Am I the only one?

[cicy33]

I am sure that I am just seeing the ones that are set financially, but I have been coming to this site awhile now and I post here and there. I won't say I post as much as some but I post more than others. However, I feel sort of like the poor cousin. We do not have anywhere nears the EF most people on this board seem to have, nor do we have the available cash some seem to have. Is it just me or are there many, many more on here that are getting by but not getting ahead as quickly as I would like. We are not rich by any means and by that I mean we together average about $50k a year, our house is not paid for, we have a couple of small loans and the average regular bills are a killer sometimes! I am aware I could cut a couple of areas to have more cash but then I would be totally miserable!

[jIM_Ohio]

Getting ahead quickly is relative. I have 160k invested and a 3 month emergency fund, and I feel like I am behind myself (not getting ahead as quickly).

If you are debt free, you are not falling behind, and not falling behind is the first step to getting ahead.

There are 6 stages to financial independance

1) starting off
2) accumulation
3) growth
4) stability
5) withdraw start (financial independance)
6) draw down

Until a person gets to growth, I think the psychological battle is up hill.

When accumulating, your deposits are worth as much or more than the account values. Maybe deposits are 10% of the account value. The deposits seem like a lot of money.

In growth, the same deposits, or even larger deposits, seem small because the account value is so large, and even a modest 4% return on the account is more than one could ever hope to put into account in a given year.

It takes money to make money. Small deposits now make up a HUGE chunk of your money later (based on time value of compounding). Keep doing little things to get ahead. They will add up sooner or later.

I even work a second job to get further ahead.

[Caoineag]

My household does make more than yours (but we made the same as you 2 years ago) but we still have a lot of debt to wipe out and a house to still buy. Part of the reason that we have as much money as we do to throw at the debt is because we live pretty simply ( I am betting you own at least one car, we don't have one at all). We are definitely not yet set financially especially since I am a spender (I put all forms of savings on autopilot so I can't touch them).

I think there are alot of people here, especially in the blogs that struggle (if you are only reading the forums, that is probably why you only see the financially fit, those of us who struggle blog for motivation )

[sweeps]

I think many of us are struggling. My big money drains are my house and my kids.

I bought a big house so the mortgage, property taxes, utilities and upkeep cost me a lot of money. And between food, clothes, formula, diapers, preschool, doctor visits and birthday parties, the kids are a big budget breaker as well. I put 15% of my salary in my 401k, so that doesn't leave much at all for luxuries.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I think the member blogs reveal more of the struggle to "get there."

[Ima saver]

I think it depends on your age. I struggled for many, many years. It was not til I hit my 40's and discovered mutual funds that I began to save a lot. Also, the housing boom really helped us out the past 5 years. we were able to sell our last spec house at a decent profit and just let the cash sit in the bank for the past year.(I also agree that having kids makes it very hard to save)

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

I think it depends on your age.

I was going to say the same thing. I think, in general, the older members are more set than the younger members. I'm 43 and certainly in way better shape financially than I was 10 or 20 years ago. In 1994, I was one year out of school, had $102,000 in student loans and had just bought a house with a $128,000 mortgage. We also still had a car loan. Now, the student loans are gone, the mortgage is down to about $109,000 (we took a HEL along the way) and the cars are paid for. When we got married in 1992, we had about $6,000 to our names, had milk crates for book shelves and hand-me-down furniture. Now, we have a $400,000 portfolio plus nearly $200,000 in home equity, a nicely (but inexpensively) furnished home and are able to enjoy some of the better things in life.

It takes time to get there. Keep plugging along and have patience and read all the great advice here from folks who have been there/done that.

[PrincessPerky]

No you are not the only one, my EF is pathetic, I have no real investment (ok a pathetic 401K) and I do not own the house or the car yet.

But over the last few years on SA I have made many changes (and got a few raises) so life is improving...I no longer feel like each day is a major struggle..just that it isn't where it aught to be.

Now ask me again in two months after the baby is born and I may be still fine, or I may be in medical debt to my ears....

[FrugalFish]

I also feel like a bit of an underdog when I come here. We are of a modest income and while we get by, sometimes it is a struggle. We are in our mid 30's, and while we have a positive net worth, I don't think we are where we should be.

[brig2221]

Originally Posted by cicy33

I am sure that I am just seeing the ones that are set financially, but I have been coming to this site awhile now and I post here and there. I won't say I post as much as some but I post more than others. However, I feel sort of like the poor cousin. We do not have anywhere nears the EF most people on this board seem to have, nor do we have the available cash some seem to have. Is it just me or are there many, many more on here that are getting by but not getting ahead as quickly as I would like. We are not rich by any means and by that I mean we together average about $50k a year, our house is not paid for, we have a couple of small loans and the average regular bills are a killer sometimes! I am aware I could cut a couple of areas to have more cash but then I would be totally miserable!

My guess is that you are seeing folks here who are lucky enough to have the financial means with which to create those large emergency funds.

I consider my wife and I to be frugal, only when compared to those around me. I sometimes pat myself on the back too much I think when I look at what we have been able to save an invest. Well, if you have a household income of six figures or more a year, you better be saving some money, lol.

Conversely, if you have just a single houselhold income, not two, at $50K per year, we are talking about a completely different ballgame.

I would imagine that you are probably doing a much better job of being frugal than my wife and I are, and do a much better job of stretching your money in order to still be able to save.

In summary, I don't think it is fair to try and compare your EF funds or investment funds of other posters without knowing the factors such as incomes, expenses, inheritences, etc. You truly aren't comparing apples to apples.

[stressedmama]

You are not alone cicy33. While we have a pretty good EF going (6 months of expenses), I still think we should be further ahead on paying down the mortgage and contributing more to our 401Ks and 529s. However, I've been married almost 8 years and now have 2 kids and I look retrospectivatly at what we've done and it seems impressive. We paid off the CC debt and our student loans (all total about $40K). We are in a much better position now then 8 years ago, and hopefully will be much better shape in another 8 years.

In order to accomplish this we rented for awhile, then bought a little house in the Midwest (cheap COL area). My husband and I both have went back to school (paid for by our employeers) so our free time is spent in class, studying, and doing homework. Between school, normal household chores, and now kids there isn't much time for us to go out and leisurely shop or blow money which helps us tremendously.

However, trying to balance saving, paying off debt, and having fun along the way is still a struggle for us too.

Slow and steady wins the race.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Thankfully some of the older people are making feel better. Honestly in your 20s it's hard to have any money period. It's a constant struggle to save and build any sort of nest egg. I feel constantly behind the curve, but other than chugging along what can we do?

I mean it's hard to realize you have to save, pay off debt (mortgage, student loans, etc) and still have other responsibilities.

[simpleyme]

nevermind;-)

[HNorton]

Like my grandmother says, "It takes time to do good." Just keep doing the right things and you will get there.

[Ima saver]

It really does take time. I can remember when I did not have enough money to stock pile groceries. I use to take pen and paper to the grocery store and add up my groceries when I picked them up. When I got to my grocery limit, I quit.
We never made very much money until the past few years. I think what helped us it that I made a very big effort to pay off my mortgage at a very early age. Since then, I have never had a mortgage. (age 32)
Also, when I fund something in my budget and I pay it off (car, land, etc.), I keep funding it and I save that extra money.

[cicy33]

Well, I feel a little better! I am 40 by the way and an thrilled grandma of a beautiful 8 month old granddaughter! I don't have any investments other than 401K and currently I do about 4%. That is just all I can do for now. It is a two income family. And actually compared to some of my friends we make pretty good money. We live in a fairly economically depressed area. I am trying very hard to get ahead and will try to read some of the blogs more. But is nice to hear from the ones that are struggling! sometimes it is nice to hear from them.

[Snave]

Originally Posted by cicy33

Well, I feel a little better! I am 40 by the way and an thrilled grandma of a beautiful 8 month old granddaughter! I don't have any investments other than 401K and currently I do about 4%. That is just all I can do for now. It is a two income family. And actually compared to some of my friends we make pretty good money. We live in a fairly economically depressed area. I am trying very hard to get ahead and will try to read some of the blogs more. But is nice to hear from the ones that are struggling! sometimes it is nice to hear from them.

Good for you and for anyone that is on here trying to save money and help their financial sitiuation. Most people aren't even trying that are out there. I feel very fortunate that we do have our finances in order. I started out with no student loans out of college, so that helped. For some reason I maxed out my 401k at 22 years old and never looked back. I think that is why I have gotten ahead. Certainly it is never too late to start, but for anyone just entering the workforce, please max it out. You will never know it was there. Heck, I was broke one day and the next I was making a salary minus 15% for my 401k. I never felt it b/c didn't see it from day one.

[LuxLiving]

cicy33, we too struggled for a long time and at times it can still be difficult w/just a single steady income earner in our home. A couple of things that've helped build momentum is making a spending plan w/savings taken right off the top right after the tithe. Then pay bills, then any extra is the fun money. Of course that is just priorities.

Secondly, one place I'd advise younger people to cover with EXTREME caution, is to really limit the car purchases to what you can truly afford. Which may not be what you'd actually like to be driving. We upgraded way too often. Yes my Hubster is a good trader, but too many of those tags and excise taxes, etc., really took a bite out of our income. He also liked to upgrade on the computer systems. Any of those things I'd advise to wait as long as possible to make them - stretching out the time you use them before you upgrade and/or saving after the purchase to do the replacement. Then if cars must be financed doing the shortest possible time-line and then putting a big emphasis on getting it paid off early. Any credit you are carrying is literally a weight that you need to stop giving a free ride as it can really pull you down.

Thirdly anticipating expenses and putting them into the spending plan/budget and funding them BEFORE the proverbial hitting of the fan can be the turning point for you.

Keep hanging tough and you'll get to the top of that mountain! One step at a time w/FOCUSED determination will do it.

edited to add:

"From eureka to achievement, the evolution of a goal begins in the mind
and immediately takes shape when pen is put to paper. The goal progresses
from thought to sketch, from sketch to action, and finally from action to
achievement in real time. The achievement of a goal is an exemplary tale of
power, purpose, and potential." ~~???

[Broken Arrow]

I do the best I can, I'm making progress, but many challenges still remain, just to stay above water....

It's a good fight to be in.

[maat55]

Originally Posted by cicy33

I am sure that I am just seeing the ones that are set financially, but I have been coming to this site awhile now and I post here and there. I won't say I post as much as some but I post more than others. However, I feel sort of like the poor cousin. We do not have anywhere nears the EF most people on this board seem to have, nor do we have the available cash some seem to have. Is it just me or are there many, many more on here that are getting by but not getting ahead as quickly as I would like. We are not rich by any means and by that I mean we together average about $50k a year, our house is not paid for, we have a couple of small loans and the average regular bills are a killer sometimes! I am aware I could cut a couple of areas to have more cash but then I would be totally miserable!

I think your mentallity towards sacrifice is your downfall. I like you, are not set, but it's the only thing that I am striving for at this time. I am recently debtfree and have saved a 10,000 EF and am starting to invest 9700 a year. This all has taken sacrifice, but I don't feel like I have missed anything.

My mentallity, while living paycheck to paycheck, was to pay the bills and play golf alot. Now, my priorities are to be debtfree, have an 10,000 EF, invest 9700 a year, then play with the rest. I have achieved these goals rather quickly, because I am focused on it.

You begin to thrive on the accomplishments and the sacrifice seems smaller with time.

I suggest you make a plan to achieve the goals you want to achieve, then do it. It won't hurt nearly as bad as you think. Financial peace is worth it. Good luck.