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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2008, 10:29 AM
montyloree montyloree is offline
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It's doable...

The only question... how much savings do you have in place should something go wrong.

You have to take into account all of the expenses that go into a home.

Sounds like you're starting off as a couple.
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Old 05-17-2008, 06:41 PM
LivingAlmostLarge LivingAlmostLarge is offline
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So debbie what are you doing for retirement? My MIL ALL the time says my FIL is on his own. She has a lot saved for retirement and no plans on supporting him. My FIL I'm not sure what he has saved.

That is a marriage where the money is completely separate.
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  #43 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2008, 07:44 PM
DebbieL DebbieL is offline
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I have said we keep our finances separate - not that we don't communicate. I think a lot of people are under the impression that I have no idea if he is saving for retirement or not. Actually DH and I both communicate (almost obsessively) about these things. We are both very financially minded people. I am studying to be an accountant right now. I know exactly how much we both are putting aside. We talk about everything. We don't keep things hidden from each other at all.

We try to keep things pretty fair, so that is why we don't split everything down the middle. I pay the rent and electricity and he buys the food and pays the phone, cable and internet. He recently got a much better paying job, so sometime soon we'll probably sit down and decide how to divide things up now that the finances have changed. We are best friends and lovers here - not adversaries. We both try to be fair and help out each other.

As for the TV purchase, we had already talked about it before DH bought it (I had recently bought one for my daughter's room and we talked about how nice it would be for our room). He just bought it is all - he knew I liked it. There was never any question of me not liking it. Actually, I didn't even have a TV in my bedroom when we met, so the old TV was his anyways. If he wants to replace it with a nicer one I'm all for it.

For the car thing, I use DH's vehicle whenever I want to, and when I had a car he did the same. I don't care what he drives, but we are both quite practical people and his choice is not out of line with what I would want.

We do help each other, and we don't obsess over who paid what for what, etc. We just BOTH like our independence. In every way, shape and form though we are a couple. We get along so well it's almost unbelievable to me (because I've never had a relationship that I could feel so comfortable in).

What it comes down to is we are ridiculously happy and we communicate better than probably most other couples do. If combining everything makes you happy, then that's cool too - it just isn't for us!

For Maat55 - sorry if I got a bit cranky with you yesterday. No harm
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  #44 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2008, 07:49 PM
DebbieL DebbieL is offline
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Livingalmostlarge,

I do know his financial picture, not just mine. DH talks obsessively about these things - we have no secrets, lol...but, in the situation you described - my DH could sit home and watch TV while I took trips if he pissed through all his money and never saved for retirement, lol.

In seriousness, I married someone who is a saver (as am I). I knew his approach to saving for the future before we got hitched. Short of him going crazy and spending like a maniac, I think he'll be well set.
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  #45 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2008, 09:50 PM
Joan.of.the.Arch Joan.of.the.Arch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge View Post
So debbie what are you doing for retirement? My MIL ALL the time says my FIL is on his own. She has a lot saved for retirement and no plans on supporting him. My FIL I'm not sure what he has saved.

That is a marriage where the money is completely separate.
Wow. I cannot imagine a loving couple not wanting as well for one as for the other--through all stages of life together.
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