Am I the only one?

[Scanner]

I agree with JimOhio that it's so relative.

I am a doctor, as is DS, and we both feel probably an "akin" psychology on this issue. He's remarked how he shops at flea markets. Part of this I'm sure is just hobby. . .but part of it is probably out of a little necessity. I am 39, have about $85,000 in our Roth's, only $2500 in DW's 403(b), and she's 10 years vested in a pension. WE have good health care and thank God for that. She provides that as an employee as I am self-employed.

We also have 240K in equity in a 360K home.

But compared to my "forefathers", we live like middle/middle class. People in my profession used to have mansions and Mercedes by the time they were 39. . .until abuses of the ins. system the docs did were brought to a grinding halt.

Now, our generation pays for it.

So. . .sometimes "success" is just an illusion. My forefathers weren't really successful. . .(a lot of them, that is), they were just in an incredibly easy system - a "cash cow" or "cottage industry" as they put it.

Yet. . .if you tell them what you make, and it isn't that much per year, they look at you as if, "Well, what's wrong with you? I made $750,000/year. . .you must be a bad doctor."

So. . .that's the stigma. We call the docs from this era "Mercedez 80's Docs."

Sad fact is that many patients are still thinking that docs are in the Mercedez 80's.

So. . .we all have our Jonzez we try to keep up with and it's potent on our thinking but don't feel bad about your situation. Chances are you aren't as bad off as you think anyway.

Just remember what you stand for.

[Maddy]

You are not alone - AT ALL!!

I went to college and started a good starting Salary >$40,000, but I am still broke and just making ends meet. I even work a part-time bartending job.
College Killed me

[ScrimpAndSave]

No I feel like this is a very long, difficult struggle as well...

[cicy33]

I don't feel that my unwillingness to needlessly suffer is my downfall. I don't have to turn off the cable and internet to pay my bills but I could and it would pay off stuff a little faster. However, not going to do it cuz that is my entertainment. I don't go to the movies, I hate shopping (except for groceries), I hardly ever buy new clothes. I mean like once every two or three years. So, we have the net and cable. I think the difference is that I am willing to do it a little slower than some people. Not that turning off mediacom is going to be the trick to paying everything off. Our other bills are pretty much requirement with the exception of the loans and those I am working on. Our mortgage isn't bad, but these da*& taxes are getting bad. Our property taxes are $1600 now. That is more than $100 per month! I don't live in a mansion! Our average pay rate here is minimum wage. and my gas cost is doubled in the past months.

[maat55]

Originally Posted by cicy33

I don't feel that my unwillingness to needlessly suffer is my downfall. I don't have to turn off the cable and internet to pay my bills but I could and it would pay off stuff a little faster. However, not going to do it cuz that is my entertainment. I don't go to the movies, I hate shopping (except for groceries), I hardly ever buy new clothes. I mean like once every two or three years. So, we have the net and cable. I think the difference is that I am willing to do it a little slower than some people. Not that turning off mediacom is going to be the trick to paying everything off. Our other bills are pretty much requirement with the exception of the loans and those I am working on. Our mortgage isn't bad, but these da*& taxes are getting bad. Our property taxes are $1600 now. That is more than $100 per month! I don't live in a mansion! Our average pay rate here is minimum wage. and my gas cost is doubled in the past months.

Just because you are not blowing money, doesn't mean you are in the right position to prosper. I can afford more house, but I would sacrifice prosperity. I could prosper faster in a smaller home, but my wife like you, chooses to live for today, rather than to prosper faster.

We all want ot live comfortable lives and prosper, but sometimes you have to sacrifice much, to gain much more. When you get to the point that getting by isn't enough, you will choose to sacrifice, to really get a head and love it. The true blessing comes when both partners are dedicated to the process.

The most important test as to whether you will prosper is: Can you afford to invest at least 10% of your income no matter what. If not, you need to downsize your living expenses to make it happen. Being frugal with the other 90% is a bonus.

[cicy33]

This post wasn't really about me sacrificing to become rich super fast. This was just about wondering if we were the only ones that were struggling or at least not as financially set as some we read about on here. I am more than well aware of what it would take to prosper as you put it. I also don't think I am living for today. I have a 401k, I put money every month into a savings account. I shop frugally. I just don't want to be completely miserable. Of course you should think and realize that not everyone (possibly your wife included) has the desire to "prosper" in the way you do. I personally just want to be able to pay my bills, put a little money away and still be able to buy myself something if I want to. I really don't aspire to be wealthy. Sure it would be great but I am not focusing on that. I am sure that it brings its own set of problems. I just want to be comfortable.

[crazyliblady]

No, you are not the only one. My husband and I have barely anything in savings, have 2 hospital bills, and 1 credit card bill. One of the hospital bills and the credit card bill could have been mostly avoided if my hubby would have let me put him on my insurance. When he had a major health crisis 2 years ago, I had to drive him 3 hours to the nearest veteran's hospital for care. It took about 7 different trips there to get everything worked out. Because he had the year before convinced me to sell our perfectly good working Honda for a 1968 Mustang, we could not make the trip in our own car. Our Mustang was in a constant state of being worked on and got lousy gas mileage. So, you could say we have had some challenges and he does acknowledge what a mistake it was to sell our Honda. I have started taking greater responsibility for the finances. For example, I did start my retirement about 2 years ago through my work and a have a decent amount in it for it only being 2 years. I also recently opened up an online savings account that earns a higher rate than any local bank. Another reason I did this was to accumulate the $1000 that Dave Ramsey recommends prior to seriously tackling debt. I was having a lot of trouble doing this in my local bank because little "emergencies" that aren't really emergencies pop up and I have to transfer funds. I have a feeling if we keep plugging away at our debt, it will be paid off and we will have financial freedom after all. Don't feel alone here. There are plenty of people to support you and we have been through the same types of things. I will put you on my favorites list so I can read your blog.

[Big Kenny]

Persistence. Patience. Passion. I've read this thread and thought, "Well...I've been down this road." I just wanted to offer my support for all of you. Obviously, you're well ahead because you're THINKING and TRYING. You have to take the first step to complete any journey. My wife and I married 15 years ago (we're now in our late 40's) and had virtually no savings, some CC debt and modest incomes then. We each owned smallish homes and had very little savings in either tax sheltered or taxable accounts. When married we consolidated our finances, sold her home, fought our way out of CC debt and began to build - slowly - our EF.

Now, what seems like "fast-forward" to 15 years later. We have paid off our home (bought for $135,000 in 1992), almost quadrupled our incomes through a couple key job changes and pay increases; maxed out our 401K savings (EACH OF US) and paid for any home improvement or automobile when we have the cash...and we keep our cars for at least 6 years. We just keep reminding ourselves that we're the "little engine that could"...we think we can, we think we can...then we use discipline and delayed gratification to attain our goals.

This is much like a weight loss program. Keep your eye on the prize and know that there WILL be set backs along the way...but you can and will achieve your goals. Write them down...measure your progress...and chart your success. Good luck to all who have hunkered down and have shown the resolve to achieve their dreams. The effort is worth it and the payoff is incredible.

[Saving in So Cal]

My husband and I are little bit further along the path than you are, but there are plenty of days when we fill like we're just treading water. In fact, it is not unusual for us to go long periods without making any significant progress toward our financial objectives and then something will happen that moves us along more quickly. Then, we slow down again, etc.

[maat55]

Originally Posted by cicy33

This post wasn't really about me sacrificing to become rich super fast. This was just about wondering if we were the only ones that were struggling or at least not as financially set as some we read about on here. I am more than well aware of what it would take to prosper as you put it. I also don't think I am living for today. I have a 401k, I put money every month into a savings account. I shop frugally. I just don't want to be completely miserable. Of course you should think and realize that not everyone (possibly your wife included) has the desire to "prosper" in the way you do. I personally just want to be able to pay my bills, put a little money away and still be able to buy myself something if I want to. I really don't aspire to be wealthy. Sure it would be great but I am not focusing on that. I am sure that it brings its own set of problems. I just want to be comfortable.

I'm not here to bash you, but to egg you on. When I say sacrifice, to me it means trade. Example: I traded my golf membership for financial peace and so on. I enjoy reading books to learn and not spending money to save. I've spent only 7.00 dollars the last two weeks on books and have enjoyed many hours of reading.

Living the lifestyle my wife is comfortable with has left us very far behind on saving for the future. She is the typical, not on board spouse. I've found that blowing money at resteraunts and on petty stuff is not as satisfying as being debtfree with money in the bank.

I'm giving you advice that I have experienced. If you are tired of getting by, do something about it, I did and it doesn't hurt like you might think. But I can't speak for my wife.

[Heart-Of-God]

I would suggest that when you start a savings account to go with one of the online high yield money market or savings account. Just type that in the search bar and you should be able to pull up a lot of information. Capital One, HSBC, and ING are just a few. Hope this helps.

[LuxLiving]

cicy33 & maat55, I think this article is relevant:

http://www.cbn.com/finance/hunt_nodeprivation.aspx

[maat55]

Originally Posted by LuxLiving

cicy33 & maat55, I think this article is relevant:

http://www.cbn.com/finance/hunt_nodeprivation.aspx

Great article Lux, the sacrifice for me was very painless because the goal is so worthy and desired. The article spells it out well.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I feel just a bit uneasy suggesting to cicy33 that she needs to change her attitude to one of sacrifice rather than one of deprivation. It is possible she needs to do that, but I don't think there is anything she has said that makes it sound like she is not already sacrificing. The one thing she mentioned as a luxury which gives her plenty of entertainment pleasure is her cable and internet. Maat, you say you spent only $7 in two weeks for books. Well, maybe that is all cicy33 has spent on her cable-internet. I don't know, I don't know what cable goes for in southern Illinois, but I certainly have seen references in this forum for $11 a month cable, which would amount to less than $7 every two weeks for books.

Congrats on the new grandchild, cicy33! You must have been a young Mom, yourself. I hope, you'll be able to help ease the way for this next generation of your family. I hope you will read the blogs. And if you yourself will choose to blog, it could help yourself and others. Sometimes we get ideas from others. Sometimes it just keeps us energized to be a part of the savings trend. Are we an online support group? Maybe so.

[Ima saver]

When i first moved to the mountains, the only job I could get was waitress and the locals never heard of actually tipping. I would work all day long and a great day was making $20 in tips. (Tops on sundays was $12)
But, I still went home every night and put away 10% of my tips in a wooden box. Once a month, I sent that money off to a mutual fund.
It has taken me over 20 years, but once I got serious, I have built up a pretty nice nest egg in mutual funds and savings. Slow and steady wins the race!!

[cicy33]

Thank you Joan for seeming to understand me a little! I was a young mom. 17 to be exact! I do not regret it for a moment. I read the article and I don't see where it applies to me. I have never had the problem of trying to spend money that I did not have to pay for it. We are not in a desperate situation. We can pay our bills and I save some money every month. I can pay for birthdays, and xmas and whatever else I need and we do it all without credit cards. We aren't flat broke I just felt sometimes when I read the posts that the majority of the people here were more financially set than we are right now and I just wondered if there were more members out there that are in my current situation. I do feel we spend way to much on internet and cable. but there is not much alternative here. Unless I want to go back to a phone line which at the cheapest is about $40 a month to be able to use unlimited calls and then of course you have the dial up charge and I could go on and on. But yes, our internet and cable is, in my opinion high. It is $138 per month. This pays for my internet, which between my second job and my sanity will not let go, digital cable, two boxes, a small sport package (3.95 mnth) for my dh, the insurance on the wires, starz and show time which we don't watch but amazingly it is not cheaper to just drop the digital. Then the internet is no longer a combo package. and we pay higher for them individually. I have actually looked into this. It is my one point of contention in our expenses! However, I have a sports freak for a husband and he would go bonkers without his sports. And as said before, we don't go to the movies, bowling, partying, we don't really do much actually, pretty much at home. It is not that I could not cut ourselves to the bone and quote unquote get ahead faster. and I do cut most other expenses pretty tight. Groceries run me less than 200 per month. that includes shampoo and cleaners and stuff like that. and I feed four kids every weekend. We keep the heat as low as possible, turn off lights etc. I don't have a car payment, both vehicles are paid in full. I do have two loans that I am working to get paid off. I rarely shop at walmart for non essentials. I hate buying clothes. However, I am already 40 and am not at a point in my life where I want to sit in the dark and watch 3 lousy channels on tv. So I have one area that I do pay a little more for. I have a current goal of paying off all our debt completely before I turn 50. that is a little over 9 years and that would be nice. I would say honestly we neither one are desperate to become rich. I just want to be comfortable with a little money in the bank.

[maat55]

Originally Posted by Joan.of.the.Arch

I feel just a bit uneasy suggesting to cicy33 that she needs to change her attitude to one of sacrifice rather than one of deprivation. It is possible she needs to do that, but I don't think there is anything she has said that makes it sound like she is not already sacrificing. The one thing she mentioned as a luxury which gives her plenty of entertainment pleasure is her cable and internet. Maat, you say you spent only $7 in two weeks for books. Well, maybe that is all cicy33 has spent on her cable-internet. I don't know, I don't know what cable goes for in southern Illinois, but I certainly have seen references in this forum for $11 a month cable, which would amount to less than $7 every two weeks for books.

Congrats on the new grandchild, cicy33! You must have been a young Mom, yourself. I hope, you'll be able to help ease the way for this next generation of your family. I hope you will read the blogs. And if you yourself will choose to blog, it could help yourself and others. Sometimes we get ideas from others. Sometimes it just keeps us energized to be a part of the savings trend. Are we an online support group? Maybe so.

Without knowing what cicy33's expenses are, I do know that she could rearrange her lifestyle to where she could live off 40,000 a year and save an EF fund then invest afterwards. It may mean moving into a smaller home, less car debt or car equity, less blow money etc.

To build an EF and build wealth, means she either has to earn more money or spend less money or both. She will do whatever she wants, I'm telling her that if she wants it bad enough, she can do it and with less, in her words, miserable.

[cicy33]

Well, we already live off about $40,000 per year max. I can't imagine what you must make to make a statement like that! We are not rich people. We are middle to lower class financially wise. I don't have a "lifestyle". I yardsale, coupon and try to cut costs where I can. I frequent the goodwill store, they have great deals on jeans for my dh. I make about 25,000 gross, my husband grosses about 52,000 which we lose almost half that just in supplies and subcontractors, so his net or what we actually get is around 25,000 or so. My net is about $20,000.00 We are buying our house it is a 3 bedroom that we just recently added a fourth bedroom, bath and office to. We have done the work ourselves so it is slow going but much cheaper. With four kids every weekend there is no way to move into something smaller. The three bedrooms was fine but I wanted the fourth for comfort. Well worth the cost. we paid for most of the addition when my grandmother died and left us some money. We are paying 5.5% interest on the house and our payment just dropped from 400.00 per month to $327.00 per month. We are going to continue to pay the $400 though cuz we are already used to it. We only owe about $37,000 on the house less interest. Way silly to move. We don't have car debt. NONE. both vehicles are paid for. We have a huge expense that is not going to go away for several more years. Child support. He pays $500 per month for his kids. and that is fine. But it sure makes it harder to get ahead right now. The youngest is 10, the oldest is 13 (almost). so around 8 more years total. Our bills are probably like most. I didn't list my bills or debt for a reason. I wasn't asking for assistance in paying off quicker or building an ef fund. I was only interested in there were more people in my financial area on this board. I utilize the debt snowball calculators on the net and am working on goals to pay off all our debt within 5 - 10 years, the house included. Keep in mind that I know that to some people we probably have awesome costs on a house but we live in a very bad economy area. and the cost of gas and everything else is just going up and up. We are probably considered well off to our friends. to me that is laughable!

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Cicy33, I know that much of southern Illinois is relatively poor, yet you still have the same state taxes as a suburban Chicagoan has. People may have to drive quite a aways to get to a work place. Even agriculture , forestry , and mining are iffy in southern Illinois. My gosh, anyone who wants some understanding of an "urban" portion of your state should Google Cairo, IL. And all I have to do is drive across the river that separates your state from mine and I see the gasoline prices go up by 20 cents per gallon or more....To tell the truth, though, when you give us a sample of your budget, the thing that occurs to me is that it might be smarter to put that extra money not into paying off the mortgage, but into your emergency fund and retirement savings. (My own mortgage would be easy as pie to pay off and it is only $298 a month, but I don't put my money there.)

Cairo Illinois

[michele1955a]

yes, I am in a similar boat to you. I am on disability with a net income of roughly 1100.00/month. Luckily, I live with my father and only pay the cable and internet bills in exchange for room and board. My truck is paid for. I am bipolar and during a recent illness gambled and lost and went into debt to the tune of one years debt repayment. After that time, I can begin to dig out again.
Looking around me tonight, I see my net worth in money of 24.00 which will go to Walmart tomorrow to pay toward my cc bill so that I may be able to buy some more medicene.
I have a lifelong interest in money management and when i worked as a nurse i did well for myself. However, i became disabled and my life went topsy tervy. Compared to me you are wealthy.
I am not complaining. I caused my most recent downfall and only hope I can get my act together before my 83 yo father passes away when the going really gets tough.
The computer is my entertainment, i don't buy clothes because i have a whole closet full, i buy and sell gold and silver on ebay. Where there is a will there is a way to success and although a year seems to be a long time to me today, I know ten years is even longer. When I am well, I can save money like nobodys business simply by doing without the quirks.
When you start comparing yourself to others there will be some that have more than you because they have been working at there programs longer and then there will be those that have less than you because of other reasons. But trust me, you are not alone.