Q: How many customer service representatives does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: 5. One to incorrectly diagnose the problem, 2 to repeat the first
rep's notes to the customer, and one to inform the customer that the
lightbulb changing service is no longer available in that location.
Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.
A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
A4. Rottweiler: Make me.
A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can
I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from
the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one
more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of
the situation.
A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb?
A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little cluster...
A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do
it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light
bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect
some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE
STAFF.
