Can I find love and money?

[marla]

Is it possible to find both love and money? All my relationships seem to be with people that are financially challenged. Is there something wrong with me or do money and love just not go together?

[marvholly]

I suspect you can but have been looking in the WRONG places. Try church, classes, bookstores....NOT bars & dance clubs.

Furthermore, when you add in requirements for honesty, trustworthiness, reasonable intelligence ....you are likely to have a MUCH harder time.

[geojen]

By financially challenged, do you mean they have a lot of debt, they don't make much money, or they don't know how to budget? There's a difference between not being able to manage your money and not making much money but managing it well.

[scfr]

It's possible to find love with someone who has okay money skills, and both of you commit to each other that you will work to improve your money skills and grow your wealth as a team.

Look for someone you can trust and respect completely. If they are careful with your heart, they will be careful with money.

I would think seriously before marrying someone who is already very wealthy (or who is proportionately much wealthier than you are), as it might create a relationship of dependency.

[MonkeyMama]

Yes, I have both love and money!

I agree though with marvholly. It's not even that you have been looking in the wrong places. The thing is if you aren't finding these people where you have been looking, well you need to look elsewhere.

If you only date the best looking guys with the nicest cars, you won't find it. (Not saying you are, just an example). It really isn't that hard to find honesty, trustworhy, reasonable, intelligent men. Who are in general better with money than the rest. You have to look through the smoke and mirrors. They might not always be the most exciting. But makes for a simpler relationship.

[Brokemofo]

If you have true love, the money will not matter.

[pearlieq]

You're very smart to be thinking of money and love together.

You can't really really always control who you fancy--the heart wants what it wants sometimes.

But you have 100% control over who you choose to join your life with. Even if I did have "true love" with someone, I could never have married someone who was terminally irresponsible with money and wasn't willing to improve. It definitely matters!

I wouldn't want that life. I wouldn't want the permanent stress and conflict that went with it. You can care for someone very much and still know that you would not be able to be married to them.

It's not much different from falling for someone who has a drinking or drug problem. You may love them, but hopefully are sensible enough to realize that they are not going to be a good marriage partner if they're not willing to address their problems.

Love and money can definitely go together. There are plenty of members here (myself included) who are very happily married and also have their financial house in order. The key is finding someone responsible who is willing to work as a team to achieve your future goals.

They don't need to be perfect when you first get together (my dH definitely wasn't) but as long as they're willing to accept that there's a problem and actively work on changing it, you can make it work.

[maat55]

Originally Posted by Brokemofo

If you have true love, the money will not matter.

Spoken like a true 16 year old.

[tripods68]

Originally Posted by marla

Is it possible to find both love and money? All my relationships seem to be with people that are financially challenged. Is there something wrong with me or do money and love just not go together?

You need to read the "law of attraction" book can't remember the author but that's an excellent book. Negative attracts negative and vice versa. Whatever you been doing attracting "losers" call it what it is. You need to do the opposite. Capeesh!

[Brokemofo]

Originally Posted by maat55

Spoken like a true 16 year old.

Hah, I'm getting a vision of me at 16, running away from home with my girlfriend on the handlebars of my bike. We only needed each other and all would be fine. Hmmm, where the hell is she today?

[m3racer]

Originally Posted by Brokemofo

If you have true love, the money will not matter.

Many would disagree with you. Let's face it......MONEY is important! While it shouldn't be your only source of happiness, It is very influential in your life. Why do you think most marriages end with some dispute over finances.

[m3racer]

To the OP.....$$ and love definitely go together! Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of BS. Find the man that has all the attributes that you want. Don't settle for anything less than that or else you'll regret it or end up divorced. Why would you want to marry some loser that can't support his family and will mooch for the rest of his life? UGGGH!!

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Originally Posted by Brokemofo

Hah, I'm getting a vision of me at 16, running away from home with my girlfriend on the handlebars of my bike. We only needed each other and all would be fine. Hmmm, where the hell is she today?

Do you think perhaps she foresaw that you would one day be posting on the internet under the confessional name of Brokemofo?

I married someone with no money, but then he did, too. We ate quite a few meals of peanut butter and crackers on our honeymoon which was largely a motorcycle trip and camping. (I did sit on the seat rather than the handle bars. ) But we both knew each other to be very good with the money we had. Our lack of money at that time did not signal anything fundamentally lacking in the person.

[marla]

Thank you all for all your comments. I wrote this late last night more out of frustration than anything. I know form this forum that there are good people out there that also are concerned about money, but I just seem unable to meet any of them. I don't mind working, but I don't want to be the only one working. And I'm really not all that concerned about money as long as there is enough to live on (and I've become quite frugal). It would just be nice to meet a someone with a decent paying job that wants to be with me for who I am.

[Brokemofo]

Originally Posted by m3racer

Many would disagree with you. Let's face it......MONEY is important! While it shouldn't be your only source of happiness, It is very influential in your life. Why do you think most marriages end with some dispute over finances.

I'm sure many would disagree with me just as I do you. You're right, money is important, but money can't buy you love. Love has nothing to do with money, and money has nothing to do with love. In an ideal world one would obviously want both.

[m3racer]

Originally Posted by Brokemofo

I'm sure many would disagree with me just as I do you. You're right, money is important, but money can't buy you love. Love has nothing to do with money, and money has nothing to do with love. In an ideal world one would obviously want both.

You're absolutely right that money can't buy you love. However, it does play an influential and dynamic role with one's SO.

[Broken Arrow]

I don't know how easy or difficult it is to find this, but nowadays, I believe in "financial compatibility". Like many other aspects of compatibility, such as having similar interests or beliefs, money really need to be in sync as well.

I used to think money and "love" clashed. Quite the opposite, the more serious a relationship is, the more it matters. We would like to believe that people can live on love alone, but in practice, it's really money that makes it possible. It's not so much that it buys love, but actually keeps love alive. Money is the foundation that dreams are built on....

In fact, for men, I think the financial commitment comes in early through dating.

Interesting that this thread comes up as I was rambling about something similar last night about it.

[Ima saver]

I certainly agree with broken arrow! When I first dated my husband , he did not have a lot of money, but he was the hardest working person I had ever met. He still is!!

[tripods68]

Originally Posted by m3racer

You're absolutely right that money can't buy you love. However, it does play an influential and dynamic role with one's SO.

You guys haven't seen "millionaire matchmaking" episodes.

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by Brokemofo

If you have true love, the money will not matter.

Hmmm....