Is it more expensive being a woman or a man?

[cptacek]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

I use a razor to shave my legs, he doesn't. I use lotion afterwards, he doesn't.

You use lotion after you shave your legs! OUCH!!!

[disneysteve]

Interesting thread and responses. My wife is definitely not the "typical" woman as she cuts her own hair, doesn't wear make-up, doesn't do her nails (or have them done) and doesn't wear perfume.

Still, I'd have to agree with the majority and say women are more expensive. There are the necessities related to the monthly cycle. I don't even want to know how much we've spent in that department over the years (and it is even worse now that our daughter is of that age).

As for non-necessities, you've got even basic jewelry - a necklace, a bracelet and a pair of earrings. Compare that to the buy who is just fine with zilch. the woman has a different pair of shoes for every outfit. The guy has 2 pairs - one brown, one black. The woman has multiple purses for different outfits, occasions and seasons. The man has one wallet that he uses year-round and keeps for many years. Mine is probably 10 years old. The woman wears stockings that are shot after one or two uses. The man wears socks that last for years. I could go on and on. Even with a wife who I feel is very low maintenance (that's why I love her), she's still way more expensive than I am.

[MonkeyMama]

Originally Posted by pearlieq

I think I'm a lot like you. I have a serviceable wardrobe that is clean and works for most occasions. I don't need a whole lot of fancy clothes or to slavishly follow trends. I have a few pieces that I splurged on, but that's discretionary spending.

I don't wear makeup except for on special occasions (not worth the money or time for me), and I don't have an elaborate hairstyle or lots of jewelry. I don't need 56 separate moisturizers and potions to get ready in the morning. I own 8 pairs of shoes--about the same as DH.

I don't think of myself as "butch", unattractive, or lacking style. I prefer to consider myself simple, clean, natural, and unaffected.

I don't begrudge anyone wanting to be more elaborate with their personal habits or clothing--it can be fun and some people really enjoy it. But you just can't blur the line between needs and wants.

Amen.

I don't really identify with the "need" for spending money on my hair or nails or even wearing makeup.

That butch comment made me laugh. I am not butch in the least. I just don't buy into the whole product thing.

Likewise, I don't really identify with the jewelry, accessory, pile of shoe things.

My husband and I don't really spend our money very differently.

Oh, I know I am unique. BUT I cringe that women really believe they have to spend a lot of money on products to be feminine or attractive. Or you have to have a pair of shoes for every outfit. It just reminds me with Keeping up with the Joneses thing. If you enjoy it, is one thing. That's your perogative. But when you call women who don't buy into it "butch, that's pretty ignorant. I know plenty of beautiful/feminine women who don't buy into all that.

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by MonkeyMama

Amen.

I don't really identify with the "need" for spending money on my hair or nails or even wearing makeup.

That butch comment made me laugh. I am not butch in the least. I just don't buy into the whole product thing.

Likewise, I don't really identify with the jewelry, accessory, pile of shoe things.

My husband and I don't really spend our money very differently.

Oh, I know I am unique. BUT I cringe that women really believe they have to spend a lot of money on products to be feminine or attractive. Or you have to have a pair of shoes for every outfit. It just reminds me with Keeping up with the Joneses thing. If you enjoy it, is one thing. That's your perogative. But when you call women who don't buy into it "butch, that's pretty ignorant. I know plenty of beautiful/feminine women who don't buy into all that.

Well...I am sorry to say that not ALL women can pull off the feminine look the "natural" way. Yes, I know women such as yourself - who look perfectly fine without having their faces touched by anything. That's the natural type. I am not that type and I would go so far as to say that most women cannot just come out of bed, comb their hair, wash their face and get out the door with a look that society would deem feminine/pleasent/attractive. You can pour all the feminist propaganda you want into it, you will still have a large percentage of women who will simply NOT look good the natural way.

If you are one of those women who can sport the natural look, good for you and lucky you. But most women do not have that advantage.

I have noticed way too many posters around here posting the "ignorant" remark as soon as their views differ from what they read. Now that's not terribly smart either.

[aida2003]

In general, when spending ONLY for personal stuff, then it's definitely a WOMAN who is more expensive. If you add toys men love (cars, BestBuy gadgets, or tools sometimes), then it'd probably men who'd be ahead with more spending.

In our family, I'm more expensive, but compared to the rest of (CONSUMING) ladies, I'm dirt cheap, I should say.
Yes, I like to apply make-up (born and raised in Eastern Europe afterall, where women always look sharp), but I hardly do now due to time constraints. Kids is one thing and I rather sleep longer than spend an hour in front of a mirror. . So, I just use a pencil for eyes before leaving the house to work and then apply lipstick in the car when the light is red.
DH gave me good perfume 4 years ago for V-day and I've still got half.
Since I detest cloth shopping (for myself and DD), I go when I really feel I need it.
Hopefully today an ultrasound will show I'm expecting a boy. Boys are so PRACTICAL to have.

[pearlieq]

Originally Posted by syracusa

But most women do not have that advantage.

I disagree. I think most, if not all, people look perfectly lovely and attractive in their clean and natural state.

I actually feel terribly sorry for people who buy into these notions that they have to paint themselves, fuss with their hair, etc. to be attractive. I think they must not like themselves very much. I'm all for hygiene and grooming, and even for doing up the hair and makeup when you WANT to, but those women who can't leave the house without "putting their face on" make me so sad.

I don't worry about them judging me--I can see it in the context of their own fears and insecurities. In other words--it's their problem, not mine.

It certainly hasn't hurt me--I'm doing just fine.

On a side note--we should probably put a pin in the "butch" label. It could be deeply offensive and hurtful.

[HNorton]

For a man, trying to get a woman can break your bank. For that matter trying to keep a woman will do the same. My buddies that are married tell me that women do what they WANT to do with the family money while men do what they HAVE to do. Big difference

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by pearlieq

I disagree. I think most, if not all, people look perfectly lovely and attractive in their clean and natural state.

I would agree if the rest of society would agree with you too.
Surprise, surprise - it doesn't.

Example: the vast majority of women whom most people would describe as "attractive, pretty, beautiful, well put-together, etc" DO NOT walk around sporting the perfectly natural look. I understand that this is what YOU WISH we had in society, but this is not what WE HAVE.

That does not mean I do not like myself or that I have insecurities. Yes, I do think that I look better with some make-up on than with my face completely natural and washed out - and if you want to label this as "insecurity", then feel free.
I am perfectly comfortable around my husband looking at my very worst possible, this is not the point. He's seen me with flu and snot at the nose and swollen face and everything bad in between, so it has nothing to do with any "fight or flight" fear. I ALSO could easily get out the door in a hurry, if I had to, with my face touched by nothing.

But why would I want to do that when both society and myself think I look better with some make-up on than with the washed-out face? Why would I want to do this when it is clear that women perceived to be well put-togeher do so much better both in their personal and their work lives than those who look "unkept"?

Again, if the natural look works for you and makes you look "put together" and sharp anyway- great. For most it doesn't even if you WISH everyone else believed so.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'm also a natural state woman, but I use more product! Come one ladies whose got a 2cm buzz cut like my DH? Do you really use as little toilet paper as a man? Do you only carry a wallet and no purse?

I have maybe 10 pairs of shoe because my routine is jeans, sweatshirt, shirt, jacket, and sneakers!

But I still carry lip gloss, hand moisturizer, sunscreen, etc. My DH just jumps and goes. He even says I'm one of the few females who can run out the door, but I still have more stuff than him.

Granted maybe your hubby's hair is as long as mine (little past shoulder), but heck it takes longer to wash and condition hair than a little ole buzz cut. I also blow dry and braid or tie back my hair. My DH wipes the towel and is off and running.

And my one bra costs more than his entire outfit. Yes it can, I've found well made bras costs a lot. They aren't $10, more like $20-30. More if you are super well endowed according to said ladies.

So how do men ever cost more in bare essentials? Maybe toys, but I love the Wii, I love a sports car, I enjoy techie things, I love to travel way more than my DH, I love jewelry (my mom gives me tons), and while I hate to shop I enjoy good food.

Men can eat simpler I think as well. Women go more gourmet foods but smaller portions. Men might eat chips and call it a meal, women usually make something.

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

I'm also a natural state woman, but I use more product! Come one ladies whose got a 2cm buzz cut like my DH? Do you really use as little toilet paper as a man? Do you only carry a wallet and no purse?

I have maybe 10 pairs of shoe because my routine is jeans, sweatshirt, shirt, jacket, and sneakers!

But I still carry lip gloss, hand moisturizer, sunscreen, etc. My DH just jumps and goes. He even says I'm one of the few females who can run out the door, but I still have more stuff than him.

Granted maybe your hubby's hair is as long as mine (little past shoulder), but heck it takes longer to wash and condition hair than a little ole buzz cut. I also blow dry and braid or tie back my hair. My DH wipes the towel and is off and running.

And my one bra costs more than his entire outfit. Yes it can, I've found well made bras costs a lot. They aren't $10, more like $20-30. More if you are super well endowed according to said ladies.

So how do men ever cost more in bare essentials? Maybe toys, but I love the Wii, I love a sports car, I enjoy techie things, I love to travel way more than my DH, I love jewelry (my mom gives me tons), and while I hate to shop I enjoy good food.

Men can eat simpler I think as well. Women go more gourmet foods but smaller portions. Men might eat chips and call it a meal, women usually make something.

Correct.
I may have sounded like I am the type that buys tons of make-up, clothes, etc. In actuality - I use little and I know I have much, much less of most of this "female" stuff compared to the vast majority of women I met. But would I give them up altogether? No.
Even when attempting to pull off the "natural" look, with very subtle make-up (by no means PAINTED, Dolly Parton style...who in the world still wants to do that anyway) - that "natural" look can involve quite a bit of make-up especially if your skin has blotches, redness, you developed bags under eyes, etc. So this is surely not about being PAINTED!

No matter how you put it, women still have more personal expenses than men.

[zakity]

In my house, DH is the spendier one. I am also rather butch.

Hair:
He needs haircuts every 6 to 8 weeks ($10 a cut).

Clothes:
He needs nice work clothes (short sleeved button down the front cotton shirts and nice Docker-type pants). Non-work wear for him is henley's and jeans.

Shoes:
He has funky sized feet and so every few years we spend about $100 per pair of nice work shoes. We buy 2 to 3 pairs at a time. It cuts down on his need to go shopping (which he hates). It also saves on time and effort since we only have to go to the special shop every few years. His tennis shoes are cheapos from Kmart ($15 per pair or so). I know the brand, type, and size and I just go pick them up when I find a sale on them when he needs them.


My Hair:
I get a haircut about once a year (about $10 to $12, cheaper if I can find a coupon or a sale, last one was $7). I could use it more often, but it just doesn't work out. My hair is shoulder-length (at the moment) and straight. I always wear it in a pony-tail. I do require conditioner, but I mix the good stuff that I get cheap with cheap conditioner.

My Clothes:
Most of my shirts are DH's old work shirts. When they start looking bad (a little faded or whatever) and aren't wearable to work, I get them. They still have life in them, but they just aren't nice enough for him to wear to work. Sometimes, they just don't fit him quit right through the shoulders or something (wrong color maybe), so I get them before they are wearing out. My jeans are some of his old ones that he grew out of (we are both overweight). I usually wear shorts all year long (I am one of those "always hot" people).

My Shoes:
My shoes that just wore out cost $10. I wore them for three years. My new ones were bought for $9. My sandals are ones I bought 3 years ago for $5. They are actually girl's sandals, but they look like they are men's. Usually, I wear men's sandals. They last longer and they are flat. Girls sandals usually have heels and I would break my ankle. I do have several pairs of flipflops too, but most of them were bought for $1 per pair (found a great sale and stocked up). I do have a pair of "girly" sandals that are flats, but they were bought 4 or 5 years ago for $7 (clearance rack) and they were bought for a special trip where looks counted (needed a pair that would go with lots of different outfits and would look "dressy").


We both use shampoo and bars of soap. He uses razors and shave cream, but I use Nair (every few months or so, maybe a bottle a year). My rule is: if you are close enough to see the hair on my legs, you are too close. His razors are more expensive than mine. They are the kind where you change the head. I buy the cheapy one blade disposables and I use about one a year. I also don't wear makeup.

I do have an earring "thing" (jokingly referred to as a "fetish", sometimes I just have a NEED for a new pair of earrings). I have to wear Sterling Silver or expensive gold (or my ears itch and get red). I prefer silver ones though. I try to never pay more than $5 for a new pair (and I better totally love them for that price). I also try really hard to only buy one or two pairs a year.

[Gruntina]

Originally Posted by syracusa

You can pour all the feminist propaganda you want into it, you will still have a large percentage of women who will simply NOT look good the natural way.

When I think of Botox, plastic surgery, spider eyelashes, tummy tucks.. I think Yikes!
But that just on the full out side of beauty that some women goes for. Sometime unnatural is not a good thing.

I do understand what you are saying that some women do look prettier with some make-up than without. But it should not burden someone so much that they feel they can't walk out of their homes without it. It also can be achieved cheaply if it has to be a necessity.

I mentioned earlier that as far as jewelry, I only wear my wedding band and engagement ring(inexpensive) and 6 pairs of earrings. Truth is that none of my earrings are made of precious stones or real gold/silver. They were really cheap but they look cute. I shop at Target even though I work in HR for a worldwide corporate as we need to have professional attire. I may not have the nicer quality clothing’s, shoes, big diamond rings like most of my co-workers but I am still there along with them doing the job, having lunches with them as I am no different.

Yes I can get away with going with the clean and natural look and have gotten compliments so I will be honest there. But truth is that it took me almost 10 years to figure that out because I was heavily into a lot of products and make-up starting at age 12!!! I was influenced by my mother and sister as well as teen magazines and high school. It just developed more heavy over the years until I reach a point where I was just tired all the time being consumed with my looks and taking the time for it. I also realized I do not need to cling to an identity and try to fit in the society as I am already there no matter what. Funny thing is when I started to be freer and wear less make-up… my world did not change a bit.

Today’s marketing advertises heavily that women do not look good without their products and many people believe it.

If I was more well of financially and had all my basis taken care of, I would buy more clothes and start wearing perfumes again because it would be something I enjoy and not needed. Right now I just can't justify buying all that with my personal financial goals.

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by Gruntina

When I think of Botox, plastic surgery, spider eyelashes, tummy tucks.. I think Yikes!
But that just on the full out side of beauty that some women goes for. Sometime unnatural is not a good thing.

I do understand what you are saying that some women do look prettier with some make-up than without. But it should not burden someone so much that they feel they can't walk out of their homes without it. It also can be achieved cheaply if it has to be a necessity.

I mentioned earlier that as far as jewelry, I only wear my wedding band and engagement ring(inexpensive) and 6 pairs of earrings. Truth is that none of my earrings are made of precious stones or real gold/silver. They were really cheap but they look cute. I shop at Target even though I work in HR for a worldwide corporate as we need to have professional attire. I may not have the nicer quality clothing’s, shoes, big diamond rings like most of my co-workers but I am still there along with them doing the job, having lunches with them as I am no different.

Yes I can get away with going with the clean and natural look and have gotten compliments so I will be honest there. But truth is that it took me almost 10 years to figure that out because I was heavily into a lot of products and make-up starting at age 12!!! I was influenced by my mother and sister as well as teen magazines and high school. It just developed more heavy over the years until I reach a point where I was just tired all the time being consumed with my looks and taking the time for it. I also realized I do not need to cling to an identity and try to fit in the society as I am already there no matter what. Funny thing is when I started to be freer and wear less make-up… my world did not change a bit.

Today’s marketing advertises heavily that women do not look good without their products and many people believe it.

If I was more well of financially and had all my basis taken care of, I would buy more clothes and start wearing perfumes again because it would be something I enjoy and not needed. Right now I just can't justify buying all that with my personal financial goals.

I agree with everything you said. But even the "little" that some women use to do the minimum in terms of looking decent add to their personal expense cost and makes them more expensive than men.

That was the initial question: who's more expensive on average?

Otherwise, I completely agree with everything you said. I would never advocate becoming obsessed with looks, being dependent on having your face painted or you can't step out of the house, so on so forth.
I was talking about minimum decent limits which apply to a VAST MAJORITY of women. Just look around you in the streets: most women wear some make-up, hose, jewelry, have longer hair than men, etc.

It's not brain surgery. Most practice such things. It's what it is done in our society, whether some of us would rather have a world of completely naturally looking women or not.

Really.

[Gruntina]

Originally Posted by syracusa

That was the initial question: who's more expensive on average?

I guess it really varies on which perspective you’re looking at and that would make no wrong or right answers. I see response based on bare necessity and based on average stereotypes. In either ways , women still wins by the responses of many as being more expensive than being a man.

I honestly really do not know the “typical women” as I see half of the ladies here at work are either wearing all the make-up and accessories while the other half are pretty simple. I do know that the ones that do wear make-up and cute clothing’s all the time do stand out more in similar ways like the actresses on tv’s and movies would. “Marketing” is really powerful influence. But in reality I see all types of women so this has been a very interesting read.

[terry1156]

This has been a great discussion as well. I guess it really does depend on the individuals.

[scfr]

Interesting discussion.

In our house, my husband is definitely the more expensive one, but that is because he golfs ... but that has nothing to do with gender, and everything to do with hobbies.

There is one important thing that has not been mentioned: The average man weighs quite a bit more than the average woman, and therefore needs to consume more calories daily, burns more fuel driving the car, wears out the furniture faster, etc. I wonder if those extra costs make up for the basic extra costs of being female (monthly products, etc.). I have no idea if they do, but just wondering and thinking out loud.