Save money on a wedding

[globetrotter]

I have a friend getting married this spring. She has asked me to help out with the planning and I have no idea what to do. They both already have credit card debt and they are planning like they have just won the lottery. if they don't scale down some, they are going to be in debt for the first ten years of their life together just from the wedding.

I don't think she will listen, but I need ideas to reduce wedding costs that I can at least suggest to her. Since she has asked me to help, I feel it is my duty to do that. If she doesn't listen, that is fine and her choice, but I don't want to feel that I didn't at least try to make the wedding reasonable in price.

If anyone has suggestions on how to reduce wedding costs without making it look cheap I'd be grateful to hear them.

[PennyPincher]

I'm not yet married, but I'm planning on the following:

-Plan for a Friday night or Sunday wedding, as Saturdays are most expensive.
-Plan for simple centerpieces ~ hurricane lamps and taper candles are classy and elegant, and CHEAP! Even if you place them on mirrored squares for added beauty, each table can be done at about $5-8 ~ MUCH less than ornate floral arrangements.
-Make the invitations. Kits can easily be purchased at any office supply store, and will average $1 each + ink to print.
-Don't give away parting gifts. Guests rarely keep them anyhow. Even better ~ choose a charity to donate to in lieu of gifts, and let your guests know with a simple card at the table.

Just to get the ideas flowing...

[kashi]

fake flowers are a lot cheaper than real ones. you can make bouquets and centerpieces to save some cash. with a little bit of ribbon and some green florists tape, they can be gorgeous.

suggest that they make the favors and centerpieces on the dinner tables, if they are having a dinner. I've known people who gave inexpensive potted plants, homemade candy, and homemade bath salts as favors.

buffet dinners are often cheaper than plate dinners, and they please more people with variety.

forego the honeymoon, or go somewhere local for a couple of days to celebrate.

if they want liquor at the wedding, make it a limited open bar (time constraints), no open bar at all, or only free champagne.

ask around for friends of friends who are photographers, caterers, musicians, press owners (for programs, invitations, etc), florists, ministers or justices of the peace. they may be cheaper and more willing to help.

make your own invitations or programs with fancy paper and your printer.

RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH. that's the only way they are going to find good deals.

what a great friend you are to think of their financial state and try to help!! just know when to back away and let them create their own debt...some people are hellbent on having ice swans on their "special day" when they can hardly afford paper ones, and they won't be convinced otherwise.

[MrsChambers]

Three things:

1) all of the above idea's are great and attainable for anyone (crafty or not)
2) What is most important to your friends?
A wonderful wedding or a wonderful marriage?
with that in mind I would also remind them:
3) more then 50% of marriages end in divorce... the #1 reason listed for a divorce.
MONEY

the WORSE thing that they could do to start of their life together is get way into debt...

[miclason]

A friend recently got married and he says he opted for a night-time (7:00pm) wedding because, when you marry in the afternoon, people can stay longer at the party (he reports going to a wedding that started in the afternoon and the last guests left at around 4:00am ...

One thing that is usual for weddings in El Salvador is to send invitations for the ceremony to all your friends/work colleagues, etc, and inviting only the closest relatives/friends to the dinner party...I don't know if that is acceptable in your country, though...

[lieweheksie]

When we got married 8 years ago- we managed on quite a tight budget and paid cash for everything- ask family and friends for help- as we allready living together we asked our talented family and friendsfor gifts of time and talent for the wedding rather than another toaster my MIL made my dress, several of the aunts did all the catering, cousin did the photos
We served no alchol- religous reasons and food was traditonal indian- curries etc which we did buffet style for each table- no waste,especailly as we had a large number of children there
Remind your friend to focus on the marriage- which should last forever vs the wedding which is one day

[PrincessPerky]

Some big things about the wedding will most likly be 'sooo important' to your friend, and who can blame someone who dreams about a wedding from childhood! of course it is supposed to be perfect, but I doubt any advice to the contrary will sway her. I was lucky that my mother paid for my wedding and my inaws paid for the drinks. I didn't buy everything I wanted though it was a thought for spite . I did decide on two splurges, the flowers were very expensive, and I had my MIL get "good chanmpagne" for the head table. I would definatly recomend anyone figuring out what is really special about htat day and go with a splurge or two, save on the rest.

[akaivyleaf]

Well look for a place to host the affair, both ceremony and reception and ask friends/family for help. There are many places who offer discount rates for orgainzations, if you know a friend who has a membership in a lodge, or in a sorority/fraternity that has a house, or works for the city, and the city has a community center- ask them to secure the place with you (not necessarily financially) but you can get the benefit of their discount.

Don't invite the world.... have an intimate ceremony. If you're not starting out, why not have a potluck for a reception. In lieu of gifts, bring a dish. (Most people will pony up a gift and bring a dish) If not, have your families cater the affair.

Decorations, having the ceremony and reception in the same place saves on decorations as you only have to have one set. You can use the bridesmaids bouquets as centerpieces on the table in some cases. If you must have live flowers, buy them at places like Costco, or SAMS.

Back to asking people for help. If you live in a large metropolitan city or if you're within driving distance to one, there is a central floral wholesaler and you'd be suprised who can shop there. If you're great friends with you minister, your church is entitled to an account and you can shop for flowers at wholesale prices. Again, organizations are afforded discounts so check to see if your organization or employer is offered a discount and shop that way. You might be at the mercy of what flowers are in season at your time of wedding but it is a significant savings. There is also wholesale grocerer suppliers as well. My point is to go to the top, buy where the stores buy and its relatively easy to do with the right credentails or connections.

Getting married on a weeknight is much less costly than getting married on the weekend. What's wrong with having a special occasion to go to on a Wednesday night as opposed to Saturday. But I have also seen people get married after church on Sunday when the church is already decorated (especially around Christmas). The weekday night thing is different and although people might have regularly scheduled things to do on a weeknight, most are willing to forgo normal obligations once...for something special...

I think most of all, as others have said, remember that its strictly about the marriage. Not necessarily the wedding which I've seen many people plan, and call me the next day after the ceremony and wonder "what now?"

[miclason]

Oh, another thing: find out from the church whether other people are getting married that day, then you could get together and split the cost of decorating the church....(I did that with two other couples, we got together and decided on the color of the flowers...I didn't like the bows they put up for the wedding before mine , so we had someone take them down before our ceremony)