Baby Shower for Baby #3????

[Coleroo]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

If the kids are opposite sex, you could need a lot in the clothing department. Even if the kids are the same sex, they may not be the same size in the same season. Having a nice warm winter outfit doesn't do any good if baby #2 outgrows it by September.

If the kids are close in age, you could find that you need duplicates of items that are still in use by baby #1: additional bedding, a double stroller, a second car seat, etc.

That's a good point...in that case, it would probably be "less tacky" to have a "gift card" shower then, perhaps with a note of generic things the couple hoped to afford. But even then, clothes are the easiest to get ahold of without needing a shower...women are always passing clothes along second hand (craigslist and freecycle usually has a lot of free baby clothes in my area) or they can be had for really cheap in consignment / thrift stores.

I imagine some people wouldn't want to do the second hand thing though, which would cause worry about clothes.

I could definitely see family wanting to help with strollers or carseats though.

[Gailete]

What is tacky is it appears that the mother is giving the daughter the shower. If you follow proper etiquette a family member should never give a person a shower and most especially a person shouldn't give themselves a shower much less TELL people what to buy.

Or society is hopelessly floundering in a sea of people wanting presents so they figure out any means of getting them that they can. A shower should be given by a caring friend and if it is for a third child, it is because that mama truly needs baby things such as all her cloth diapers have worn out. An outfit or pack of diapers is a very adequate present. I can't get over the presents that people give for wedding and baby showers these days. They cost huge sums of money and make presents from frugal folks like me look positively cheap although I usually make my gifts and they are high quality homemade presents it is hard to compete against a $300 gift. I am very glad that I am finally of an age that I'm no longer in the baby/wedding shower circuit. I don't miss going to them.

[cicy33]

Originally Posted by Gailete

What is tacky is it appears that the mother is giving the daughter the shower. If you follow proper etiquette a family member should never give a person a shower and most especially a person shouldn't give themselves a shower much less TELL people what to buy.

Why is that tacky? maybe she doesn't have a lot of friends that are into that. I think that mothers are the perfect person to host a baby shower. I agree no one should tell anyone what to buy or even if to buy. Gifts should not be more than $20 or $30 in my opinion. Most people cannot afford much more than that. I think that if the mother is okay with having a baby shower and her friends come happily then who else cares? If someone thinks that it is wrong or tacky then they simply should not go. To go with a predisposed opinion that could sour the party is very tacky. A baby is a blessing to be celebrated. and as said, the babies could grow differently, be born different seasons, different sexes. all sorts of things. My daughters favorite thing when her daughter was born was to have someone come over and watch the baby for an hour or two so she could sleep. Not everything is about money.

[Gailete]

I realize that we live in a whole new world today and proper etiquette has flown out the window, but for a mother to give her daughter a shower and ask people to come and bring gifts is greed based and a true No-no. A real friend of the pregnant mom will give a gift or a frozen dish or whatever if she would have anyhow, but to send out invites to people who wouldn't necessarily be gifting a person for that occassion puts them in an awkward position of saying no or feeling compelled to come even if they don't want to or can't afford another gift. Proper etiquette calls for a friend of the pregnant woman to give a shower if one is given. But as I said, most people don't care about etiquette. I however do. As the origianal poster was asking if we thought it was tacky, I responded yes, I thought it was tacky. The description of the pregnant woman was one who is greedy and just the reason that I wouldn't give or go to a shower for her.

[Aleta]

I asked my son last night if my dil now pregnant with the 2nd child and expecting in a couple of months if she was going to have a shower. He said, "Mom, we already had a shower for the first one and you shouldn't have a shower for the second baby because you should have had most of the items most people want and need." He said if people want to bring the baby a present when they come over to see the baby, that's fine. He said the same thing about diapers, wipes, etc being very needed and wanted items.

I agree with you Gailete that proper etiquette has flown out of the window.

[cicy33]

I guess then I am very out there. I wasn't even aware that a mother isn't supposed to do that for her daughter. I know usually friends do it but didn't know there was a rule. So it is okay for the friends to send out the invites and ask for gifts but not the mom? how is that any better? I thought that an invite to a baby shower was not a request for a gift but rather for your presence. true, most people bring a gift. I did not as I had already given my daughter her gift for the baby privately. but most people that attended did though a few did not. nobody noticed or said anything. THAT would be tacky.

[disneysteve]

I see nothing wrong with inviting friends and family to a party to celebrate a new baby. I don't think there is any etiquette rule against that. The tacky part is in asking for gifts, especially particular gifts, expecting your guests to spend a certain amount or buy a certain item. Gift giving should be at the discretion of the giver, not the receiver.