Is It More Expensive To Date As A Man Or A Woman?

[terry1156]

Here is another one of those friendly discussions that my wife and I have. In your opinion, is it more expensive for a man or a woman when the two are dating and why? Looking forward to hearing everyone's opinion on this question as well.

[project15]

No question a man spends more money. There's no argument for this either. They pay for dinner fully on the first few dates, they're expected to buy gifts at all holidays, anniversaries, randomly...

Women pay for gifts and maybe split the cost of a dinner when in a serious relationship.

[jc3900]

Well, my personal experience says it's the guy handsdown. It is not as bad lately as my girlfriend has been helping out more, but it is still way more expensive for me than her. I don't really mind too much though as long as it doesn't get rediculous.

[Broken Arrow]

I would definitely have to say the guy.

I actually don't know why that is. I can take a couple of guesses, but in the end, people are so used to the arrangement that no one really questions it.

But if it gets past that point, then things start to even out... sort of.

[Hypersion]

Nice clothing is usually much cheaper for a guy. Also a guy can get away with an $8 hair cut vs a $30 for a woman.

[JanH]

Originally Posted by Hypersion

Nice clothing is usually much cheaper for a guy. Also a guy can get away with an $8 hair cut vs a $30 for a woman.

I was just thinking the same thing! And hair products and makeup and jewelry. DD often gets a new outfit for a different special occasion. Gals' styles and colors change so often. I wonder if it all evens out?

[Broken Arrow]

Hmm, good point.

Dating, I believe, is still harder for the men, but perhaps not necessarily as expensive....

[tripods68]

Hands down man spends more. I remember years ago when I was single, my g/f then would suck me dried (no pun intended) before the end of the month. By pay day I was essentially broke. I eventually left her for that very reason.

[sweeps]

tripods: LOL! It sounds like you got something in return though.

[Seeker]

It depends entirely on where you go out and what you do.

When it's casual dating: movies and dinner, then men pay for everything and ladies are usually not spending extra dollars for these types of things. Or at least hopefully, not too excessively.

When it's formal dating (for a formal event - like a wedding, formal ball, dinner, dance, etc.) then women may have to purchase new clothes, shoes, get their hair done, etc. This can rapidly exceed men's formal wear and costs for the evening.

It probably all balances out in the end, and if you end up in marriage, then it definitlely ends up being the same!

But BF/GF? Probably/usually the guy pays more.

[pearlieq]

Usually the man, especially early in the relationship. It gets closer to even the farther the relationship progresses. But don't knock the cost of how much it can be for a woman to do it up for a man. That can get pricey!

I think it's an important part of the ritual. Everyone has different goals and dreams in mind, but on a subconscious/primal level, I took DH paying for most of our dates as him signaling to me "I can provide for you and take care of you. You and our children will be safe and healthy."

Yes, I know that makes us sound like cave people. But really, that stuff doesn't go away. We ladies have our own set of messages we convey.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Guy usually. For some reason women say they are equals but most I know and have read on message boards diss guys who don't pay for dates.

[marla]

Men have no clue how much money it takes to look good. Yes, they spend money on the dates, but the time and money it takes to look perfect for those dates all comes from the woman's pocket. Men don't care about that as much and don't spend the money. Men, think about your prom and the time it took you to get ready for that. That is what it is like for woman even on a casual date.

[Caoineag]

I think men tend to spend more.

I never let a guy pay for me because I am not that type of girl (its always been dutch with me) but I was never the dating type anyway. And I know I am the exception to the rule on this. I know plenty of women who say they are feminists but then let the men pay for at least the first date.

Amazing how much hypocrisy the human mind can justify away...

[syracusa]

Definitely man. While I was quite adamant about mainaining that it is more expensive to be a woman when it comes to personal expenses, but if we single out those people in the dating market...definitely men.

It made me cringe when my husband told me how much he was paying every time he would go on a date with a girl, before we met...at a time when he was making quite little. But he had to appear OK, confident in his finances and dignified.

I would go crazy to be in that kind of situation.

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by Caoineag

I know plenty of women who say they are feminists but then let the men pay for at least the first date.

Amazing how much hypocrisy the human mind can justify away...

I am not a feminist (not the kind that promote women's absolute independence from anything and anyone) so I used to let the guys pay on the date. At that time, I could not have paid for myself at restaurants anyway - I was a grad student on an exremely tight stipend and a small scholarship, with no right to work in the US.

I did not expect them to take me places anyway. I could have been just as happy walking somewhere with a cup of water in our hand, but they always wanted to go somewhere (my husband included) . So they always paid.

It worked just fine for me. Feminism is overrated anyway.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I also never let me pay the first date. It was dutch. And even when I was younger my mom instilled that women needed to be firm about being equals.

But most of my friends expect men to pay.

[brig2221]

Originally Posted by Hypersion

Nice clothing is usually much cheaper for a guy. Also a guy can get away with an $8 hair cut vs a $30 for a woman.

I would argue that a woman is going to spend money on haircuts and nice clothes for the most part anyway. When I think of expenses as it relates to dating, I am thinking of who is picking up a majority of the costs as it relates specifically to the dates.

Who is paying for admission to the movies, the theme park, the zoo, etc? Who is picking up the tab at bars and restaurants? Who is typically responsible for giving flowers?

I'm sure I missed a lot of things, but I think you get the point. In my opinion, the man pretty much is responsible for 100% of all of that, at least when you are still in the courting stage. Me personally, once we move from dating to actual boyfriend and girlfriend, that is when I start to move things over to 50/50 regarding expenses.

Why is it done this way? Tradition.

[Caoineag]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

I also never let me pay the first date. It was dutch. And even when I was younger my mom instilled that women needed to be firm about being equals.

But most of my friends expect men to pay.

Off topic but my mom was mostly old fashioned in this sense. So not really sure where I got my ideas of equality from. Maybe I should blame it on my father. As much as he wanted to keep me safe because I was a girl, I still did the type of things that sons do i.e., bailing hay, loading up firewood, remodeling the house, etc. He also taught me to protect myself so I was usually stronger than the guys I hung out with. And despite seeing women as needing protection, he not so secretly loved (and bragged about) the fact that boys were scared of me all through high school

My best friend however, is definitely old fashioned. The man pays for everything and not just the first date either.

Then there's my hubby. We used to have wars over the check. Now I let him pay for that and I buy the groceries and everything else we need

[jc3900]

I don't really buy the argument that it cost a lot to look good mainly because you would still buy new clothes, makeup, accessories and what not if you wern't dating. The guy however wouldn't have the dating expenses if you wern't dating.