Having Children Too Soon Will Make You Poor

[trex]

I have nothing against having children, but I think that you are doing a disservice to your finances when you have children young and you don't have your finances in order. Having children cost a lot of money. A huge amount and if you don't have your finances in order before you have children, you are going to have huge problems later in life because you will always be poor.

Think of it this way. Look at the people that say having kids when you're young is good. They are almost always poor. Kids cost a ton and when you have a child, you are committing yourself to live at the current lifestyle and even below. Any extra money will go to diapers and other kid costs. If you have debt, you're going to keep debt and probably increase it.

There is nothing wrong with having kids. Just don't have them until you have your finances in order and save yourself a lot of stress and fights. Will your survive when you have kids when you're young? Sure, but you will survive without any money.

[project15]

Welcome to the boards. Interesting first post.

According to statistics, the later in life you have kids, the greater risk they have towards disabilities. So you can either have healthy kids when you're young and not have money or you can have unhealthy kids when you're old and pay more money for medical costs.

Point is: kids are expensive anytime you have them. It's a life choice based on more than just finances.

[trex]

Originally Posted by project15

Welcome to the boards. Interesting first post.

According to statistics, the later in life you have kids, the greater risk they have towards disabilities. So you can either have healthy kids when you're young and not have money or you can have unhealthy kids when you're old and pay more money for medical costs.

Point is: kids are expensive anytime you have them. It's a life choice based on more than just finances.

I didn't say have children when you are old, I said have children when you are financially secure. Having children when you are in your late twenties or early thirties doesn't carry those risks.

[m3racer]

Originally Posted by trex

I have nothing against having children, but I think that you are doing a disservice to your finances when you have children young and you don't have your finances in order. Having children cost a lot of money. A huge amount and if you don't have your finances in order before you have children, you are going to have huge problems later in life because you will always be poor.

Think of it this way. Look at the people that say having kids when you're young is good. They are almost always poor. Kids cost a ton and when you have a child, you are committing yourself to live at the current lifestyle and even below. Any extra money will go to diapers and other kid costs. If you have debt, you're going to keep debt and probably increase it.

There is nothing wrong with having kids. Just don't have them until you have your finances in order and save yourself a lot of stress and fights. Will your survive when you have kids when you're young? Sure, but you will survive without any money.

Amen to that!!!

[cicy33]

Well, then, I must be an alien! I had my daughter at 17 when I had no money and soon after went on public aid for a few years. Fast forward to today I went back to school, have a great job, am not rich by any means but am not poor. Our family average income is around 65k. Just because you are poor when you have kids does not mean you will be poor forever. Every person makes their own choices. I could have stayed on public aid for the full life of my child but I did not. By the time she was 5 I was self sufficient. Not everyone who has kids when they don't have much money are doomed to a life of poverty. and if anyone was headed for it I was. I was 17, high school drop out, no drivers license, no skills, NOTHING. But I decided that was not the life for me and my child. I raised my daughter by myself for most of our lives and the only help I received was a medical card for her after the age of 5. I am sure you didn't mean to generalize but I am not just like everyone else and I had ALL the strikes against me. If I can do it anyone can, you just have to want to. and that applies to people without kids too. for the record. My daughter is now 22 and has given me the most beautiful and amazing granddaughter. I am so happy that at 40 I am still young enough to enjoy my grandchild. She has worked since she was 16 for the extras she wanted, i.e. cell phone, car insurance. I bought her first car. I think I paid $500 for it. And if we have any young moms (or dads) out there that think there is no options think again! There are always options. You just have to have the desire to want more.

[Lori63]

If I waited until I was financially secure I wouldn't have had my three boys. We struggled at times but I wouldn't change the way we did things at all.

I do, however, understand what you are saying.

[jc3900]

I havn't had kids and am from a family of 8 kids. I don't think the decision to have children has anything to do with your finances.

[Ima saver]

I agree with not having children the first few years of marriage, if possible.

[trex]

Originally Posted by cicy33

Well, then, I must be an alien! I had my daughter at 17 when I had no money and soon after went on public aid for a few years. Fast forward to today I went back to school, have a great job, am not rich by any means but am not poor.

I would agree with that assessment. You are not normal because you are on this board which already shows that you are not a typical person.

[trex]

Originally Posted by jc3900

I don't think the decision to have children has anything to do with your finances.

Which would make you wrong.

[aevans1206]

I hear my brother and sister discuss how they want to wait for the "right time" to have kids. There is no "right time" or perfect plan to having children. Businesses can fail, people can lose jobs or people can also appear to be well off, but accumulate massive amounts of debt while young and carefree about spending. I believe to each his own. I had a child at 24, have subsequently furthered my career through education and my income has increased to almost twice what it was when I first struck out on my own. Although I may have debt, we are by no means poor on any level. We are an extremely happy family and are not in want of anything. I couldn't live without my bubby! Remember that one's opinions can sometimes hurt the feelings of others.

[trex]

Originally Posted by aevans1206

I hear my brother and sister discuss how they want to wait for the "right time" to have kids. There is no "right time" or perfect plan to having children. Businesses can fail, people can lose jobs or people can also appear to be well off, but accumulate massive amounts of debt while young and carefree about spending. I believe to each his own. I had a child at 24, have subsequently furthered my career through education and my income has increased to almost twice what it was when I first struck out on my own. Although I may have debt, we are by no means poor on any level. We are an extremely happy family and are not in want of anything. I couldn't live without my bubby! Remember that one's opinions can sometimes hurt the feelings of others.

Never said there was a perfect time. I said there is a difference between being in debt and being financially secure when you have children. Look, I'm sorry if my opinion hurts other people's feelings. I just say it like I see it.

[cicy33]

Originally Posted by trex

I would agree with that assessment. You are not normal because you are on this board which already shows that you are not a typical person.

Well, thank you! I love being different, normal bores me. Seriously, I believe that most people want to do well. It is the few that do it on purpose and keep themselves poor make a bad name for it.

[aevans1206]

Originally Posted by trex

Never said there was a perfect time. I said there is a difference between being in debt and being financially secure when you ahve children. Look, I'm sorry if my opinion hurts other people's feelings. I just say it like I see it.

I just wonder, do you happen to have children TREX? And what is your definition of poor?

[trex]

Originally Posted by aevans1206

I just wonder, do you happen to have children TREX? And what is your definition of poor?

Yes, I have two beautiful daughters. One 3 years old and one 6 months.

My definition of poor is not being able to live on what you make and save a minimum of 10%. It has nothing to do with what you make, but whether you are financially secure.

[FrugalFish]

But Trex, what about circumstances changing? I've been financially secure, followed by being unemployed for a long period of time, followed by being homeless, followed by being financially secure again. I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined that stuff in the middle. Unless someone is financially independent, they are never 100% financially secure. Job loss, injury, illness- these things happen. Great if you are covered with some kind of insurance, but even then, there can be a significant change in lifestyle.

I would argue your point further though in saying that even someone who's "poor" might be penny wise enough to provide well for their children's needs. I've known a number of people who make a good salary, but put their wants above their kids needs. There are a lot more facets here than saying you need $XXX before you should have kids.

[trex]

Originally Posted by FrugalFish

But Trex, what about circumstances changing? I've been financially secure, followed by being unemployed for a long period of time, followed by being homeless, followed by being financially secure again. I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined that stuff in the middle. Unless someone is financially independent, they are never 100% financially secure. Job loss, injury, illness- these things happen. Great if you are covered with some kind of insurance, but even then, there can be a significant change in lifestyle.

I would argue your point further though in saying that even someone who's "poor" might be penny wise enough to provide well for their children's needs. I've known a number of people who make a good salary, but put their wants above their kids needs. There are a lot more facets here than saying you need $XXX before you should have kids.

Did I ever say you needed $XXX before you should have kids? No, I specifically said that you should be in a financially secure situation where you are spending less than you make and are able to save.

Life happens. There is always a chance that the unexpected will happen. I never said don't live life unless things are perfect. Things will never be perfect. All I said that if you are in debt when you have kids, you are most likely going to remain in debt. That's the way life works. If you don't have debt and you have been able to save a bit, that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. In fact, life will throw you plenty of curves since it does everyone. But you have a much better chance of moving beyond being poor than if you started off in debt.

Look, I know what I'm saying isn't politically correct. That doesn't mean it's wrong.

[cs1992]

I wouldn't say that age is the problem. I would say that the number of children you have is more of an inhibitor to financial success. One child is expensive and the costs go up significantly with each additional dependent.

[maat55]

I had kids at 21 and i'm not poor. I was in my early 40's when they went to college. There's advantages in any senario, I wouldn't change a thing.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

benefits and debt to all. But no life is without sacrifice.

One thing though I think about having kids early, is the potential to not be in a stable, committed relationships. I noticed that Cicy33 said at 17 a single mom. Not a bad thing, but perhaps life would have been better if she had been in a stable relationship and able to share the burden.

That being said, kids are a huge pressure on a relationship. SO it's probably a bad idea to have kids when you are struggling with debt, in an unstable or uncommitted relationship.