Relationship Question

[tripods68]

I have story to tell.

We'd known someone that married a lot older guy and he died last year. She is now collecting his survivor benefits (social security) and her daughter receiving survivors aswell (9 years old). We still wonder today if she married him for the right reason or just for his money.

[vsjhoc]

Originally Posted by tripods68

I have story to tell.

We'd known someone that married a lot older guy and he died last year. She is now collecting his survivor benefits (social security) and her daughter receiving survivors aswell (9 years old). We still wonder today if she married him for the right reason or just for his money.

My ex-husband was 22 years older. Many people thought I was a gold digger. As it turned out, he had no money and squandered most of mine.

[jIM_Ohio]

If I married for the money, I am still waiting to find it.

[aevans1206]

It's fine to be a worried friend, but as a 28 year old woman with a 50 year old husband (and we've been together for 8 years), I would not advise delving too deeply into advice for your friend. She needs to make those decisions on her own. I have a four year old with my husband and he is a very involved parent. Life is hard, period. What matters is that we spend our lives with someone we love.

I would give her advice if she requests it. Other than that, I'd stay out. It's hard to do that as a concerned friend, but it's the best thing to do.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I usually give her financial advice, and keep clear of romance. Hence why I suggested contract when buying the house with her ex. I liked him a lot by the way, nothing personal, just figured she should protect herself well in case.

This time too, I'm sure the guy is great. I haven't meet him enough to judge, but I worry financially she'll get into a horrible bind or something. Last time she got lucky and dumped the guy before they bought a house together.

This time she's really moving a lot faster and I wonder if financial repercussions could quickly follow.

Finances or protecting them are a lot easier to mention than "gee that guy is kinds of old".

[moneybags]

I believe that if a person is on social security and has minor children, they are also eligible to collect a check.

[MonkeyMama]

I have a friend who married someone 20 years her senior and now has 4 young kids. I have always found it very sad that he is about 60 and just having these kids. What are the odds he'll live to see them to adulthood??? On the flip side, when you love someone, love knows no age.

In their particular case his business is floundering and she is young and has a good career ahead of her. He'll probably retire and watch the kids while she works, etc. I think for them it will work out okay financially. Though that is probably a situation where long-term care insurance is key. Don't want to be worried about nursing home expenses for your spouse when your kids hit college, etc. I had honestly never really thought about the financial ramifications before. Unique, for sure.

[tabbycat31]

my mom always taught me the "rule of 7" when deciding on a mate (still single). You can go 4 years older, 3 years younger than you.

She has a friend that just lost her husband of 30 years. She's in her late 50s, and he passed away in December at 82. After the death, she is still feuding with children from his previous marriage (in her age range), and they have a son about my age.

I don't know the financial details, but women also live longer than men do, so she may be a widow 20 years earlier.