Should I call off the wedding?

[cschin4]

This situation would make me wonder what else she has never bothered to tell you.

I think this is exactly the WRONG approach. I think this makes the assumption that she is "hiding" something, being deceitful and painting her as a "bad" person and on and on. If you truly want to destroy your relationship, then that is the path to take. I see no reason to assume she is not telling you the truth and in her eyes it probably was just as she said "no big deal".
And, as another poster said, you can try to shield your life from all the bad but in doing so, you often miss the good.
Everyone has cold feet. Obviously, finances should have been discussed prior to this so you are both at fault. However, how long have you been dating and engaged? $90K isn't exactly pocket change either.

[cptacek]

Can you go to pre-marital counseling? We went to an Engaged Encounter weekend and it was a 3 day weekend in the format of the leaders giving the group their stories, each person writing in a notebook a letter to the other person about that topic, and then us discussing that topic privately (separate from the group.) You are very focused on what the other person wants and it is a retreat from all the wedding hoopla that sometimes gets more important than preparing for marriage.

I know the Catholic Church has these, and I bet most other religions and some civic organizations probably put them on too (don't know...didn't have to look). It is a very non-threatening way to talk about all these issues, some you don't even think to bring up.