that it can go either way. I do know that when we recently met an acquaintance of a friend, he founds us more interesting than the friend because of our lifestyle and values.

But then, I don't equate frugal with not spending money. I equate not spending money with cheapskate and frugal with living below your means and planning well for your future.

[MonkeyMama]

I disagree. My frugal friends are the most interesting. The ones who kind of go with the herd and don't think for themselves are the ones who don't really think about their finances, etc.

My friends who are frugal are REALLY interesting on the other hand.

I don't think we are boring at all.

P.S. I love my job and my dh is following his own interesting dreams. I find it really boring to hang around people who hate their jobs and lives. Seems to be the norm though. I just find it gets old and those people definitely think we are interesting. Even if they think we are a little stingy.

[simpleyme]

me and Dh went and test drove 2 victory motorcycles and got free concert tickets last month ;-)

we spent not one dime and got to go see Peter Frampton for free as well as Pat Benatar which was at a huge garden and we were able to tour the gardens for free with our free concert tickets and got 2 ride 20K motorcycles we are so dang frugal and uninteresting it must suck to be us LOL

[feh]

Put me in the camp of "frugality does not equal dullness". I really don't see what one has to do with the other.

One of my favorite activities is having deep, serious conversations with friends and family, perhaps over beers.

[JanH]

The most interesting people I know are the frugal ones. They are the most creative with their lives. But, that just may be the ones I feel most comfortable with. I love hearing about or seeing the interesting things they do to keep life fun. And, most do their own projects around the house and have done some amazing things with their houses and yards. Trips are carefully planned and based on family experiences. I hope to join their ranks one day. My SIL is the most amazing. She has redone her house and yard with cast offs from stores and construction projects. She has a terrific eye and a husband with skills. Their house is beautiful and the yard soothing and wonderful. And their family time is often camping or time on the lake with friends. She has friends that are wealthy and those who are not. But, they don't change their lives to fit either category. They are just frugal. I didn't realize until this thread just how many frugal people I have in my life. Most of them are. Interesting! I should pay more attention on HOW they accomplish it!

[Broken Arrow]

I'm going to take a stand with sweeps on this one.

Before I was re-born as a frugal individual, I was a part of the general self defense community. A community where, for the most part, frugality couldn't possibly be farther from their collective minds. To them, frugality is trying to convince their wives that, yes indeed, my $1500 rifle really do need that $1200 scope and $700 flashlight attachment.

Hey, I'm just telling you the truth as I have seen it.

Since then, I've... lost touch with that community at large. I still share the same interest, but find that I simply can not keep up. Oh sure, I can buy a cheaper scope for maybe $350 if I searched hard enough, but really, it's just an expensive hobby to keep up to begin with. Even if you are a paid professional.

So, in some cases, I would say that yes indeed, being frugal can be very uninteresting.

On the other hand, I am trying to be more involved in activities that doesn't require as much money, and perhaps that will help. This part is still a work in progress, but still, my answer to the question would be, "It depends". As in, it depends on what you want to get into. Being frugal in itself may also be interesting, but I don't think that's always an easy feat to pull off either.

At least, that's been my personal experience so far....

[Aleta]

Some of the people who aren't frugal are in your face about how much they spent on their new toy and by the way "you really do need one of these". They tell you you really need to live. It's always a comparison game. You're never really comfortable around them.

I've always been frugal but more so now and I just don't have the want to hang out with people lwho don't share my values. You definitely can't keep up with them, so what's the point.

I do visit with people that aren't frugal but I just don't hang with them as I would have years ago. My being frugal doesn't bother me but it does to those who don't watch their pennies.

[Broken Arrow]

Aleta:
Yeah, I'm trying my hand now at being around people who may be more financially conscientious. Hopefully that will work out better.

To be fair, there are also self defense folks who are frugal.... Hmm, now that I think about it, I think they are frugal out of necessity, not out of interest being frugal per se. So, they would view frugality more of a necessary evil, than as a subject of interest.... Unfortunately.

But anyways, yes, I'm trying to find a different kind of community that may be more financially aware. I'm sure they are out there. But still working on it.

For what it's worth, *I* find frugality interesting. But I have yet to find anyone in real life that shares that view.