You Only Do, Buy, Turn (fill in the blank) Once!

[cschin4]

I hear this alot as a justification to spend, spend, spend. People will say, "well, you are only going to do this once so do it up right". Or, you are only getting married once. Or, your kid is only a year old, two years old, three years old "once" and on and on it goes! Or, you are only going to remodel your kitchen once. In reality aren't there many things in life that happen only "once"?

[rob62521]

Let's see...

We're only going to Vegas once, so we better see Siegfried and Roy even if the tickets are $73 each.
(True story...we did see them years before his accident.) I hated spending the money, but glad we did see them.

[scfr]

Birth & Death ... Those are the only ones I can think of that are guaranteed to happen only once.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Sounds like that old beer commercial, "Ya only go around once in life, so grab all the gusto you can get."

Instead perhaps we should sometimes say, "You only experience a moment like this once in your life, so quietly look for the sacred in the tremendous unlikelihood that all these many factors should have converged to make this moment happen. Savor it, wonder at how it connects you to the rest of humanity which has had first birthdays (or first homes, or whatever), and resist temptation to make it into a matter for going to either WalMart, Neiman Marcus or Rent-a-Bozo."

Life is not about the trapping of the party; it is about the reasons for the party.

If everything is made out to be so blasted special, how can anything really seem so special?

(Ok--enough platitudinous talk)

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by scfr

Birth & Death ... Those are the only ones I can think of that are guaranteed to happen only once.

Actually, there are plenty of things that will only happen once, but that alone doesn't make them all special and worth of a big celebration or excessive spending. Yes, my daughter only had one 1st birthday, and yes, we did have a party, but it was just inviting family over and having a buffet lunch (all homemade). Nothing outrageous. On the other hand, friends of ours had a neighbor who, for their child's 1st birthday, threw a huge party including pony rides, a moon bounce, music, barbecue and other entertainment. Obviously, the kid doesn't remember a moment of it.

As I've posted/blogged recently, we're in the process of planning our daughter's Bat Mitzvah. That is a once-in-a-lifetime event. She's our only child and she only gets one Bat Mitzvah. We are planning a very nice celebration and are spending quite a bit to do so. But we can afford it. We've saved for it for many years. And we expect it will be something that she and we will remember always.

I think there is some logic to this mindset, especially when it comes to something like a home remodeling job. You don't want to take the cheap way out and be stuck living with it for the next 20 or 30 years. It makes more sense to do it right, spend a little more for good quality and features that you really want, and be happy with the outcome. We would love to redo our kitchen but aren't financially ready to do it the way we really want to, so we are making do with what we have. We don't want to have to do it twice. When we do it, we want to get it right.

[Snave]

I guarantee I have used this rationale before. And yes, it is to "justify" a purchase or two or three that I have made. While my rationale is similar to others, I also am in a financial situation where I can afford these purchases because I have saved a significant portion of my income. One of the reasons to have money is to be able to enjoy it. As long as your are taking care of your other financial obligations, then you should enjoy the rest. We currently save around 33% of our income and have been saving this way since my my first job out of college. So, do I try to squeeze out another 1-2% or do I spend it? As a saver, sometimes I would rather save it. When I use the "this is only going to happen once" type of mentatlity, it is similar to others trying to justify their purchase, but my purchases certainly don't impede my financial success.

[scfr]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

Actually, there are plenty of things that will only happen once,.

Well, I hate to be terribly morbid, but you're a doctor so you understand mortality ... my point was that we are all born and die, and those are the only guaranteed firsts. Everything else (first birthdays and all that come after, Bat Mitzvahs, etc) is a bonus.

[Gruntina]

I save my money for those once in a lifetime opportunites. Otherwise I would not have motivation to save other than to avoid eating dog food when I retire. If the latter was the only motivtion, life would be boring.

[LuxLiving]

Hopefully I only have to have my tonsils out once in this lifetime! If not, I'm gonna be suing somebody - Flueorozonomidezine manfucturing company for putting that gunky 'causes three heads to grow' stuff in the water or some doc for not doing it right the first time!

cschin4, I got that same kind of thinking when we were buying our last vehicle FROM MY PARENTS! OMG!! 'Might as well' put it on credit, buy more car, etc., etc., etc. because you only live once AND everyone else is doing it. No thanks!!

[skydivingchic]

I have to agree with Steve and Snave. I've most certainly used this reasoning before, most recently when DBF and I went to Antarctica. Our trip was 4 weeks long and pretty pricey. It was, however worth every penny we spent on it. We chose that particular trip and tour operator because we knew we would "only do it once and were going to do it right." The difference is that the trip was saved for and paid for before we ever set foot on the ship. And it was saved for without sacrificing retirement savings or necessities.

We would like to redo our kitchen, but haven't yet because we don't have the money saved to do it right. I'm not interested in going through the stress and mess of a major remodel to end up with something that we cheaped out on. So we'll save money and wait to do the remodel until we have the money to do it once and do it right.

I don't buy this as a valid argument for willy nilly spending on every little thing, but for people who have saved for something that matters to them, I agree with the sentiment whole heartedly.

[Caoineag]

I don't actually know anyone who uses that mentality without good reason. Mainly because the spenders I know are honest about overspending and the rest of the people I know just don't use that logic. Probably because our goal is to be able to afford to do things more than once, lol.

Now I do make sure to buy good enough quality the first time so I don't have to spend more buying something over and over again (sometimes cheap is definitely not cheaper). But we always know that if all goes right, we will most likely have to or want to do something multiple times.

I.e. we have a nice not great blender which we have killed from making too many smoothies. A cheap one would have died much sooner but we didn't go top of the line because we knew we would still manage to kill it. Another is that we went to Scotland on the cheap. Had a great time and plan to go back eventually.

[Russ G]

I don't have a problem with spending for a 'once in a lifetime' experience, trip or whatever but I'll save for it first.

I just wouldn't enjoy it so much if I knew I was coming back to a pile of bills!

[cschin4]

Well, what is "doing it right" mean anyway? Does that mean you need to spend thousands more dollars for a granite countertop vs laminate? One is not more right, it is just a matter of preference. I may indeed get the granite countertop but I want to price it and decide if having stone counters to set my purse on and roll out an occassional pizza is worth the additional cost over laminate. I am not criticizing it, but just pointing out that the advertisers of course try to convince us to spend and spend for the upscale thing.
I used to be more interested in buying stuff. Now I am more interested in experiences such as travel, eating out, etc. And, I can travel and put the memories in my brain instead of buying the $20 t-shirt!

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cschin4

Well, what is "doing it right" mean anyway?

To me, it means doing it the way that best meets our needs and preferences, while still being responsible about the costs involved.

I mentioned remodeling our kitchen. I couldn't care less about granite countertops. I'll be perfectly happy with laminate (that's what we have now) as long as there is much more counter space when we're done. We also have a design flaw in our kitchen that created a narrow passage between the counter and the fridge and we want to eliminate that problem. We want a larger stovetop as the one we have now has 4 burners but is so small that you can't actually have 4 pots going at once because there isn't enough space between the burners. Do we need a Viking professional grade stovetop? Absolutely not? Just something that will meet our needs a lot better than the current unit. So when I say "doing it right", I'm talking about that kind of stuff.

I used to be more interested in buying stuff. Now I am more interested in experiences such as travel, eating out, etc. And, I can travel and put the memories in my brain instead of buying the $20 t-shirt!

Same here. We buy far fewer souvenirs, though when we do buy them, they are of better quality (and higher price) than the stuff we used to buy. And they are of a different nature. We are less likely to buy things that will sit on a shelf (except for Disney, of course) and more likely to buy memory items, like photos on a cruise, or unique items like local crafts or handmade jewelry.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Doing it right? Whether to repair a roof multiple times versus just putting a new roof. Which is better? Probably a new roof to prevent wear to the house. And getting one with a good warranty would be nice.

Or you are having laser eye surgery. Going to $500/eye place or best money can buy? I plan on best, but I'm sure the $500 isn't bad.

[cschin4]

When we went to see "Nemo on Ice" I only brought $100 with us. I was shocked to see every souvenier was $20 a piece! After much whining and gnashing of teeth, I bought the cheaply made overpriced plastic trinkets. Now, these wonderful souveniers are forever lost in a tub in the basement and nobody could care less. Less learned!

[Gruntina]

[quote=cschin4;162232]Well, what is "doing it right" mean anyway? QUOTE]

Doing the short-cut or cheap method in home renovation can lead to expensive problems down the line. The previous homeowners of a friend's home had a wall that buckled. They did a cheap way of fixing it by replacing the sheetrock. The real issue was one end of the house's foundation was sinking but obviously that is expensive and they did not want to go that route.

The sheetrock will again "buckled" with the season changing as the foundation was built on the clay/dirt rather than on a slab concrete. Not doing it the right way will only solve the problem for a very short time.

In these type of cases, doing it the ‘cheap’ way can end up just shortchanging ourselves for the long run.