Being frugal vs. being interesting

[sweeps]

Sure some people are naturally interesting regardless of what they may do, just like some people are naturally healthy even though they may never exercise. Also knitting may be an interesting topic for 40+ year old women, but not for the average guy.

I'm not knocking being frugal by any means-- I'm a moderator at a site called SavingAdvice for crying out loud. But I think this is a valid question in the Real World.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
Person 1: I just got back from an amazing trip to Spain! First, we.... [an hour of conversation proceeds] Have you been to Europe?
Person 2: No, but I did put an extra $10,000 in my Roth IRA, and I just caulked all my windows so I'll save lots on my gas bill this winter!
Person 1: Uh, great...

[disneysteve]

sweeps, you are comparing apples to oranges. Person 2 could have also replied like this:

We just got back from a camping trip in New Hampshire. One day, while we were hiking up Cannon Mountain, we saw a black bear on the trail. He was huge. Let me show you some pictures I took. Another day, we rented kayaks on Lake Winnipesaukee. On the way back from there, we stopped at a winery and took a vineyard tour and did some wine tasting. We did a lot of other really fun and interesting things while we were there. Have you ever been to New Hampshire? No. You really ought to plan a trip there some time.

You seem to keep using frugal to mean miserly, not spending any money that isn't absolutely necessary to spend. I don't think it means that at all.

[Gailete]

I think a person is either boring or interesting depending on them and their personality to start with. It wouldn't have anything to do with how much the save and scrimp. Am I less interesting because I check out about 300 books a year from the library to read rather than buy 300 books a year to read? Hardly. Am I less interesting because I can make French onion soup from scratch rather than go to a restaurant and pay $7 for a tiny bowl? I have met many kinds of people in my life, some funny, some not, some interesting, some as boring as watching paint dry and I have never thought it had anything to do with their bank account what their personality was like. Personality is shaped by experiences and and something innate to the person themself.

Gail

[PrincessPerky]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

sweeps, you are comparing apples to oranges. Person 2 could have also replied like this:

......

You seem to keep using frugal to mean miserly, not spending any money that isn't absolutely necessary to spend. I don't think it means that at all.

Ditto!

Besides of the folk we know who took 'real' vacations...not one had anything interesting to say about them. Maybe it's cause they didn't go to Spain? Is Spain the only interesting place? and is it really that expensive? I can't even think of one thing I have read that would make me really want to go....though I did read their dinners tend to be very late (siesta in midday and all) , children are rarer and cherished more, though that might be a specific locality.


Personally I would have to tune out of person ones conversation long before they made it to an hour....a description of ones travels is about as boring as the travel channel on radio......

If you really like that sort of conversation, read up on exotic locals, watch the travel channel, and save up for a big vacation with your splurge money, might take 5 years rather than 5 minutes of getting in debt, but you will have a story of your own at the end.

[kork13]

hahaha .... hmmmm.... this string brings up a "problem" i'm having almost exactly... please bear with me as I explain...

I'm not much of a socialite--I generally collect a small, close-knit group of friends, and my idea of 'fun' is just spending time with them. I don't care what we're doing, whether going out for dinner, bowling, hiking, seeing a new movie, whatever.

Now I just moved across the country, got a significant pay raise (new job, you might say...), and am living with a couple roommates with whom I get along, but I don't really hang out with them alot. They go out to clubs and parties, I stay home to read books or read stuff like this on the internet, because what interests me most is what people think, and how they think.

So now, after all of my expenses, I have about $1400 that is completely disposable--nearly 40% of my paycheck. Because I have nothing to do with it, I'm putting close to $1100 into various savings vehicles, but I don't know what to do with the rest. I live very simply, generally buying just what I need, and the occasional thing just for fun. I feel ridiculous saying it, but I just don't know what to do with my extra money. I know that I should use it to do something fun occasionally, but I really am a rather boring person, and I can't bring myself to spend money on anything I'm not certain that I want to do. Until such time as I bring myself to do something, it all gets socked away. While many will say that's a great thing, I feel like I'm wasting my time, being very young and having abounding opportunities.

I guess in all of this, I'm just trying to demonstrate that some people, like myself, just live frugally by nature, and to be "interesting" is.... a challenge. I'm looking to start windsurfing and scuba diving again like I used to before college, but again, there's the inexplicable urge to not bother spending the money. So call me crazy..........

[LivingAlmostLarge]

oh absolutely. DH and I camped a lot when we were students. We did a lot of stupid things too like just driving and camping. So our trips were we just drove and stopped when we felt like it. DW got scared of bears and our dog got a tick in his ear so we stopped the trip short and went home. And we went to the desert, saw coyotes who looked at our dog as a tasty morsel so we carried him 15 miles on a trail back. And his feet were burning from the desert sand to boot. We carried him like a baby in the backpack!

Just kinda weird trips like that. And we camped on the beach in Ensenada and stuff. I think it's somewhat interesting. There are other stories as well. We sort of just do things spur of the moment.

[feh]

Originally Posted by kork13

hahaha .... hmmmm.... this string brings up a "problem" i'm having almost exactly... please bear with me as I explain...

I'm not much of a socialite--I generally collect a small, close-knit group of friends, and my idea of 'fun' is just spending time with them. I don't care what we're doing, whether going out for dinner, bowling, hiking, seeing a new movie, whatever.

Now I just moved across the country, got a significant pay raise (new job, you might say...), and am living with a couple roommates with whom I get along, but I don't really hang out with them alot. They go out to clubs and parties, I stay home to read books or read stuff like this on the internet, because what interests me most is what people think, and how they think.

So now, after all of my expenses, I have about $1400 that is completely disposable--nearly 40% of my paycheck. Because I have nothing to do with it, I'm putting close to $1100 into various savings vehicles, but I don't know what to do with the rest. I live very simply, generally buying just what I need, and the occasional thing just for fun. I feel ridiculous saying it, but I just don't know what to do with my extra money. I know that I should use it to do something fun occasionally, but I really am a rather boring person, and I can't bring myself to spend money on anything I'm not certain that I want to do. Until such time as I bring myself to do something, it all gets socked away. While many will say that's a great thing, I feel like I'm wasting my time, being very young and having abounding opportunities.

I guess in all of this, I'm just trying to demonstrate that some people, like myself, just live frugally by nature, and to be "interesting" is.... a challenge. I'm looking to start windsurfing and scuba diving again like I used to before college, but again, there's the inexplicable urge to not bother spending the money. So call me crazy..........

I'm not going to call you crazy. Saving when you're young is the best way to retire early. When you're 50 and don't need to work and can do anything you're interested in, you'll be very happy you lived frugally when you were young.

Money does not have to be spent to have fun or to be interesting. That mindset is nothing but the result of good ol' corporate marketing that permeates our culture.

Consume! Consume! Consume! Achtung!

[PrincessPerky]

Originally Posted by kork13

I guess in all of this, I'm just trying to demonstrate that some people, like myself, just live frugally by nature, and to be "interesting" is.... a challenge. I'm looking to start windsurfing and scuba diving again like I used to before college, but again, there's the inexplicable urge to not bother spending the money. So call me crazy..........

Are you bored? if not there is no reason you ahve to stop reading to get out. (though a bit of fresh air is healthy)

If you don't want to spend money but are a bit bored, try free options. Just because you have money doesn't mean you have to spend it.

Try a book club at the library, or a chess/go/game club. Or my personal favorite, volunteer some time, wherever you feel most interested, your time will help both you and others. And while most consider staying in boring, you might find you are a rather interesting person, who likes to stay in.

[Broken Arrow]

kork, I don' t think there's any need to try at all. We are who we are, and there's nothing wrong with that. The rest, in all seriousness, is just superficial labels we slap on things, and they're highly subjective anyway. Some may find it boring, but I find it refreshing and relaxing. I think it's good that you're able to save so much so naturally.

[Staceyy]

I think what you're saying is that these folks can afford to do different things than the average Joe, and to you this makes it more interesting. Its nice to have a myriad of experiences but anyone with any budget can be interesting.

[cschin4]

but I really am a rather boring person, and I can't bring myself to spend money on anything I'm not certain that I want to do

There is nothing wrong with being a "boring" person. However, if you are bored with being a "boring" person, then you can certainly change that. And, saving for a rainy day is commendable. However, you should not neglect enjoying today always in favor for tommorrow. Life is a balance. You should work hard, save, but also enjoy today as well. So, I would not neglect spending on some things that you enjoy. However, your post indicates that you seem to feel that you should be spending but really don't want to. THere are no "shoulds". It is your money and you may spend or save as you choose. My point is that money is a tool. You need it to live but you can also use it to enhance your life as well.

[Gailete]

Kork, It sounds like what you need is to find yourself a small group of friends at your new location. Making friends after school can be difficult. Most people end up with 'friends' from work, but once you move on you realize that those were only temporary friends.

I you did some volunteer activities or joined a club, or got back into things that you prviously did perhaps you would find a small group of friends to do some things with. I love to read and do a lot of it so I refuse to think that reading makes a person boring! And there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home when your apartment mates go out clubbing--to me going out drinking and listening to loud music would be the ultimate in boring. It is just your perspective.

It does sound like you would like to be involved in something else, so go find it! If you like books, perhaps you could volunteer at the library.

[MaxPowers]

One of my friends has a minimum wage paying job. She is always in debt and has trouble feeding herself and her kids. but she buys TVs and Xboxs and stupid stuff. I know in her mind, she is being more interesting by having cool stuff. Thinking people will like her more if she has a 72inch TV. Or trying to go to college to get an education so she can get a decent job... and taking wind surfing. That view of life is very sad.

Went to the club with some of my friends one day. This guy came along with us, he had the blingin' grill, the blingin' rings, the big ass T shirt with money on it, nice shoes... This guy was dressed like he had a million bucks... and was a rapper. We got the the club and the guy didn't even have entry money.

Does anyone else do this? Before I buy something expensive (over ~$100) I think about it a long time. Research it and everything. My friends call me cheep because of this. I call it not being impulsive.
Saving money is also a hobby to me. Sit back and watch it grow. or die =(

[ScrimpAndSave]

I think frugal ppl. are more interesting because they see the bigger picture.

[Ima saver]

Saving money has always been a hobby with me too. We always become friends with people that we build houses for and most of them are quite well to do. We get invited to their parties all the time!! The women are all what I would call "high maintenance" women who spend a fortune on their clothes and their appearance. I am not!
I hope that they do no find me boring because of that! I won the dance contest at the 50's party and first prize for costume at the Halloween party because I did NOT dress glamorous like all the other women.
I am who I am and I am happy with that!

[kork13]

Max, I'm exactly the same way... very deliberate about spending my money.

And back home, in Guam, a HUGE portion of the island all do exactly what you described... spend absurd amounts of money on cars, TV's, clothing, game systems, whatever else, then many of them are on food stamps (don't ask me how), and/or live in a wood frame and aluminum sheeting "house". Not exactly something that will withstand typhoons (hurricanes) very well, which swing through about 4-5 times every year.

I don't know how or why someone would choose to live that way, but.... to each his own, i guess....

[cashing_in]

How about earning while enjoying and being interesting too.
There are many novel ways where one can truly unearth the inner qualities and put it to use in appropriate situations and earning some extra cash.
It is not only being frugal that saves money, but you can earn money while partying... I know a person who knew magic, now what he used to do is host magic shows in tours and cruises for which he did not charge anything but used to travel free of cost.

[rob62521]

I think people are interesting based on their personalities, but the media and advertising has brain washed so many into thinking that in order to be interesting you have to have the newest, latest, biggest, expensive whatever! And so many buy into that (sorry for the pun!). I'm with Disneysteve and many of you, being frugal isn't being cheap or miserly, but being good stewards with what you have. Some of my favorite people aren't rich, but are interesting because of how they look at life and how they treat us...nice!

[LuxLiving]

"It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating." ~Oscar Wilde, The Model Millionaire, A Note of Admiration