One last night

[jIM_Ohio]

I believe DS1 is coming home on Saturday from NICU.

Which means Friday night is the last night my wife and I have to go on a date for quite some time.

If you had ONE night where you could go out and do something, what would you do?

I know getting lots of sleep is important- what would you do before you got the sleep?

[AmbitiousSaver]

Sometimes the best things in life are free, my favorite memories of DH and I are walking along the beach. I know that's cliche but still. Even 9 years later that is still our favorite past time... walking along the beach on Coronado island, Waikiki, down at the boardwalk on the East Coast, just walking around town and finding things to do/talk about. Its cheap too.

[disneysteve]

We are at the other end of the "baby" process as our 12 year old is starting to be away from home overnight occasionally. What do we do on those rare occasions? We decide on something special for dinner and spend time shopping and preparing and cooking together at home in peace. I'll mix up a couple of martinis. We'll enjoy a quiet dinner and then watch a movie on DVD before doing some other adult activity.

A couple of times when we had the day free, we went down to Atlantic City, gambled some, had a nice lunch, browsed some shops and came home. We just did that a week ago Friday and it was a very nice day.

BTW, congrats on having one of the kids coming home. I know that's a big step.

[Broken Arrow]

Originally Posted by jIM_Ohio

If you had ONE night where you could go out and do something, what would you do?

I know getting lots of sleep is important- what would you do before you got the sleep?

Ooh, that's a great question. But in the interesting of keeping the forum family-friendly....

No, seriously, my ex and I just went out for sushi. We both love sushi, and so that was our thing anyway.

I suppose whatever you and your wife enjoy doing together... whatever "your thing" is?

[sweeps]

Congrats on the 1st one coming home...

We've been to the movie theater once since we've had kids, so I would choose to see a movie (Indiana Jones, perhaps? ), and we love this Japanese restaurant (similar to Benihana... but better) so we'd probably go there for dinner.

[LuxLiving]

Dinner, dancing, theatre or live band event.

Bowling? Ice-skating? Roller-skating? Picnic under the stars?

Seriously, why not ask your wife what her dream date would be and then pull it off!

[jIM_Ohio]

I am hoping the parents on the forum can share some insight as to what gets removed from social life once infants and toddlers are present. The movie idea is a good one.

[sounderella]

Just go out and do something you both would like to do. Go out to dinner and a movie. I'm with Lux....dream date sounds great!

[cashqueen]

We always enjoyed dining out at a nice restaurant. Or (in our younger days anyway) going to a pub and enjoying some live music.

Congrats on Baby #1 coming home. What a joyful event!!!

[sounderella]

I'm younger with a child (2 yrs) and we don't get invited a lot now b/c our friends are still into the bar scene. If you have friends who have smaller children then you're gonna get invited over more with them which is probably a good thing. We have a lot of cookouts now so we can mix both of those friends and still have kids around. It all really depends if you're gonna have access to a babysitter too.

[LuxLiving]

What gets removed? For a Mom of the toddler set until well after 4 yrs of age? Going to the bathroom by yourself!!

How about a spa night?

[gackle]

You don't have to have anything removed from the social life. Sure, you start to live life more responsibly, but don't underestimate the importance of still dating your wife. Take her out, just the two of you, on a regular basis. Babysitters can add up after awhile; we usually swap date nights with other friends who have kids. We'll watch their kids while they go out and vice versa the next weekend or night or whatever.

Congrats on baby #1! On a side note, some lessons we learned after our first two:

• You're baby is now used to the lights and noise from the hospital nursery. Night #1 at home may be tough because it will be quiet and dark.
• Breast feed if you can. It's cheaper and much better for the baby.
• Jar baby food is expensive. Buy veggies from the store, puree them in the blender, then freeze them in ice cube trays. The cube is a great size for a serving. (Avoid beets - they're messy and stain clothes )
• Buy baby/toddler clothes from resale shops. They don't last long enough to spend the money to buy them new and the child doesn't care at this point where you get their clothes from.

Finally, read Baby Wise if you haven't yet. It eliminates the frustration of not understanding why your baby is crying by putting them on a schedule. It also talks about the importance of having your baby learn how to fall asleep on their own without the help of parental rocking or sleep aides. Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but this is savingadvice.com and the book was soo helpful to us that I can't help recommending it to new parents.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by jIM_Ohio

I am hoping the parents on the forum can share some insight as to what gets removed from social life once infants and toddlers are present.

I think it really depends on what your life was before the babies. My wife and I weren't into clubs and dancing and such. We were more likely to wander around the mall, meet friends for dinner or watch a movie at home. After our daughter was born, we continued to do those things. We were fortunate to have my mother living in the area available to babysit whenever we needed her which made things much easier (and cheaper). Most of our friends were having kids the same time as us, plus we made new friends through playgroups, mommy and me classes, etc. So our social life just shifted to more family-oriented things.

We also never hesitated to take our daughter with us to most places (not a theater but certainly a mall or restaurant). If she acted up, we'd get up and take her out (unlike some other patrons ). And we never stopped traveling. Her first trip to Disney World was at 5-1/2 months, and we drove from NJ. Her first plane flight was at 1 year. Her first cruise was age 6.

[LuxLiving]

I'm going to agree with the continue dating theme. You and your wife can be easily overcome by the stresses of two babies. Finding ways to pamper & de-stress yourselves will become more and more important. Make a plan to have at least two nights out a month. Yes, you'll talk about the babies, but get away for a bit of respite.

[noppenbd]

Maybe plan a dinner but leave the rest of the night open to whatever you are in the mood for. That is something you definitely cannot do when you have kids! If you want something more structured, I vote for the movie as well. It is something I really miss. My parents watch our daughter 2-3 days a week so we feel guilty asking them to come watch her on the weekends. Hence movies are a special occasion (we're seeing Indy for my birthday next week).

[cashqueen]

Originally Posted by gackle

Finally, read Baby Wise if you haven't yet. It eliminates the frustration of not understanding why your baby is crying by putting them on a schedule. It also talks about the importance of having your baby learn how to fall asleep on their own without the help of parental rocking or sleep aides. Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but this is savingadvice.com and the book was soo helpful to us that I can't help recommending it to new parents.

I didn't care for this book at all, but it all depends on your parenting style. I'm more of a Dr. Sears kinda gal myself (cosleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing clothdiapering). It's personal preference. I know if it was my baby coming home after all this time you'd have to pry that baby out of my arms! Good luck and have a nice 'last night.' Of course it's the beginning of something wonderful for you too.

[PrincessPerky]

Congrats on bringing one home!

My social life is similar except minus the former heavy drinking..and not so family friendly events accompanying it..which is prolly a good thing . That and more friends come here rather than meeting out..that way I can put my kids to sleep and continue to have fun, when you are out your kid is often up (as a toddler and older). Which you will pay for in the morning.

As to what to do with a kid free night..sleep and before the sleep..enjoy the kid free bedroom. last chance for not having to lock the door (or using the living room/kitchen, whatever), and not having a baby monitor or one ear open for the possible interruption. That would be my plan if I had a kid free night.

[zakity]

Cook up some meals to have in the freezer.

Buy some healthy, easy-to-grab foods to have on hand.

Clean the whole house top to bottom.

Sleep.

[creditcardfree]

Comedy club?

But I really think it is important to have time together...talking and communicating expectations or desires for the next several days or months. I think whatever you do, you should get away from the house...you may not get out as often as you think...so enjoy!!

[TBH]

Go to a nice restaurant and to a movie. That's relaxing, and you definitely can't go to a movie theater with two infants.

Our social life didn't change that much at first. We could even go to parties and the baby would just sleep through all the noise. It's when they're older and can't sleep anywhere any more that you start having to stick to the house at bedtime/naptime etc.

Good luck! I'm so excited for you. I hope DS2 is close behind his brother and that all four of you will be home together soon.